|Glass Island, Jungle Island
This is one of those clear plastic monkeys you used to beg your mom to buy you from the one little weird toy rack at the drug store. You're glad she never did, because as scary as it is at 100x its original size, it's also 100x as obviously boring.
The monkey sits motionless, but an errant breeze wafts an unrelated nasty smell in from somewhere else on the island. Eek! (stench damage)
Light refracts through a lens-like part of the monkey's anatomy, concentrating it on your <groin>. Eek! (CRITICAL HIT!)
The monkey sits there being no fun to play with.
The monkey just keeps being boring.
The monkey sits motionless. You stop to consider that if you had like ten more of them, it still wouldn't be any fun.
The monkey sits there being no fun to play with. (FUMBLE!)
You find a puddle of unidentifiable booze in the broken-off bottom of a nearby glass bottle. Your crew will probably appreciate this.
You gain 1 grog
That fight was relatively exciting...
You gain 3 PirateRealm FunPoints