Talk:Heartbreaker's Hotel

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So I take it no-one knows what is encountered here? --Fettucine the Noodle 16:31, 2 August 2007 (CDT)

  • Nope. It's not entirely implemented yet. --TechSmurf 16:58, 2 August 2007 (CDT)
  • Be warned: Even though there is no content yet, clicking on the hotel while falling-down drunk will give you a drunken stupor adventure. --JoetheRat 15:10, 7 August 2007 (CDT)

I Think It's Safe to Assume There is no Clover Adventure, Considering it's Bad Moon Only. El taco 19:22, 20 October 2007 (CDT)

  • Maybe, but adventuring here with a pulled clover after freeing the king would be possible, assuming back door access to Hagnk's hasn't been closed before this area becomes implemented. Australopithecus 22:18, 2 December 2007 (CST)

Think there's gonna be a bad moon adventure here? =). --Mxylptlk 17:01, 24 February 2008 (CST)

Has anyone tried adventuring here with the Black Cat familiar?--Larryboy 23:52, 15 August 2008 (CDT)

  • Yup, I really think when they say "Not implemented" they mean "NOT IMPLEMENTED". There is no way adventuring here in every imaginable way is going to unlock some unwritten zone. There is no point posting any theory as to how it will open unless you have found one and in that case, screenshot or it didn't happen.--Whap 15:24, 24 September 2008 (UTC)

Should be available now, per the Announcement from just minutes ago:

September 01 - In celebration of the fact that it is Tuesday, Heartbreaker's Hotel has finally opened its doors to the damned public.

--Baltar 20:36, 1 September 2009 (UTC)



Note: Can be done while drunk! --Thagorn 20:37, 1 September 2009 (UTC)

//Starts with:

Welcome to Heartbreaker's Hotel. We always have vacancy, and our rooms are free, but be warned -- you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave!

No, wait. You can leave any time you like, and there's no need to check out. I always screw that up.

Anyway. Take the Hellevator up to whatever floor you'd like. Bear in mind that exiting the Hellevator will deposit you in a parallel universe very similar to our own, but worse.

[Step into the Hellavator (1)]

//Step into the Hellavator

Hellevator Music

A vague sense of unease grows within you as you approach the Hellevator. You screw your courage to the sticking point, and press the call button with a pointy stick (it looks really dirty.)

The door opens and you step inside. Ominous violin music plays as the world begins to swim around you. Nightmare images invade your vision, and nightmare smells invade your nose.

You decide to push one of the buttons before anything else gets invaded. Unfortunately, reality has been warped such that there are only four buttons available for you to push.

[Hit the Lobby Button] //Lobby does consume an adventure [Go to Floor #{number}] [Go to Floor #{number}] [Go to Floor #{number}] //The numbers change, at least 8 floors

This works like the MCD, it modifies ML at the cost of an adventure. Look on the left, it shows you what the +ML is set to in the charpane. --Dunsel 20:48, 1 September 2009 (UTC)

It'd be cool if it used a different set of numbers for the bosses and gave different special rewards, also it would be cool if there is a new trophy for killing all bosses with this set to 11 cause you would need to be in badmoon which would make it harder--Coolness 23:26, 1 September 2009 (UTC)

Just got Baron Von Ratsworth's money clip. Adding. --Littlebeast 06:20, 4 September 2009 (UTC) And in case someone says "SCREENIES OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN", PROOF

Confirmed Boss Bat Britches with Heartbreaker's at 4. --Listen2Reason 03:20, 22 September 2009 (UTC)

Confirmed vertebra of the Bonerdagon. --Listen2Reason 00:55, 24 October 2009 (UTC)


This is what comes up when I hit floor 7 on Heartbreaker's Hotel:

--Results:-- You step into the elevator and press the button for the seventh floor. After a moment, the bell rings and the doors slide open. You step out and find yourself in a vast gray desert, pierced here and there by blocky stone columns that seem to defy normal geometry. Turning, you see two thick silver poles standing waist-high behind you, as though you had just walked between them. As you turn around some more to examine the scene, you are startled to discover three figures in dark robes standing near you. "Jeez!" you exclaim, "Don't sneak up on me like that!" They do not reply, but simply stare at you, their faces concealed by their hoods, their hands tucked into the opposite sleeves, like monks. "Er... what's going on?" you ask. "Where am I? Did I die somehow? This looks like it could be Purgatory, or some kind of weird German Expressionist idea of Heaven..."

One of the figures, the tallest, lowers his hood, revealing a severe-looking elderly man with long stringy gray hair. "You think that when you die, you go to Heaven?" he asks, sneering coldly. "You come to us!" He pulls his hands from his sleeves, revealing a silvery orb about the size of a baseball. Two sharp prongs pop out of its surface, and it darts out of the man's hands with an angry whine, flying directly toward your face. Annoyed, you swat it away, and it it hits the ground with a clank and rolls off. The old man looks somewhat confounded.

"Leave this to me," intones the second figure, lowering his hood to reveal a man with a chalky white face and rows of steel pins piercing his bald scalp. "I have such sights to show him." He opens his hands to reveal an elaborately-engraved black and gold cube, the surfaces of which begin to twist of their own accord. Suddenly, the front of the box pops open, and a hook on the end of a long chain shoots out of it, piercing your flesh!

"Ow!" you say, pulling the hook out and dropping it onto the ground. "Look, I'm not into the whole body modification scene, okay? I mean, sure, a tattoo now and then, but too much is too much, you know? Look, are one of you guys going to tell me what's going on, or not? I don't have the time to waste on stuff like this."

"Time?" says the third figure. "You have all the time in the world. All the time you need..." He lowers his hood, revealing an impish-looking grin and a shock of curly brown hair held back with a terrycloth sweatband. "...for sweatin' to the oldies!" He pulls two tiny barbells out of his sleeves and waves them at you maniacally as you shriek in fear and panic. You stumble backwards between the silver pillars and find yourself on the fire escape of the Hotel. You run screaming down the stairs and out into the night.

Lamb (talk) 18:18, 16 December 2015 (UTC)