Swamped with Leisure
You've managed to make it to the least putrid part of the swamp -- you can finally gather your wits and figure out what to do next.
There's a sign pointing toward a witch's house. That sounds promising.
In the other direction there's a pallisade, with unmistakable troll markings on it. Y'know, markings like "BEWARE OF TROLLS" and "NON-TROLLS NOT WELCOME" and "TROLLS WAS HERE." That kind of thing. There's a gate in the wall, but it's locked with a comically large padlock.
There's also a nasty marshmallow on a stalk near you, so the acquisition of a nasty marshmallow is definitely on the table, even though the marshmallow itself shouldn't be.
With a FantasyRealm Warrior's Helm equipped:
A heretofore unnoticed speaker inside your helmet suddenly blares to life and plays a deafening shriek.
"Rawwwrrr, I'm a dragon!" it bellows. "I'll bet you can't defeat me! Come to my moor and try your strength. It's straight southwest of where you are right now. Rawwwrrrrr!"
So there's that, too. You could accept that very charming invitation.
With a FantasyRealm Thief's Outfit, or FantasyRealm Warrior's Outfit, or FantasyRealm Wizard's Outfit equipped:
Weird, there's also a pedestal here with a big red button on it labeled "SECRET QUEST." How did you never see that before?
| Go towards the witch's house |
It takes an hour of trudging through the muck to make it to the witch's house. Your G. E. M. beeps.
(Unlocks Near the Witch's House)
| Unlock the Troll Fortress | [requires a FantasyRealm key] |
You quickly unlock the gate, but then you lose one of your shoes in the sucking muck of the swamp, and it takes you an hour to retrieve it. Your G. E. M. beeps.
(Unlocks The Troll Fortress)
| Head toward the Dragon'[sic] Moor |
You hike toward the Dragon's Moor, wishing they had made it moor easily accessible.
(Unlocks The Dragon's Moor)
| Pick the nasty marshmallow |
You grab the marshmallow, and then you spend an hour daydreaming about what you might be able to do with it. Your G. E. M. beeps, startling you out of your reverie.
 | You acquire an item: tainted marshmallow |
| Press the big red button |
If the first button pressed: You press the button, and from somewhere underneath it you hear a man's recorded voice say "Susan, please replace this recording with main quest progress dialog number one."
Huh.
If the second button pressed:
You press the button, and from somewhere underneath it you hear a woman's recorded voice say "Hey, this is Susan, I'm not sure if this thing is actually working correctly or not, but"
It cuts off abruptly.
If the third button pressed:
You press the button, and from somewhere underneath it you hear a woman's recorded voice say, in an extremely fake British accent, "Great work, adventurer! You're one step closer to rescuing me from the Skeleton Lord's clutches!"
Hmm. You seem to be missing some context, here.
If the fourth button pressed:
You press the button, and from somewhere underneath it you hear a woman's recorded voice say "Look, if the clowns in narrative can't do any better than another dumb damsel-in-distress story, then I don't see why I should bother putting in the effort on these line reads."
Okay...
If the fifth button pressed:
Fight the Skeleton Lord
| Leave for now |
You'll figure this out later.
Occurs at The Putrid Swamp.
