Stradella, the Accordion Thief

Stradella, the Accordion Thief is located in The Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts after you complete the first challenge.

---

• As Accordion Thief:
  • On initial visit:

    "You the new Accordion Thief? Nice to see a new face around. I'm Stradella, the top Accordion Thief in the Department. There's not much happening right now, but check back later and maybe I'll have something for you to do."

  • On subsequent visits:

    "Sorry, <Player Name>, but there's not much going on at the moment. Try back later."

• As Disco Bandit:
  • On initial visit:

    The Accordion Thief looks you up and down, and sniggers a little. "Are you the new Disco Bandit? I guess Shifty's letting in just about anyone these days. I'm Stradella, the top Accordion Thief in the Department -- or anywhere else, for that matter. Now get out of my face, you're bugging me."

  • On subsequent visits before you unlock the The Wizard of Ego quest or after it is complete:

    Stradella sneers at you. "Beat it, kid. I'm working on important Accordion Thief stuff, here."

The Wizard of Ego

• On initial visit:

  Stradella waves you over. "Hey, you with the face, c'mere. Listen, you're looking for a way to prove yourself in the Brotherhood, right? Course you are. So listen up, I've got a job for you.

  There used to be this wizard named Fernswarthy, see? Lived in a stone tower out on the Nearby Plains. He was pretty powerful, too, until he went and blew hisself up a few years ago. Well, see, we figure there's got to be some good loot in what's left of that tower, only none of us have been able to pick the lock on the gate. Some kind of magic seal, we figure.

  So, your job is to go to the Misspelled Cemetary in the Plains, find Fernswarthy's grave, and get the key to his tower. Hey, somebody's got to do the dirty work, right? You already know where the Cemetary is, right? Good luck, pal, you'll need it."

• On subsequent visits:

  Stradella frowns at you. "You haven't got Fernswarthy's key -- I know because I checked your pockets just now. Look, don't waste my time. Either get me that key, or get lost."

• With Fernswarthy's key:

  Stradella grins and takes Fernswarthy's key from you. "Nice one, <Player Name>. Maybe you're not as useless as you look. I'll have one of our more experienced agents check out the tower. I'm feeling generous, so here's some meat. Now, beat it."

You gain 500 Meat.

• Under Way of the Surprising Fist:

  You take the Meat into town and drop it in the donation slot at the orphanage. You know, the one next to the library.

• The visit after returning the key:

  Oh, hey, c'mere. I got another job for you. Remember that key I had you go get? Well, it turns out everyone else is too busy to check out the tower. Go figure, huh? So, it looks like it's up to you again. Here's the key, and I'll mark the location of the tower on your map. Go sneak in, and see if you can find Fernswarthy's loot in the wreckage."

  "Oh, and a word of warning -- if you were maybe thinking of keeping all the good stuff for yourself, you might wanna ask Frankie We-Cut-All-His-Fingers-Off how we feel about that sort of thing."

You acquire an item: Fernswarthy's key

• On subsequent visits:

  Hey. I know you haven't finished searching the tower yet, and I know you're not gonna bug me until you're done. So, me seeing you here, it must be some kinda hallucination, right? Right.

• The visit with dusty old book:

  Stradella sniffs disdainfully when you show the old book you found. "Feh, that's just an old copy of the Manual of Dexterity, we've got those things coming out our ears. You telling me that's all you found in the ruins? Man, what a waste of time. G'wan, scram, I've got other fish to fry."

You acquire an item: Manual of Dexterity

• After encountering a hit man:

  "<Player Name>, buddy, good to see you've still got your head attached. There's some pretty sketchy people looking for you, and believe me, I know from sketchy."

  "Yeah, I had a run-in with some of them," you mutter darkly. "It looks like there's a price on my head."

  "Yep, that's what we're hearing. No dice on trying to find his hideout yet, either. You might wanna lie low till the heat's off. 'Course, that could be a pretty long time."

  "Yeah, thanks."

• The visit with Secret tropical island volcano lair map:

  "Hey, it's my buddy <Player Name>! I thought your goose was cooked what with thugs and hitmen and like that."

  "No," you reply, "I think I've seen the last of them, thankfully. Have a look at this -- I got it off of their leader." You hand over the secret tropical island volcano lair map.

  "Hah, so it was a secret tropical volcano island after all, eh? I totally called it. From this map, though, it looks like you're gonna need some hardcore sailing gear to get there. A major ship, and guys to run it."

  "Right. I was hoping you could lend me one?"

  "Sorry man. We've got a few fast little boats for, you know, totally legit deliveries, right? But nothing that can handle that section of the sea. Look at these little squiggles, they look super dangerous. You'll have to scam a ride off someone else."

  "That figures."

References

• Stradella refers to a system of laying out the bass buttons on an accordion, and some types of melodeon. It also probably refers to the Italian composer Alessandro Stradella.
• The "Frankie We-Cut-All-His-Fingers-Off" quip is a reference to the movie Snatch, which features a thief named Frankie Four-Fingers who had one of his fingers chopped off for what eventually led to his downfall: gambling and greed.