Shifty, the Thief Chief

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Shifty, the Thief Chief

Shifty, the Thief Chief is located in the Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts. Shifty decides whether or not you may enter the guild by giving you a challenge. Passing the challenge will unlock all sections of the guild.

Challenge Text

  • Initial text:

"So you wanna join the Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts, eh?" Shifty says. "Well, I can't be letting just anybody in. I'm gonna have to give you a test."

"What kind of test?" you ask.

"Lessee..." Shifty looks around the room, then points surreptitiously at a guy lounging in the back. "See that guy over there? That's Izzy the Lizard. Think you can steal his wallet without him noticing?"

"You mean this wallet right here?" you say. "...Hey, wait a minute..."

"Yeah, this wallet right here," Shifty says, taking it out of his pocket. "Not bad, kid. You've got potential."

"So I'm in?"

He shakes his head. "That was just a, whaddyacallit, a preliminary. Here's the real test: I want you to steal your own pants. Without you noticing."

"Steal my... without noticing? That doesn't make any kind of sense."

"Well, if you want in, I guess you'll have to figure it out, kid. Here's a hint: check out the Sleazy Back Alley nearby."

  • Followup text:

"Hey, kid," Shifty nods at you. "You manage to steal your own pants yet?"

"I'm working on it," you say. "Give me another couple of hours... also, give me back my watch."

"Sure, here you go," Shifty says, handing it to you.

"Hey, kid. How'd it go?"

"I did it!" you say. "I stole my own pants, and I didn't even notice! I've got them right..."

"Right here," Shifty says, as he gives them to you. "Nicely done, kid. That is, of course, assuming that you actually did steal them. You might have just borrowed them from yourself, and lied about stealing them."

"What? But I..."

"Nah, don't worry about it. I believe you, so either you're a good thief, or you're a good liar. Either way, you're in."


"Lefty can teach you some new tricks. Check out the Shadowy Store if you wanna pick up some tools. And ask Izzy for the keys to the guild Meatcar if you ever want to take it for a spin.

Now put your pants back on, okay?"

  • After the challenge is completed:

"Oh, it's you again. Listen, kid -- as much as I'd love to have the spare time to sit around chewing the fat with every Tom, Dick and Mary that wanders in here, I've got important things to steal and important people to assassinate. Go bother somebody else.

Lefty, for instance. I think I heard him calling your name just now.""[sic]

Oh, the Meatcar? Ask Izzy where he left the keys."


  • The guild entrance challenges were changed on July 14, 2011. The old challenges can be found here.


  • Stealing pants could be a reference to The Gamers, an RPG themed comedic film.