Seal-clubbing club

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seal-clubbing club
seal-clubbing club

This is a club used to club seals. You could probably club other things with it, too. Just make sure to regularly seal your seal-clubbing club with seal-clubbing club seal.

(Meat Pasting component)
(Meatsmithing component)
Type: weapon (1-handed club)
Damage: 1 - 2
Selling Price: 1 Meat.

(In-game plural: seal-clubbing clubs)

Obtained From

The Spooky Forest
A Three-Tined Fork
Baby Bugged Bugbear
Chewing gum on a string (sometimes)
Deck of Every Card
Draw a Card (X of Clubs)
Calculate the Universe (with a final result of 1)
Starting/Ascending as a Seal Clubber
Obsoleted Areas/Methods
The Sewer
Fishing Around in the Sewer
Sewer Luck! (with ten-leaf clover)
The Curious Monkey



You pretend that <it>'s a seal, and club the crap out of <it> for X damage. ZAP! KAPOW! POW!
You pretend <it>'s a Christmas Seal, and festively club them for X damage. BARF! BONK! SPLAT!
You use your seal-clubbing club to usher <it> into the exclusive "I Just Took X Damage" club. BARF! BIFF! BOOF!
You realize you're never gonna survive unless you get a little crazy, so you crazily bash <it> with your seal-clubbing club for X damage. BOOF! SMACK! BAM!
You compare <it> to a kiss from a rose on the grey. Then you introduce <it> to a kiss from your club on <its> face (for X damage). WHAMMO! BONK! BIFF!


  • This was the very first item.
  • On April 29, 2005, the Giant Trash Quest was accidentally rolled out, and temporarily awarded a seal-clubbing club instead of a giant discarded plastic fork.
  • On January 20, 2006, a half-finished page was found which allowed you to trade 1,000 items in exchange for a banana. However, as the banana item was not coded at the time, the page instead reverted to giving item #1, the seal-clubbing club. Xenophobe subsequently removed the page in question.



Slash.gif disco ball | disco mask | helmet turtle | mariachi pants | pasta spoon | ravioli hat | saucepan | seal-skull helmet | seal-clubbing club | stolen accordion | turtle totem


TOP 10 seal-clubbing club collections
1. Raullen - 1421624 | 2. IcLubYou - 231593 | 3. efilnikufecin - 128935 | 4. TehClubWhore - 126247 | 5. DonPablo - 123123
6. Icon315 - 89236 | 7. Mr Mart - 79738 | 8. hagrid333 - 74838 | 9. AngrySeal - 50696 | 10. Mistress of the Obvious - 45369
Collection data courtesy of ePeterso2 and Jicken Wings