Red Fox

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Red Fox
Monster ID 1525
Locations The Red Zeppelin (While Lucky!)
Hit Points 170
Attack 166
Defense 155
Initiative 200
Meat 160-240
Phylum dude
Elements None
Resistance  ?
Monster Parts leg, torso, head, arm
Drops
red foxglove, Red Fox glove
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Red Fox You're fighting The Red Fox

This is the Red Army's most decorated pilot. She can fly under radar, land in the cover of darkness, and go on an undercover mission with all the wiliness and subterfuge of a fox. If it wasn't for her tendency to occasionally shriek, "Ring-a-ding-ding-ding-a-ding-ding!" she'd be unstoppable.

You suddenly feel less lucky.

Hit Message(s):

She pulls out a hairbrush that conceals a small pistol, but then notices she brought her regular hairbrush by mistake. So she spanks you with it. Ouch! Eek!

She pulls out a makeup compact and tosses it at you. Turns out it was a cleverly-disguised grenade. Ouch! Eek!

She delivers a fair and balanced beatdown. Ugh! Ouch!

She lures your closer with her feminine wiles, then shivs you with a hidden blade. Ow! Ugh!

She barks like a fox, then bites you like a fox who is also a jerk. Ow! Oof!

She pulls out what looks like a tube of lipstick, uses it to shock the crap out of you, then shouts "lipstick taser!" Ow! Argh!

Critical Hit Message:

She locks her thighs around your torso and squeezes until you can only breathe in shallow yiff yiff yiffs. You black out and crumple to the floor like a sack full of meat and doorknobs. Ugh! Oof!

Miss Message(s):

She pulls out a hairbrush with a concealed pistol in it, but there's so much hair wrapped around the bristles that she can't fire it.

She tosses her makeup compact at you, but nothing happens. "Dangit, that was supposed to be a grenade!" she shouts, questioning the wisdom of having her arsenal disguised as beauty products.

She tries to beat you down, but is too fair and balanced to do so.

She tries to lure you closer, but neither her feminine wiles nor her animal magnetism do the trick.

She barks like a fox. She may be crazy like a fox.

She tries to tase you with her lipstick taser, but it turns out she just brought regular lipstick by mistake.

Fumble Message:

She starts dancing around and making weird noises. I mean, you can kind of understand the "Hachi hachi hachi hai" as karate noises, but what's up with the "Tchoff tchoff tchoff?" WHY does the Fox say this stuff? (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain Meat
Foxglove.gifYou acquire an item: red foxglove (100% chance)*
Redglove.gifYou acquire an item: Red Fox glove (1% chance)*

Occurs at The Red Zeppelin while Lucky!

Notes

History

References

  • Redd Foxx was stage name of comedian John Elroy Sanford, known for his role as Fred Sanford on the sitcom Sanford and Son.
  • "What does the fox say?" is a question asked in a song by Norwegian comedy duo Ylvis. Some of the answers it suggests are included in the text.
  • "Yiffing" is sexual activity involving animal costumes.
  • "Lipstick taser" is from Despicable Me 2.
  • "Fair & Balanced" is a slogan of Fox News.