Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter V

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Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter V
Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter V

This is the penultimate chapter of the story of just how much misery the Pork Elf colonists found on Ronald and Grimace. This volume looks to have been written by an elf with a flair for dramatic horror.

Man, these moons are more "vindictive psychotic ex-wife" than "harsh mistress."

Type: usable
Selling Price: 100 Meat.

(In-game plural: copies of Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter V)
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Obtained From

Domed City of Ronaldus
overarmed survivor

When Used

We thought we could handle what the radiation brought us until we could get the shield

(a mighty fortress is our)
fixed. What's an extra arm or leg between friends? Ayuh, we thought we'd weather this storm like we had every other, come no foxes come no chicken coop.

But that comet had stonier soil on it for us to till, and we tilled it till we could till no more. It started subtly,
(oil black oil what's wrong with his eyes)
but before too long even old Madge Skepticdenier could see it. We were changing, and this wasn't no blind-man's-bluff, this was a full-blown frack-a-row. We may have been miles above the world, but we were not,
(his mouth jesus what's that in his mouth)
strictly speaking, alone. No, we weren't alone at all.

MPYou gain 30-40 Mana Points.
HPYou gain 30-40 hit points.


  • "Black Oil" is an X-Files reference.
  • "The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress" is a book by Robert A. Heinlein
  • "A Mighty Fortress Is Our God" is an old Christian hymn, the first line of which is "A mighty fortress is our God, a trusty shield and weapon."
  • The use text is written in the style of the later volumes of Stephen King's Dark Tower series.


TOP 10 Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter V collections
1. Pastahead - 1165 | 2. Sundkvist - 1000 | 3. The Scammer Killer - 629 | 4. Mistress of the Obvious - 352 | 5. Orbrisa - 275
6. dementia13 - 257 | 7. Splotz - 204 | 8. SwordsRCool - 192 | 9. Solve_Omnis - 164 | 10. Artie Effham - 133
Collection data courtesy of ePeterso2 and Jicken Wings