Mobile Armored Sweat Lodge

Mobile Armored Sweat Lodge
Monster ID	488
Locations	The Battlefield (Frat Warrior Fatigues)
Hit Points	300
Attack	180
Defense	162
No-Hit	190
Initiative	20
Meat	None
Phylum	hippy
Elements	stench
Resistance	50%
Monster Parts	hull, wheel
Drops communications windchimes, didgeridooka, gas balloon
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a Mobile Armored Sweat Lodge

This is a sweat lodge, a crude wooden building filled with hot coals, that hippies sit in whenever they want to sweat out all of the toxins and impurities that they're so sure the modern world fills their bodies with. With which, they're so sure, the modern world fills their bodies.

This one has wheels on it, though, and it's coming right toward you! As scary as the idea of a big box of naked hippies is, the idea of a big mobile box of naked hippies nearly paralyzes you with fear. Nearly.

Hit Message(s):

A blast of air emerges from the hole in the front of the sweat lodge, and nearly knocks you out. Both because it's forceful and full of the concentrated stench of several hippies. Eek! Eek! Ouch! Ooh! (stench damage)

A naked hippy emerges from a hatch on top of the sweat lodge and fires a didgeridooka at you. The missle hits you right in the throat, and explodes in a cloud of paisley smoke. Eek! Ugh! Ow! Eek! Argh!

One of the naked hippies inside throws a hot coal at you, which burns your throat. Oof! Ouch! Argh! Ouch! Ooh! (hot damage)

A porthole opens on the side of the sweat lodge and a blast of scalding-hot steam singes your arm. Oof! Ouch! Ugh! Eek! Ouch! (hot damage)

One of the naked hippies inside throws a hot coal at you, singeing your ear. Eek! Ugh! Eek! Ouch! Ouch! (hot damage)

Critical Hit Message:

A naked hippy emerges from the top, carrying a bucket full of hot coals. He dumps them out on top of you. He probably didn't even see you there, but it still hurts. A lot. Ooh! Argh! Ooh! Eek! Eek! (hot damage)

Miss Message(s):

One of the hippies inside pokes a didgeridooka out of a porthole and fires, but misses because he was aiming at your aura instead of your body.

One of the hippies lobs a gas balloon at you, but you inhale the gas and talk funny for a while.

One of the naked hippies inside tries to throw a hot coal at you, but uses his hands instead of the coal tongs. D'oh.

A naked hippy emerges from the top of the sweat lodge, looks at you, and says "wow, I can see your aura, man."

Fumble Message:

The sweat lodge hits a bump in the road. You hear screaming and swearing coming from inside as the hippies are showered with hot coals and embers. (FUMBLE!)

Special Move(s):

A naked hippy emerges from a hatch on top of the sweat lodge and lobs a balloon at you. It pops near your face, and you smell something weird.

You acquire an effect: Light-Headed (duration: 1 Adventure)

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After Combat

You acquire an item: communications windchimes (3.5% chance)*

You acquire an item: didgeridooka (33.2% chance)*

You acquire an item: gas balloon (20.1% chance)*

You gain 45 <substat>.

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Occurs at The Battlefield (Frat Warrior Fatigues).

Notes

• The Mobile Armored Sweat Lodge can only appear naturally after 150 total hippies have been defeated.
• This monster has 50% physical resistance.
• The gas balloon miss message is a reference to inhaling either helium, which raises voices to a squeaky pitch or nitrous oxide, which lowers it to a very deep bass.