Merry Exposition!
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This content has been retired and is no longer available in game. |
As you approach the Grimacite factory, you encounter a lonely elf sitting on a rock. "Greetings, adventurer," he says, "I am known as Stevelrond Backstory, and it is my solemn duty to provide gratuitious exposition to all who enter here."
"Okay," you sigh, "at least you're not your brother, Kevinborn Cutscenetrigger."
"As you might have guessed," Stevelrond continues, "this year's Crimbo calamity comes courtesy of none other than that ne'er-do-well, Uncle Crimbo. He borrowed meat from the Penguin Mafia to build a brand-new, state-of-the-art toy factory that would run on Grimacite, and make all kinds of wonderful, space-age toys! Then he'd sell the toys instead of giving them away, and give the Mafia a cut of the profit. But, of course, Crimbo built the cheapest, shoddiest factory he could and then took the rest of the meat and disappeared. Nobody's seen or heard from him since.
"So it turns out that discount radiation shielding is about as good an idea as bargain laser eye surgery. The elves were trying to make toys in the new factory, and they're all turning into hideous mutated freaks. What's worse, the Penguin Mafia has sent in a bunch of goons to loot the old toy factory, and if no one does anything to stop them, they'll take over Crimbo!
"Please, I beg of you, go into the old factory and get rid of those penguins. I mean, I suppose you could go into the new factory and fight the mutant elves, but that would only help the penguins take over Crimbo, and I'm sure you don't want that. Wait, where are you going?"
Occurred at The Atomic Crimbo Toy Factory (a one-time adventure).
References
- The mention of bargain laser eye surgery as a bad idea may be a reference to an episode of Home Movies in which Coach McGuirk experiences temporary blindness after undergoing bargain laser eye surgery.
- Stevelrond Backstory and Kevinborn Cutscenetrigger are references to The Lord of the Rings characters Elrond Half-Elven and Celeborn the Elf.
