Interview With You (Masquerade)

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Interview With You
Interview With You

You pause a moment to regard the sign, an elegant script engraved in dark green marble: The Masquerade. Below that, smaller letters read: "When life gives you masques..."

A bell jingles as you push open the door and walk into the shop, which is filled with clothing and accessories in a frankly bewildering array of different styles. So much to choose from -- too much!

"Excuse me, but might I be of assistance?" asks a voice near your ear. You turn to see a tall, gaunt man, pale almost to grayness, his clothes gray as well. He is so bland and unassuming that it is no wonder that he managed to approach without your notice. In fact, as you look away from him, you find that you forget what he looked like almost instantly.

"I require new clothing," you say.

"Ah. And you are suffering from, shall we say, 'analysis paralysis'? Spoiled for choice?"


The man nods and pulls a memo pad and pencil from his pocket. "Allow me to help you narrow the field. I will ask you a few questions, to determine your character, yes?"

"Very well," you reply.

"Firstly, describe your home to me. Where do you live?"

"A penthouse in the financial district."
"We call it The Fun Factory."
"An abandoned, graffiti-covered warehouse."
"A loft above an art gallery."

The gaunt man nods and fills in a small black circle on his memo pad. "Next: although I can hear your voice perfectly well for myself, I would like you tell me, in your own words, how it sounds."

"An angry growl promising impending violence."
"A flirty, seductive, vaguely European accent."
"A gibbering, a raving, a manic giggle."
"Terse. Authoritarian. Businesslike."

He nods and fills in another little black circle. "I see. And your musical preferences? What do you dance to?"

"Mozart concertos."
"The Clash."
"The sound of glass breaking."
"I have no time for such frivolities."

Another little black dot is added to the memo pad. "And when you are not flying with the wings of a bat -- assuming you possess such an ability, as not all of your kind do -- how do you travel? What is your favorite mode of transportation?"

"Horse-drawn carriage."
"Chauffeur-driven limousine."
"I push myself around in a wheelbarrow."
"I tuned my motorcycle for maximum noise."

Another nod, another little black dot. "And finally, please complete this sentence: 'I do not drink... what?"

Blood. No, wait, yeah I do.

Occurs as a sub-adventure of Interview With You.


  • Each answer will give a point to a vampire clan. After all 5 questions, you will be assigned to the highest scoring clan. Here's a guide.
Clan/Question 1 2 3 4 5
Brouhaha warehouse growl The Clash motorcycle lager
Malkovitch Fun Factory giggle glass breaking wheelbarrow blood
Torremolinos loft flirty Mozart carriage absinthe
Ventrilo penthouse terse no time limo espresso


  • Normally, vampires do not drink... wine.
  • The clan names used here are parodies of clan names from Vampire: The Masquerade: Toreador, Brujah, Malkavian, and Ventrue.
    • The shopkeeper himself may be a reference to clan Nosferatu (and their lack of an "Appearance" stat).