Gift-a-pult Messages (O-Z)

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The gift-a-pult allows various gift items to be used in combat. Each item's combat message is preceded with "You load the <item> into the gift-a-pult and pull the trigger." Stuffed items are found on their own page.

Contents

P

Brittleshield.gif
Like all peanut brittle, when it hits your opponent it shatters into razor-sharp shards that slice <it> for 1068 damage.
Daquiri.gif
The fly takes flight from the drink and in midair is eaten by a spider, which is eaten by a bird, which is eaten by a cat, which is eaten by a dog, which is eaten by a cow, which squashes <it> for X damage.
Massager.gif
It gives your opponent a massage that is perhaps a little too personal, doling out X damage.
Cake2.gif
Happy 57 damage to you, happy 57 damage to you, happy 57 damage, dear opponent, happy 57 damage to you.
Persmug.gif
It mugs your opponent for X damage.
Groucho.gif
As the disguise flies through the air, a pet rock soars in from nowhere, equips the disguise, then smashes into him for 11 damage.
Monocle.gif
A pet rock flies in from out of nowhere and equips the disguise, then bashes into him for 10 damage.
Pl alielf.gif
You load the plush alielf into the gift-a-pult and pull the trigger. Its representation of the horrors of the universe frightens him for 118 damage.
Pl alihamster.gif
You load the plush alien hamsterpus into the gift-a-pult and pull the trigger. Some of the moon dust it's stuffed with leaks out on him, irradiating him for 518 damage.
Pl dogcat.gif
You load the plush dogcat into the gift-a-pult and pull the trigger. The dog head hits first, then the cat head hits, and altogether it does 156 damage.
Pl ferelf.gif
You load the plush ferrelf into the gift-a-pult and pull the trigger. It poings at him for 328 damage.
Pl hamsterpus.gif
You load the plush hamsterpus into the gift-a-pult and pull the trigger. The wire-backed plush tentacles flail, hitting him for 218 damage.
Pl elephant.gif
You load the plush mutated alielephant into the gift-a-pult and pull the trigger. It lands on top of him, crushing him for 1087 damage, and presumably scarring him for life as well.
Pl mutalien.gif
You load the plush mutated alielf into the gift-a-pult and pull the trigger. The little spring-loaded second set of jaws in each head fire, hitting him for 437 damage.
Cactus.gif
Approximately 2 quills lodge in his sensitive flesh. If you were fighting two instances of him, he 'd be a prickly pair.
Fern.gif
The fronds smack him for 24 damage, and with fronds like these, who needs terrible puns?
Chamflute.gif
The fly takes flight from the drink and in midair is eaten by a spider, which is eaten by a bird, which is eaten by a cat, which is eaten by a dog, which is eaten by a cow, which squashes <it> for X damage.
Dough.gif
Your opponent inhales it, turns green, and coughs up 115 damage.

R

Stuffhip.gif
Its dreadlocks whip him for 105 damage, to say nothing of its smell.
Ratbal.gif
The balloon pops next to him, and it turns out it was filled with plague-inducing gas. Ironic! The gas does 1165-1214 damage.
Stripesweater.gif
A glove full of knives pops out of the sweater and slices <it> for X damage.
Redbal.gif
The red balloon goes by. A super-high-tech jet fighter spots it and fires on it, also strafing <it> for 12206 damage.
Bbgun.gif
It goes off in mid-air and shoots one of your opponent's eyes out, also doing X damage.
Heartright.gif
The chain lands around his neck, and the cheap metal gives him a rash for %dmg damage.
Martini.gif
The fly takes flight from the drink and in midair is eaten by a spider, which is eaten by a bird, which is eaten by a cat, which is eaten by a dog, which is eaten by a cow, which squashes him for 11 damage.
Roe.gif
It knocks your opponent down, and sends the chairs and lamps all scattering and doing 10-12 damage. Man, when it picks up speed, get out of its way!
Rubracelet.gif
It gets stuck on one of your opponent'ss' extremities, squeezing it for 10-12 damage. That was probably exactly how Boris would have handled the situation.
Rubracelet.gif
It gets stuck on one of your opponent'ss' extremities, squeezing <it> for 10-12 damage. Jarlsberg probably would have just cast a spell, but you do what you can with what you have.
Rubracelet.gif
It gets stuck on one of your opponent'ss' extremities, squeezing it for 10-12 damage. Sneaky Pete probably would have thrown a projectile from a safe distance, just like you just did!
Rubracelet.gif
It gets stuck on one of your opponent'ss' extremities, squeezing <it> for 10-12 damage. The Naughty Sorceress would have done the same, but with more cleavage and maniacal laughter.

S

Rocks.gif
The fly takes flight from the drink and in midair is eaten by a spider, which is eaten by a bird, which is eaten by a cat, which is eaten by a dog, which is eaten by a cow, which squashes him for 10-12 damage.
Spadeneck.gif
The chain lands around <its> neck, and the cheap metal gives <it> a rash for X damage. Now use 100 of them on every monster in the Kingdom and determine if the damage is constant, or has a modifier.
Fakepiercing.gif
Woah, did you see that zeppelin with the hippo riding it go by? While I was watching that, your eyebrow piercing somehow did 11 damage!
  • Stuffed items are found on their own page.

T

Daquiri.gif
The fly takes flight from the drink and in midair is eaten by a spider, which is eaten by a bird, which is eaten by a cat, which is eaten by a dog, which is eaten by a cow, which squashes <it> for 320 damage.
Taplotus.gif
It untaps itself and catches him off guard, sapping it of 11048 points of energy.
Thefinger.gif
The finger flies through the air and jabs your opponent right in the eye, dealing X damage! Ouch!
Thoughtbal.gif
It gives him the thought that he ought to do 587 damage to his self, so he does.
Tiercake.gif
All three tiers crash into him for 120 damage. Almost as damaging as being married, right fellas? Am I right, there, fellas?
Knightpants.gif
The trousers land on your opponent, suffocating <it> for X damage. Checkmate.
Tulip.gif
The tulip's pot smacks into him, doing half of 52 damage for each of its lips.

U

Urinalcake.gif
<It> is so skeeved out that <it> leaps backwards, landing on something sharp for 10 damage.

V

Heartcake.gif
It stages its own little Valentine's Day massacre, choking him with sickly-sweet frosting for 21018 damage.
Flytrap.gif
The Venus flytrap changes into a Mars flytrap, biting him for 105 damage.
Potion2.gif
Jus de larmes? More like jus de harmes, am I right? Because... it harmed <him>. For 116 damage.

W

Rricecream.gif
Your opponent gets an ice cream headache, the hard way. The 101 damage way.
Cannot be flung
Cannot be flung
Whitebal.gif
It pops right next to him, startling him for 3 damage.
Whoopee.gif
Your opponent accidentally sits on it when it lands, taking 10 embarrassment points.
Chatteeth.gif
They clamp down on a sensitive part of <its> anatomy and squeeze for 12 damage. Someone should write a short story about that.
Nicewatch.gif
The watch has the time of its life giving your opponent the time of their death, smacking him with its minute, hour, second, and eon hands for 336 damage.

X

Xrayspecs.gif
It focuses its rays on your opponent until the radiation does 11 damage.

Y

Snowcone.gif
The snowcone lands anticlimactically on the ground in front of <it>. Then <it> slips on it and falls over, inducing a comedic 12 damage.
Gift-a-pult Combat Messages
A-E F-N O-Z stuffed