EXtreme Orcish snowboarder

EXtreme Orcish snowboarder
Monster ID	1155
Locations	The eXtreme Slope
Hit Points	65
Attack	74
Defense	66
No-Hit	84
Initiative	60
Meat	32-48
Phylum	orc
Elements	sleaze
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	head, arm, leg, torso
Drops eXtreme Bi-Polar Fleece Vest, Mountain Stream soda, snowboarder pants
Bounty	spent handwarmer
Pickpocket	enchanted handwarmer
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting an eXtreme Orcish snowboarder

This is an Orcish frat boy who spends all of his time snowboarding. Instead of going to class. Or being nice.

Hit Message(s):

He snowboards past and chucks a can of cheap beer at your <shoulder>. Oof! Ouch! (sleaze damage)

He snowboards past and whacks you with a frat-paddle. It hurts on so many levels. Ooh! Ugh! Ouch! (sleaze damage)

He looks for something to break, and finds your <nipple>. Ow! Ugh!

He drunkenly snowboards past and vomits on you. Acidic! Ow! Ooh! Ugh! (sleaze damage)

Critical Hit Message:

He snowboards toward you, hits a ramp, does a 540-degree Twisty McChicken Basalt Thundertuck, and smacks you in the head with his board. Man, what a jerk. Eek! Ouch! Eek! Oof! (sleaze damage)

Miss Message(s):

He chucks a can of cheap beer at you, but you dodge.

He tries to frat-paddle you mid-snowboard, but collapses under the weight of too many hyphens.

He shouts "Give me something to break!", then falls over and breaks his arm.

He swerves toward you, but changing directions makes him fall over and he tumbles past you.

Fumble Message:

He swoops down the mountain toward you, but is pulled over by the Snowboard Police. He has to wait while they cite him for a broken taillight and a lack of knees. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You gain 32-48 Meat (average: 40, stdev: 3.65)*

You acquire an item: eXtreme Bi-Polar Fleece Vest (5.1% chance)*

You acquire an item: Mountain Stream soda (28.9% chance)*

You acquire an item: snowboarder pants (11.0% chance)*

• If you are on the appropriate bounty hunt:

You acquire a bounty item: spent handwarmer

(X of 13 found)

You gain 18-19 <substat>.

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Occurs at The eXtreme Slope.

Notes

• Shirt will not drop unless you have the Torso Awaregness skill.
• Using Pickpocket on this monster may yield an enchanted handwarmer from about 5% of pickpocket attempts.

References

• "Give me something to break" may be from the lyrics to the Limp Bizkit song "Break Stuff."
• Fumble message about being "pulled over by the Snowboard Police ... for broken taillights and lack of knees" is from one of Eddie Izzard's stand up routines.