Damned dirty ape

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Damned dirty ape
Monster ID 1642
Locations The Post-Mall
Hit Points 75% of Defense
Attack Player's Moxie+10
Defense Player's Muscle+10
Initiative 0
Meat None
Phylum beast
Elements stench
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso
tarnished bottlecap, unused soap
Manuel filthy monkey head
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
damned dirty ape You're fighting a damned dirty ape

In the horrible dystopian future, apes have taken over the planet. I don't know why these apes think they're going to be any better at running the planet than that last group of apes were, but here they are. I guess at least there's the fact that they solve disputes by throwing literal feces at each other, instead of figurative feces in the form of lawsuits and bombs. So they're more honest, I guess?

Hit Message(s):

It pulls out a commemorative statuette of Liberty and beans you in the head with it. Oof! Ooh! Argh! Argh! Ugh! Oof!

Miss Message(s):

It gets distracted by a nearby banana and fails to hit you.

After Combat

Merkinsoap.gifYou acquire an item: unused soap (?% chance)*
Bottlecap.gifYou acquire an item: tarnished bottlecap (?% chance)*

Occurs at The Post-Mall.


  • This monster has no special messages for crits or fumbles; instead it displays its only hit and miss message.