A River Runs Through It (Yield)
You stagger around drunkenly, trying desperately to work up enough spit to swallow, or perhaps throw up. It could go either way at this point. Your tongue feels like a strip of leather glued to the roof of your mouth. You're really, really thirsty, is what I'm getting at, here.
You see, with great relief, a night-darkened river running through the field ahead of you. It seems to have a series of little yellow rectangular flowers floating down the middle of it, but you can't be too sure, since your vision keeps doubling. You stagger down to the river, intent on drinking your fill.
You kneel down in front of the river, which still looks pitch black, even up close. As you bend to drink, you see an ominous figure watching you just a little way up the river's bank. He looks to be really, really skinny, and is either wearing a hat or has the world's least fortunate haircut -- in sillhouette, his head looks like an upside-down triangle.
"Hey," you say, forcing the words out of your dry mouth. "Hey, I'm trying to drink here. What are you looking at?" The figure doesn't reply. "I said, what are you looking at?" The figure just stands stock still, mocking you with his silence. He doesn't even nod his triangular head at you.
"Listen, freak," you say, "if you don't stop staring at me, I'm going to give you the headbutt of your life!"
You run over and rear back, snapping your head forward to collide with the skinny stranger's triangular noggin.
The last thing you hear before blessed unconsciousness washes over you is a resounding CLAAANG!.
- Players who encountered this adventure during SSPD XXIII woke up the next day with a yield shield in their possession.
- The title of this adventure references a 1992 film directed by Robert Redford.