1335 HaXx0r

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1335 HaXx0r
Monster ID 141
Locations The Valley of Rof L'm Fao
Hit Points 71
Attack 81
Defense 72
No-Hit 91
Initiative 50
Meat 24-36
Phylum dude
Elements bad spelling
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso
Drops
1337 7r0uZ0RZ, 334 scroll, Dyspepsi-Cola
Accordion Accordion of Jordion
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
1335 HaXx0r You're fighting a 1335 HaXx0r

Someday, this HaXx0r will be truly 1337, but right now he's got a ways to go.

Hit Message(s):

He Pwnz0r2z j00 in teh <ear>. Ow! Ow! (bad spelling damage)

He HaXx0rz j00r <arse>. OMG! Ouch! Oof! (bad spelling damage)

He shouts, "Leeeerooooy Jeeenkins!" and runs at you, flailing wildly. Some of the punches actually connect, to both of your surprise. Ooh! Ugh!

He does a DDoS attack on your <arm>. It's surprisingly painful. Ow! Eek!

He hacks through a nearby wall. Okay, actually he just throws you through a nearby wall. Ugh! Eek!

With a deafening w000t, he hacks your <head> clean off. Ugh! Eek!

Critical Hit Message:

He decides to put his 1335 skills to rest and just beat you over the head with the little sign he's carrying. Turns out that's way more effective. Argh! Ow!

Miss Message(s):

He tries to HaxX0r j00 in the <leg>, but has no skillz. Pwnt!

He tries to HaXx0riz2 j00, but isn't 1337 e nuff.

He tries to haxx0r your <bung> off, but lacks the skills.

He tries to DDoS your <shins>, but you DDon't feel it.

He tries to do some wallhaxxx, but gets stuck halfway through and glitches out.

He shouts, "Leeeroooy Jeeenkins!" and runs at you, then past you, then off into the distance. You wait a second for him to come back.

Fumble Message:

He tries to pull off some really elaborate, 1337 haxx0rization on you. The more he tries to haxx0r, though, the more it's clear he's just not 1337 yet. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Monster-Specific Hit Message:

You hit the HaXx0r in his baXx0r for X damage. SMACK! SPLAT! WHAMMO!
Meat.gifYou gain 24-36 Meat. (average: 30, stdev: 2.83)*
Whitepants.gifYou acquire an item: 1337 7r0uZ0RZ (14.8% chance)*
Scroll2.gifYou acquire an item: 334 scroll (20.4% chance)*
Dyspepsi.gifYou acquire an item: Dyspepsi-Cola (70.3% chance)*
You gain 20.25 <substat>.

Occurs at The Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm.

Notes

  • If you are an Accordion Thief and haven't stolen an accordion from this monster today, this text is added to the introduction:
    You see a very expensive-looking accordion discarded carelessly at your opponent's feet.
  • If you then cast Steal Accordion:
    He catches you stealing the accordion. "Eh," he says, "no biggie."
    Acc17.gifYou acquire an item: Accordion of Jordion

References

  • This monster makes especially heavy use of Elitespeak, a type of internet slang. This type of slang is frequently associated with the popular image of computer hackers. Especially notable in this instance:
    • haxx0r = hack or hacker
    • 1337 = 'Leet' (as in an elite hacker)
  • The third hit message refers to the Leeroy Jenkins meme.