Zombo

Zombo
Monster ID	697
Locations	The Ancient Hobo Burial Ground: Welcome To You!
Hit Points	10000
Attack	500
Defense	450
No-Hit	510
Initiative	200
Meat	None
Phylum	undead
Elements	spooky
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	arm, leg, head, torso
Drops Massive Cracked Skull, Prelude of Precision, voodoo snuff, Zombo's empty eye, Zombo's skullcap, Zombo's shield, Zombo's shoulder blade, Zombo's grievous greaves, Zombo's skull ring
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting Zombo

You trudge down, down, down the spiral staircase into the catacomb to find yourself in a circular chamber lined with neatly-stacked piles of ancient hobo bones. On a throne in the center of the room sits a very large hobo wearing what seems to be a suit of armor made out of bones.

"Welcome to Zombo's 'comb." he says, in a booming voice.

You sit for a moment, waiting for something interesting to happen.

"This... is Zombo's 'comb." he continues.

"Uhh..."

"Welcome."

"I... don't get it, exactly..." you say.

"This is Zombo's 'comb. Welcome to Zombo's 'comb!" he replies.

"But... what..."

"You can do anything at Zombo's 'comb," he goes on, "anything at all."

"Like... what?"

"The only limit... is yourself."

"Hey, you take that back!" you say, your ire aroused.

"Welcome to Zombo's 'comb." he says, oblivious to your protest.

"Seriously, man. I'm not gonna take that kind of crap from you."

"Welcome to Zombo's 'comb." he repeats.

At this point, you've pretty much had it. You charge.

Hit Message(s):

"Welcome... to Zombo's 'comb." he says, as he hits you in the head with an immense femur. Eek! Ooh! Eek! Argh! Ouch! Ooh!

"You can do anything at Zombo's 'comb," he says, and then demonstrates one of the things you can do, which is to get hit in the <shoulder> with a legbone. Oof! Ow! Eek! Oof! Ooh! Argh!

"This... is Zombo's 'comb," he says, as he throws a skull at your <bung>. Ooh! Argh! Ow! Eek! Argh! Oof! (spooky damage)

"The infinite is possible at Zombo's 'comb," he says, staring at you. You contemplate the infinite for a little while, and it scares you. Argh! Ouch! Ugh! Ugh! Oof! Eek! (spooky damage)

Critical Hit Message:

His booming voice finally dislodges some of the stones in the ceiling overhead, which come crashing down on you. Apparently, one of the things you can do at Zombo's 'comb is get a concussion. Ow! Ouch! Argh! Eek! Eek! Ooh! Ooh! Ugh! Oof! Oof!

Miss Message(s):

He starts to hit you, but stops before he gets to you and says "Welcome... to Zombo's 'comb."

"You can do anything at Zombo's 'comb," he says, throwing a legbone at you. Apparently one of the things you can do here is dodging a legbone.

"This... is Zombo's 'comb," he says, as he throws a skull at you. "This... is me dodging that skull," you reply.

"The infinite is possible at Zombo's 'comb," he says, but he's only jesting.

Fumble Message:

not known

Special Move(s):

Zombo flips out, and the aura of terror in the room thickens.

---

After Combat

You acquire an item: Prelude of Precision (???% chance)*

You acquire 1-10 cans of voodoo snuff

An item drops: Zombo's grievous greaves

(This item goes to your clan's basement, and may be distributed to anyone who participated in this Clan Dungeon.) or

An item drops: Zombo's shield

(This item goes to your clan's basement, and may be distributed to anyone who participated in this Clan Dungeon.) or

An item drops: Zombo's skullcap

(This item goes to your clan's basement, and may be distributed to anyone who participated in this Clan Dungeon.)

An item drops: Zombo's empty eye (20% chance)*

(This item goes to your clan's basement, and may be distributed to anyone who participated in this Clan Dungeon.)

An item drops: Zombo's shoulder blade (20% chance)*

(This item goes to your clan's basement, and may be distributed to anyone who participated in this Clan Dungeon.)

An item drops: Zombo's skull ring (20% chance)*

(This item goes to your clan's basement, and may be distributed to anyone who participated in this Clan Dungeon.)

You acquire a clan trophy:

Massive Cracked Skull

---

Occurs at The Ancient Hobo Burial Ground.

Notes

• All elemental damage is reduced to 1; hot and stench are subsequently doubled to 2.
• The first three hits Zombo lands will unequip the player's pants, hat, and shirt.

  Zombo makes a face at you -- a face so terrifying that you're scared right out of your pants.

  Zombo makes a face at you -- a face so terrifying that your hat flies off with the force of your scream.

  Zombo makes a face at you -- a face so terrifying that you jump right out of your shirt!

• Each round of combat, being in Zombo's 'comb will deal damage:

  The 'comb radiates an aura of intense spookiness. You shudder. (spooky damage)

• Hobopolis bosses are immune to effects which would cause them to be unable to act over multiple rounds, such as entangling noodles, chloroform rags, and Richard's Grenades.
• Zombo has a soft damage cap, after which a special damage reduction is applied. If an attack would do no more than 500 damage, then no damage reduction is applied. Otherwise, if x is the base damage done, then the actual damage Zombo takes is 500+floor((x-500)^.65). This formula is applied to any type of damage and to any source of damage.
• The number of cans of voodoo snuff dropped increases with item drop bonuses at 1 for 100%. That is, you will receive floor(item/100) cans.
  • A maximum of 10 cans can drop.
• Zombo will always drop exactly 1 piece of his outfit.
• The other 3 drops have a 20% chance of dropping, unaffected by +item.
• This monster cannot be copied.

History

• Prior to October 27, 2021, there was no limit to how many cans of voodoo snuff you could obtain in one fight.

References

• Zombo's repetitive speech is a reference to the website Zombo.com, which does nothing but speak similar phrases.
  • One of Zombo's miss messages is this combined with a riff on David Foster Wallace's 1996 encyclopedic novel Infinite Jest.

Hobopolis
Advanced Mechanics — A Maze of Sewer Tunnels — Richard's Redoubt — Shopping — Hobo Code
Hobopolis Town Square Hodgman, The Hoboverlord
Burnbarrel Blvd. Ol' Scratch	Exposure Esplanade Frosty	The Heap Oscus	The Ancient Hobo Burial Ground Zombo	The Purple Light District Chester