Zombie chef

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Zombie chef
Monster ID 378
Locations The Haunted Kitchen
Hit Points 20
Attack 22
Defense 19
No-Hit 15
Initiative 50
Meat 6-8
Phylum undead
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso
bottle of cooking sherry, chef's hat, fricasseed brains, stale baguette
Manuel zombie hollandaise
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
zombie chef You're fighting a zombie chef

I know what you're thinking: "Zombie chef, eh? I bet he only knows how to cook brains." Well, Mr. or Ms. Smartypants, I'll have you know that this particular zombie chef was awarded the Diplôme de Cuisine from Le Cordon Bleu Academie of Loathing, and he is a master of all manner of gourmet delicacies. The fact that everything he serves is brains is a complete coincidence.

Hit Message(s):

He gives your <nipple> a gouda scrape with a cheese grater. Edam it! Ugh! Oof!

Critical Hit Message:

He cooks you up a large helping of brutality, with a side-order of pain. And a parsley garnish. Ooh! Ugh!

Miss Message(s):

He tries to attack you with a cheese grater, but you stun him with a terrible pun about gorgonzola.

Fumble Message:

He starts to serve you up with a side of fava beans and a nice Chianti, but you point out how totally overused that reference is. He gets a little miffed. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 6-8 Meat (average: 7, stdev: 0.71)*
Beerbottle.gifYou acquire an item: bottle of cooking sherry (30.5% chance)*
Chefhat.gifYou acquire an item: chef's hat (5.2% chance)*
Chorizo.gifYou acquire an item: fricasseed brains (20.1% chance)*
Baguette.gifYou acquire an item: stale baguette (30.8% chance)*
Gravy.gifYou acquire an item: zombie hollandaise (10% chance)*
You gain 1 <substat>.

Occurs at The Haunted Kitchen.


  • In the film The Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal Lecter mentions that he once ate the liver of a census taker "with some fava beans and a nice Chianti."