X Bottles of Beer on a Golem

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As you start to enter this room, you immediately sense beer. As you finish entering it, you gasp (gasp!) as you realize that the beer you sense is in the form of X Bottles of Beer on a Golem...

Take X Down (1)

X Bottles of Beer on a Golem
Monster ID 241
Locations Fernswarthy's Basement
Hit Points (Scales as ceiling(1.7*ceiling(basementlevel1.4)))
Attack (Scales as 2*ceiling(basementlevel1.4))
Defense (Scales as attack)
Initiative 70
Meat None
Phylum construct
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, leg, shelf, torso
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
X Bottles of Beer on a Golem You're fighting X Bottles of Beer on a Golem

This is a golem that appears to be made out of a wall, with rows and rows of shelves on it. On the shelves sit X bottles of beer. It lurches toward you, bent on taking you down and passing you around.

Hit Message(s):

The golem shakes up one of the bottles and sprays some of its contents into your eye. Ouch! Ooh! Oof! Oof!

The Golem takes one down and hits you in the <leg> with it. Oof! Argh! Ugh! Ugh!

Critical Hit Message:

The golem hands you a beer. You try to open it, but it turns out that it's not actually a twist-off. You hurt your hand really, really badly. Ow! Ouch! Ouch! Ow!

Miss Message(s):

The golem shakes up one of the bottles and tries to spray you with it, but you duck away, and the beer slides off you like beer off a guy who ducked's back.

The golem takes one down and attempts to hit you in the <bung> with it, but misses.

Fumble Message:

The golem shambles toward you, but one of the bottles happens to fall, and it's too shaken up to actually attack you. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

When you attempt to cast a spell:

The golem sees you preparing to cast a spell, removes one of the bottles from its body, shakes it up, and hoses you down with beer before you can finish casting. Blech.

You gain Y <substat>.

Occurs at Fernswarthy's Basement.


  • This monster blocks spells a good portion of the time, but they do have a small chance of going through.
  • Can also delay a stuffed mortar shell from hitting, even if it has been cast ie. Cast on round 1, blocked on Round 2, hits on round 3.
  • This blocking ability does not work against Combat Items, so they are a good choice in defeating it.
  • Non-spell skills are also never blocked; some useful examples which do large damage without requiring you to outstat the monster include Bawdy Refrain and Turtleini.
  • Your familiar will not act on any round where you attempt to cast a spell and are blocked.
  • X is a number that starts at 99 and is decreased by 1 each time you face a new golem. After X gets to zero, the numbers begin to go negative.
  • When X is one the name of the monster is the ungrammatical '1 Bottles of Beer on a Golem'.
  • Stats gained from this adventure are based on your level in the basement.
  • You can fight it for 50 rounds, instead of the usual 30.
  • This monster cannot be copied.