XXX pr0n

From TheKolWiki
Jump to: navigation, search


XXX pr0n
Monster ID 138
Locations The Valley of Rof L'm Fao
Hit Points 68
Attack 75
Defense 67
No-Hit 85
Initiative 60
Meat 24-36
Phylum beast
Elements bad spelling
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, leg, torso
Drops
f3d0r4, lowercase N, pr0n legs
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
XXX pr0n You're fighting an XXX pr0n

This is a shellfish who has been sucked into the seamy underbelly of adult marine life entertainment. You find yourself hoping his trench coat stays closed.

Hit Message(s):

He smacks you with his fishy tail. Ick. Ooh! Eek!

He pr0ds you with his many spiny legs. *Shudder.* Oof! Ouch! (bad spelling damage)

He opens his trenchcoat and exposes you to the horror that is raw XXX pr0n. Squishy. Ooh! Ugh! (sleaze damage)

He smacks you with his 1337 f3d0r4. You feel p4!n. Ugh! Argh! Ow! Ow! (bad spelling damage)

He whips you with his eye-stalks. Man, that's gross. Ugh! Argh! Ugh! Argh!

He crawls all over you with his spiny legs. Ewwww. Ugh! Ooh! Eek! Oof! (bad spelling damage)?

He smacks you with his 1337 skills. But it's not the 1337, it's the tumidity. Ow! Oof! Ouch! Ugh! (sleaze damage)

Critical Hit Message:

He tramples you with his spiny little legs, whips you with his eye-stalks, and smacks you with his tail. Either you've just been beaten up or propositioned -- you're not sure which. Oof! Ugh! Ooh! Ouch! (sleaze damage)

Miss Message(s):

He starts to smack you with his fishy tail, but you distract him with a fishy tale.

He tries to pr0d you in the <forehead>, but you d0dg3.

He starts to open his trenchcoat, but you smack him down before he can show off his goods. Or evils, as it were.

He tries to smack you with his f3d0r4, but you dodge like 1nd14n4 j0n3z.

He tries to whip you with his eye-stalks, but you quickly turn. As does your stomach.

He tries to crawl on you with his spiny legs, but you quickly leg it away.

Fumble Message:

He opens his trenchcoat wide, but you mock his squishy fishy bits. He collapses in a corner and starts crying. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 24-38 Meat (average: 30.2, stdev: 2.9)*
Pimphat.gifYou acquire an item: f3d0r4 (14.4% chance)*
Lowercasen.gifYou acquire an item: lowercase N (30.0% chance)*
Pr0nlegs.gifYou acquire an item: pr0n legs (42.4% chance)*
You gain 18.75 <substat>.

Occurs at The Valley of Rof L'm Fao.

References

  • "Pr0n", pronounced as "prawn", is a common deliberate misspelling of "porn"; most of the text for this combat alludes to pornography.
  • The combat message "But it's not the 1337, it's the tumidity", is a riff on the well-known cliche, "It's not the heat, it's the humidity."