The snowman begins each day with a head, base, and one body section. Each time you win against the snowman, another body section is added to the stack for the next fight, giving the snowman increased stats and special abilities. These remain fairly consistent each time you fight the snowman that day, but are reset at rollover. The snowman for tournament mode is different from the one for muscle, mystically or moxie modes.
|| This makes the snowman more relatable as an opponent.
| Rocket Booster
|| Gives the snowman 30% Combat Initiative.
| Ice Ball
|| Increases the snowman's Maximum HP.
| Giant Boulder
|| Increases the snowman's Defense.
| Huge Snowball
|| Limits all stats to 200 (Effect: Snowballed)|
You are intimidated by the snowman's huge snowball.
| Blood Vacuum
|| Reduces your Maximum HP by 50% at the beginning of the fight. (Effect: Half-Blooded)|
The hose from the snowman's blood vacuum attaches to your belly button and sucks out half of your blood.
| Tesla Accumulator
|| Reduces your Maximum MP by 50% at the beginning of the fight. (Effect: Half-Drained)|
The snowman's Tesla Accumulator hums loudly as it wirelessly extracts half of the MP from your body.
| Spring-Loaded Boxing Gloves
|| Reduces your stats by 100 at the beginning of the fight. (Effect: Bruised)|
The snowman beats every inch of you with its spring-loaded boxing gloves.
| Lullaby Emitter
|| Reduces your Muscle by 50% at the beginning of the fight. (Effect: Relaxed Muscles, multiple parts stack)|
The snowman plays a relaxing lullaby in your general direction.
|| Reduces your Mysticality by 50% at the beginning of the fight. (Effect: Hypnotized, multiple parts stack)|
The snowman hypnotizes you with swirling spirals!
| Malfunctioning Tonsorial Rig
|| Reduces your Moxie by 50% at the beginning of the fight. (Effect: Bad Haircut, multiple parts stack)|
The snowman's malfunctioning tonsorial rig gives you a terrible haircut.
| Reinforced Wooden Ball
|| Gives the snowman 75% resistance to deleveling.
|| Makes the snowman immune to staggering.|
Undaunted, the snowman continues to function normally.
| Atomic Batteries
|| Makes the snowman immune to stunning.|
Undaunted, the snowman continues to function normally.
| Tennis Racket
|| Prevents you from using combat items.
| Bullwhip and Chair
|| Prevents your familiar from acting.
| Chrome Plate
|| Gives the snowman 10% resistance to spells.
| Reinforced Steel Ball
|| Gives the snowman 10% resistance to Physical damage.
| Asbestos Scarf
|| Gives the snowman 50% resistance to Cold damage.
| Space Heater
|| Gives the snowman 50% resistance to Hot damage.
| Censor Bar
|| Gives the snowman 50% resistance to Sleaze damage.
| Opaque Sunglasses
|| Gives the snowman 50% resistance to Spooky damage.
| Stainless Steel Carrot
|| Gives the snowman 50% resistance to Stench damage.
| Precision Manipulation Chassis
|| Lets the snowman penetrate 50 points of Damage Absorption.
| Industrial Snow Machine
|| Lets the snowman penetrate 5 levels of Cold Resistance.
| Omnidirectional Blowtorch Assembly
|| Lets the snowman penetrate 5 levels of Hot Resistance.
| X-Ray Specs
|| Lets the snowman penetrate 5 levels of Sleaze Resistance.
| Evil Eye
|| Lets the snowman penetrate 5 levels of Spooky Resistance.
| Jumbo Air Freshener
|| Lets the snowman penetrate 5 levels of Stench Resistance.
| Targeting Computer
|| Increases the damage of the snowman's attacks.
| High-Speed Broom
|| Deals Physical damage each round.|
The snowman uses his high-speed broom to literally sweep you off your feet.
The snowman uses his broom to sweep all the skin off of your <nipple>.
The snowman whips his broom around, hitting you in the back of the <knee>.
The snowman uses his broom to pummel you mercilessly. Frankly, I think that's the only way he knows how to pummel someone.
The snowman whaps you in the <face> with his broom several times.
The snowman hits you with his broom. It must be sweeps week.
| Blood Extractor
|| Drains your HP and heals the snowman each round.|
Your <giblets> shrivels up as the snowman steals all the blood out of it for himself.
The snowman drains some of your blood and squirts it into himself, making a big gross red spot.
Enemy regains some HP
The snowman stabs you with a hypodermic needle and steals some of your blood. I'm not sure how human blood helps a snowman, but...
The snowman sucks some of your blood out with a needle, and squirts it on himself like a gross meat-flavored snocone.
The snowman syringes a bunch of blood out of your <skull> and injects it into himself.
| Cattle Prod
|| Deals physical damage and drains some of your MP each round.|
The snowman jabs you with a cattle prod, which is not a traditional kung-fu weapon but what are you going to do about it?
The snowman electrocutes your <calf> with his cattle prod.
The snowman prods you with his cattle poke. Wait... well, whatever.
The snowman's cattle prod sends like a bazillion volts right into your <shins>.
The snowman thinks your <thigh> is cute. Electro-cute.
| Rapid-Fire Dart Battery
|| Deals multiple sources of Physical damage each round.|
The snowman shoots you in the <giblets> with a dart. How annoying!
"Pew pew!" says the snowman, as he shoots you with one of his darts.
Oops! Dart in your <groin>!
The snowman walks up to you, pulls a dart out of his dart battery, and stabs you in the <head> with it.
The snowman shoots a dart at you, and it hits you in <place>. No, wait, I read that wrong. The <nipple>.
Hey, look! There's a dart sticking out of your <bung>!
A dart flies out of the snowman's battery and hits you in the <arse>!
A dart flies out of the snowman's dart battery and skewers your <nipple>.
You should probably do something about that dart in your <lower back>.
The snowman draws a little bullseye on your <forehead> and shoots a dart at it.
The snowman launches a dart at your <lower back>, and pops it.
| Dual Icicle Knives
|| Deals Cold damage each round.|
The snowman sticks an icicle right in your <solar plexus> and it's really cold and not fun at all.
The snowman pokes you several times with his icicle knives, in an unpleasant fashion.
The snowman slices you up with his icicle knives. Well, not really 'slices', because they don't have cutting edges, but I'm trying not to use 'stabs' in every single one of these messages.
The snowman stabs you in the <shins> with an icicle, and your <kidney> freezes and falls off.
The snowman stabs you in the <neck> with an icicle, and now your <foot> is so cold, so very cold.
The snowman stabs you with an icicle, and your <ear> shatters. You should've been wearing your <arm>-mittens.
| Professional-Strength Hair Dryer
|| Deals Hot damage each round.|
The snowman blasts you with a very large and (fortunately for him) very precise hairdryer.
The snowman blasts you with a giant hairdryer, held at arm's length.
The snowman points a giant hairdryer at you, and the smell of delicious frying bacon fills the room. Oh wait...
The snowman uses his giant hairdryer to give you a permanent. A permanent third-degree burn on your <arse>.
The snowman blasts a professional-strength hairdryer at your <bung>, which begins to melt.
| Creepy Shrunken Head
|| Deals Spooky damage each round.|
Something taps you on the shoulder, and when you look around, the snowman's spooky shrunken head is RIGHT THERE. Aah!
The snowman bonks you in the <groin> with his spooky shrunken head.
The snowman's spooky shrunken head bites you on the <face>!
The snowman's shrunken head makes a noise like a <animal> being strangled. Brr.
The snowman's spooky shrunken head steals part of your soul! Or something!
The snowman's spooky shrunken head stares into your eyes. You feel ill.
| Grease Bucket
|| Deals Sleaze damage each round.|
The snowman pours rancid grease on your <shoulder>.
The snowman grabs your <thigh> and dunks it in lukewarm grease.
The snowman dumps his bucket of rancid grease all over you. Don't worry though, he's got another one.
The snowman dribbles lukewarm grease across your <throat>.
The snowman slowly rubs his grease-bucket against your <forehead>.
| Dual Garbage Bags
|| Deals Stench damage each round.|
The snowman pummels you mercilessly with his disgusting garbage bags.
The snowman knocks you to the ground with a sack of stinking trash.
The snowman crushes you between two bags of stinking garbage!
The snowman smashes you right in the <arse> with a bag of smelly garbage!
The snowman catches your <shins> between his filthy garbage bags!
The snowman waves a bag of stinking garbage right under your <giblets>!
|| This part stops the functional parts of the snowman from touching the ground.