Writing desk

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Writing desk
Monster ID 405
Locations The Haunted Library
Hit Points 28
Attack 27
Defense 27
Initiative 50
Meat None
Phylum construct
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts drawer, handle, leg, top
disintegrating quill pen, inkwell, snifter of thoroughly aged brandy
Quest Lady Spookyraven's necklace
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
writing desk You're fighting a writing desk

In the Library, you come across one of Lord Spookyraven's writing desks. How did Lord Spookyraven like his writing desk? He liked it just fine, thanks for asking!

Some of the ancient forbidden unspeakable evil that he studied must've rubbed off on this desk, though, because it's moving, growling, and trying to bite you in a way that ordinary writing desks hardly ever do.

Hit Message(s):

An inkwell flies out of one of the desk's drawers and hits you in the <kidney>. Pain and stain! A double whammy. Ooh! Ow! Ugh! Oof!

It opens one of its drawers really quickly and hits you in the <groin>. Ugh! Ouch! Ouch! Ooh!

It tramples you with its four hard wooden legs. Ow! Ooh! Argh! Ooh!

Critical Hit Message:

A fountain pen flies out of one of the desk's drawers and hits you right in the eye. Here's jagged metal in your eye! Argh! Oof! Argh! Ooh!

Miss Message(s):

One of the desk's drawers open, and the stationery it contains becomes decidedly mobile as it rises and whirls toward you. You avoid a serious papercut by the narrowest of margins.

One of its drawers opens, and a handful of quill pens flies at you, tips first. You nimbly dance out of the way, leaving the desk's feathers ruffled.

It tries to crush you against a bookshelf, but you grab a nearby ladder and swing out of the way. Stylish!

Fumble Message:

The desk rocks back and forth on its wooden legs for a while, but then just falls over. Huh. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Quillpen.gifYou acquire an item: disintegrating quill pen (15.2% chance)*
Inkwell.gifYou acquire an item: inkwell (30.0% chance)*
Snifter.gifYou acquire an item: snifter of thoroughly aged brandy (28.1% chance)*
You gain 13-14 <substat>.

Occurs at The Haunted Library.


  • Killing desks progresses towards finding Lady Spookyraven's necklace, with the following message:
    You open all of the drawers in the now-still desk, but don't find any necklaces.
  • The necklace will drop from the fifth writing desk, with the message:
    You open one of the drawers of the desk, and find what you've been looking for -- a moderately expensive necklace with a card attached reading "For My Luscious Rebecca". Hmm. You're pretty sure Lady Spookyraven's name wasn't Rebecca...
Srnecklace.gifYou acquire an item: Lady Spookyraven's necklace



  • The question "How did Lord Spookyraven like his writing desk?" is a play on "Why is a raven like a writing desk?," a riddle (with no answer) from the famous children's book Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.
  • "Here's jagged metal in your eye" is a reference to an old idiom/toast, "Here's mud in your eye."