Working Holiday
The boss must've just walked through here, because all of the pygmies are pretending to pay a lot of attention to their work right now. This leaves no attention to them to pay to you.
Looks like you've got the run of the place. What would you like to do?
| Knock on the boss's office door |
Without the McClusky file (complete)
There's no way the boss is gonna let you in there without the McClusky file.
With the McClusky file (complete)
ancient protector spirit  -- (edit metadata)
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After defeating the ancient protector spirit:
The boss's office is empty. You would know that if you had been paying attention when you destroyed him.
| Raid the supply cabinet |
You grab some office supplies.
- First time:
 | You acquire an item: boring binder clip |
- Subsequent times, one of:
 | You acquire an item: all-purpose cleaner |
 | You acquire an item: short calculator |
 | You acquire an item: briefcase |
 | You acquire an item: adder |
| Pick a fight with a cubicle drone |
You peek into one of the office cubicles, where a bored-looking pygmy is going over some files. "Hey," you say, gesturing at his candy jar, "can I have a jellybean?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah. Sure."
You stick your entire fist in the jar and rummage around in the jellybeans, eventually pulling out a black one, which you carefully balance on the 'F1' key on the pygmy's keyboard. Then you repeat the process, jamming your hand in the candy, stirring it around, and pulling out a single black jellybean and placing it on 'F2'. You get to 'F4' before the pygmy recovers from his dumbfoundedness and asks what the hell you're doing.
"I don't like the black ones," you reply.
"Well don't pull them all out and put them on my keyboard!" he yells.
"Oh, sorry." You pick one up, and put it in your mouth. Then you spit it out into the candy jar. "Yeah, nope, I really don't like the black ones."
The pygmy attacks you.
or:
"Hey buddy! What'cha working on?" you say loudly and cheerfully, as you pop your head up over the top of a cubicle wall.
"Aaahh!" replies the pygmy accountant sitting in the cubicle, nearly falling out of his chair in surprise.
"Say, is that minesweeper you're playing there?" you ask, even more loudly. The pygmy starts waving frantically at you and making shushing noises. "Man, your top score is like seventeen! You're terrible at minesweeper!"
"Arrrgh! Shut up!"
or:
You peek into one of the office cubicles, where a pygmy accountant is entering numbers into a complicated-looking spreadsheet. "Seventeen," you whisper.
"What?" he says, turning around. to stare at you.
"I didn't say anything." You wait until he starts entering numbers again, then whisper "forty-four."
"Cut that out!"
"Twenty-eight. Six. One hundred and ninety-three."
"Shut up!"
"Also you missed a decimal point there."
"Arrrrgh!"
pygmy witch accountant  -- (edit metadata)
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| Take the day off |
You declare that the pygmies can take this job and shove it. That working 9 to 5 is no way to make a living. That you are a rhinestone cowboy.
Occurs at The Hidden Office Building every fifth adventure.
References
- Take This Job and Shove It, 9 to 5, and Rhinestone Cowboy are all country songs.
