With Just 7MP, I Can Make You a Man
You're lying on the beach with your favorite island girl, enjoying the sun, when a musclebound jerk decides to ruin your day. He hits on your girl, and when you protest, he kicks sand in your face and calls you a wimp.
You retreat to your hotel room to cry like a sissy. But while paging through the complimentary tourist magazine, you find an ad for The Iron Maiden Self Defense Program: Iron Maiden Can Make You an Iron Man (TM).
You send away for the brochure and it instantly arrives via relativity pigeon. You study its techniques and head back to the beach.
This time when the jerk starts strutting his stuff, you close your eyes and count to ten like you read in Iron Maiden's brochure. Then you summon a whirlwind of sand which scoops up Mr. Buff and drops him ten miles out to sea. Magic, baby. Magic.
 | You lose 3 Adventures. |
 | You spent 500 Meat. |
| You gain X Mysteriousness. |
 | You acquire an item: Shore Inc. Ship Trip Scrip |
Occurs at Tropical Paradise Island Getaway.
Notes
- Stats gained from this adventure are based on your level.
- Female characters can get this adventure.
References
- The name of this adventure, With Just 7MP, I Can Make You a Man, alludes to a lyric in the song I Can Make You a Man from the cult classic The Rocky Horror Picture Show, "In just seven days, I can make you a man."
- This adventure refers to the classic Charles Atlas advertisements, in which a 97-pound weakling gets sand kicked in his face by a bully. This convinces him to take up Atlas's workout system, which allows him to defeat the bully.
- These adverts were, in turn, referred to by The Rocky Horror Picture Show in the previously mentioned song, in which the weakling was changed to 98 pounds to avoid trademark issues.
- The text "Iron Maiden Can Make You an Iron Man (TM)" refers to both the heavy metal band Iron Maiden, and the song "Iron Man" by the heavy metal band Black Sabbath.
- The "relativity pigeon" refers to the principle of relativity, which is probably how the pigeon arrived before it left.
