What you totally should have said that one time
|What you totally should have said that one time|
|Locations||Your Bung Chakra, Your Hat Chakra, Your Nipple Chakra|
|Hit Points||75% of Defense|
|Monster Parts||eyebrow, goop, tentacle|
Man he thought he was so friggin cool with their snide remarks. You know what the perfect comeback would have been? Yeah you'd have liked to have seen his face. Why can't you be faster on the draw?
Would it be a bad idea to start writing these comebacks down on note cards and keeping them in your pocket, and then whenever someone says something mean you can look through the cards and...Ooh! Oof!
Aw man what if there was a really hot (gender preference) watching and you didn't see them but they saw you looking like a total dope?Ow! Ow!
Aw crap, but if you said that he probably would have said this and that would be even worse dammit dammit dammit (CRITICAL HIT!) Ow! Ouch!
Oh wait, even better! What if instead of a snappy comeback you just shot him with lasers out of your eyes like pyoooo! and his stupid haircut caught fire and he was all running around with his hair on fire! Ha ha that'd be hilarious!
Hey, look, snappy comebacking is a skill like any other -- very few people are naturally talented in it. That's why all-purpose ones like "So's your mother!" are so popular, you know?
You start daydreaming about how that jerk probably would have run away crying if you'd said what you ought to have said. And then what if you got recognized as a true master of snappy comebacks and they gave you a parade and the key to the city! (FUMBLE!)
|You acquire an item: negative lump (% chance)*|