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Monster ID 1354
Locations The Hallowed Halls
Hit Points 75% of Monster Defense
Attack Player's Moxie-1
Defense Player's Muscle-1
Initiative 0
Meat 16-24
Phylum dude
Elements None
Resistance  ?
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, glass "sculpture"
fountain 'soda', illegal firecracker, metal band T-shirt, folder (heavy metal)
Manuel Redeye™ Eyedrops
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
wastoid You're fighting a wastoid

This guy spends a lot of time in the hallway, and a lot of time outside on the grassy knoll over there, but not a whole lot of time actually in class. His eyes are glassy and unfocused, he smells like a weirdly skunky smoke, and he giggles occasionally for no reason. If there were a test that was "draw as many jam-band logos and skulls on this notebook as you can," he'd probably ace it with flying colors.

The colors, man. The colors.

Hit Message(s):

He exhales sweet-smelling smoke in your face. You have a coughing fit that ends with your lungs halfway up your own trachea. Eek!

He huffs from a spray paint can, then sprays some in your eyes.Eek!

He downs a fifth of vodka, breaks the bottle, and slashes you with the neck. Eek!

He sniffs some glue, then uses it to glue together your <kidney> and <thigh>. Ripping them apart is less than fun. Eek!

He gives you a whippet. I don't mean he makes you inhale nitrous oxide, I mean he throws a dog at you. It bites. Eek!

He downs a bottle of cough syrup and shoots lasers from his hands at you. Well, from his perspective. From yours, he just punched you. Eek!

Critical Hit Message:

He gives you a full-back henna tattoo. Now is definitely not the time to learn you're allergic to henna. Dear god, it burns. Eek!

Miss Message(s):

He exhales sweet-smelling smoke at you. It makes you a little hungry and a little more likely to end sentences with the word "man."

He huffs from a spray paint can. You giggle at the gold ring around his mouth.

He stops to down a fifth of vodka as casually as you'd polish off a soda.

He says, "now I wanna sniff some glue," and so he does.

He tries to give you a whippet, but you tell him it's too late for the whippet to be good.

He downs a bottle of cough syrup and gets distracted by how big his FEET are, man.

Fumble Message:

He stops cold and just stares into space for a few minutes, perfectly still and rigid, his arm still raised to attack. Kids, drugs are very, very bad for you. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 16-24 Meat. (average: 20, stdev: 2)*
Btee2.gifYou acquire an item: metal band T-shirt (5% chance)*
Fountaindrink.gifYou acquire an item: fountain 'soda' (15% chance)*
Bigfirecracker.gifYou acquire an item: illegal firecracker (15% chance)*
Folder2.gifYou acquire an item: folder (heavy metal) (10% chance)*

Occurs at The Hallowed Halls.