|Locations||The Poop Deck|
|Monster Parts||head, arm, leg, torso|
This pirate is covered in warts and more warts (of course, of course). He's tried gallons of weird nostrums and lotions for his warts (of quarts, of quarts). He's even tried some crystal healing for the warts (of quartz, of quartz), but nothing seems to work -- his skin is still covered with ugly, rough warts (of coarse, of coarse).
He headbutts you with his warty forehead. "Warty forehead" really rivals "cellar door" for the most beautiful phrase in the english language, doesn't it? Ow! Oof! Argh!
He smacks you with one warty hand. The warts scrape across your delicate skin. Ow! Oof! Eek!
He kicks you with one warty foot. You're reminded of the dorms in college. Ow! Eek! Eek!
He throws a toad at you, which smacks you in the face. You tell him that's just an old wives' tale. Ugh! Ow! Argh!
"Don't feel too bad," you say. "There are a lot of folk cures for warts: a copper penny, duck tape, adventurer's blood..." Uh-oh. Ugh! Ow! Ow!
He tries to headbutt you with his warty forehead, but you dodge.
He tries to smack you with his warty hand, but you dodge.
He tries to kick you with a warty foot, but you dodge.
He throws a toad at you. You dodge, and suggest he quit handling toads altogether.
You casually mention that kissing one's own elbow is a time-honored folk cure for warts, then sit back and watch him go through a series of entertaining contortions. (FUMBLE!)
|You gain 68-102 Meat (average: 85, stdev: 7.34)*|
|You acquire an item: fish-liver oil (29.1% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: copper ha'penny charrrm (9.7% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: vinegar-soaked lemon slice (29.2% chance)*|
|You acquire a bounty item: warrrrrt|
|You gain 30 <substat>.|
Occurs at the Poop Deck.