Warty pirate

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Warty pirate
Monster ID 632
Locations The Poop Deck
Hit Points 110
Attack 120
Defense 108
No-Hit 130
Initiative 50
Meat 68-102
Phylum pirate
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso
copper ha'penny charrrm, fish-liver oil, vinegar-soaked lemon slice
Bounty warrrrrt
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
warty pirate You're fighting a warty pirate

This pirate is covered in warts and more warts (of course, of course). He's tried gallons of weird nostrums and lotions for his warts (of quarts, of quarts). He's even tried some crystal healing for the warts (of quartz, of quartz), but nothing seems to work -- his skin is still covered with ugly, rough warts (of coarse, of coarse).

Hit Message(s):

He headbutts you with his warty forehead. "Warty forehead" really rivals "cellar door" for the most beautiful phrase in the english language, doesn't it? Ow! Oof! Argh!

He smacks you with one warty hand. The warts scrape across your delicate skin. Ow! Oof! Eek!

He kicks you with one warty foot. You're reminded of the dorms in college. Ow! Eek! Eek!

He throws a toad at you, which smacks you in the face. You tell him that's just an old wives' tale. Ugh! Ow! Argh!

Critical Hit Message:

"Don't feel too bad," you say. "There are a lot of folk cures for warts: a copper penny, duck tape, adventurer's blood..." Uh-oh. Ugh! Ow! Ow!

Miss Message(s):

He tries to headbutt you with his warty forehead, but you dodge.

He tries to smack you with his warty hand, but you dodge.

He tries to kick you with a warty foot, but you dodge.

He throws a toad at you. You dodge, and suggest he quit handling toads altogether.

Fumble Message:

You casually mention that kissing one's own elbow is a time-honored folk cure for warts, then sit back and watch him go through a series of entertaining contortions. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 68-102 Meat (average: 85, stdev: 7.34)*
Lightvial.gifYou acquire an item: fish-liver oil (29.1% chance)*
Pennycharm.gifYou acquire an item: copper ha'penny charrrm (9.7% chance)*
Lemonslice.gifYou acquire an item: vinegar-soaked lemon slice (29.2% chance)*
Peyote.gifYou acquire a bounty item: warrrrrt
(X of 6 found)
You gain 30 <substat>.

Occurs at the Poop Deck.


  • The repetition and rhyming of "of course, of course" is a reference to the theme song from Mister Ed.
  • J.R.R. Tolkien popularized the idea that "cellar door" is one of the most beautiful phrases in the English language.
  • All of the item drops are used for folk medicine wart remedies.