Wardröb nightstand

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Wardröb nightstand
Monster ID 1540
Locations The Haunted Bedroom
Hit Points 55
Attack 60
Defense 50
Initiative 0
Meat None
Phylum construct
Elements None
Resistance  ?
Monster Parts drawer, legs, top
Drops
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Wardröb nightstand You're fighting a Wardröb nightstand

This is a basic white nightstand from that store where everything has a weird, completely inappropriate name. It seems that towards the end of her life, Lady Spookyraven's obsession with nightstands had bankrupted the family to the extent that she had to buy flat-packed, mass-produced nightstands and assemble them herself.

This one seems to have a screw or two loose, and doesn't seem thrilled about it.

Hit Message(s):

It trips you, and as you're on the ground it kicks you in the head, giving you a goose egg with its loose leg. Ow! Ouch!

It opens its drawer and pelts you with dusty bits of hard candy. Ow! Argh!

It kicks one loose leg out and hits you in the shin. Now you have a loose leg, too. Ugh! Ow!

It hops on your instep with a spindly leg. Oh, the agony of the feat. Ouch! Ooh!

It falls over on your toes. That's gonna leave a mark. Argh! Oof!

It slams its drawer open into your kneecap. Ugh! Ugh!

Critical Hit Message:

It hops on your foot, then when you double over in pain it nails you in the forehead with its drawer. You haven't been this hurt by furniture since you got drunk and lost a fight with a Murphy bed. Eek! Ouch! Argh!

Miss Message(s):

It tries to give you a goose egg with its loose leg, but can't reach your head.

It opens its drawer, but can't find anything inside to hit you with.

It kicks at you with a loose leg, but it falls off and the nightstand hops backward.

It hops at your instep, but you step out.

It tries to fall on you, but Lord Spookyraven followed the instructions and tethered it to the wall.

It tries to kneecap you with its drawer, but you won't let it draw you in.

Fumble Message:

The front of its drawer falls off, and it has to try and line up the pegs and holes to put it back in again, creaking with rage all the while. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

You investigate the now-still nightstand...

Occurs at The Haunted Bedroom.

References

  • This is probably a reference to Ikea flat-packed furniture.