Warbear of the Roses

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Warbear of the Roses
Warbear of the Roses

You duck into another little outbuilding in the Fortress, and your nose crinkles as you smell the last thing you'd expect to smell on a giant floating fortress full of armored polar bears (because, y'know, you've had so much experience with those before): fresh-cut flowers.

A warbear in civilian garb looks at you from behind a counter, its eyes full of surprise and dread. "D-d-don't hurt me!" it says, paws up, forgetting that even without armor, it could still unzip you like a sleeping bag full of guts. "I'm just a humble florist!"

"We'll see," you snarl, just to keep up appearances. You notice a few choice bits of warbear tech amongst the flowers.

Loot the Flower Shop

"All right," you say, "I'm leaving. But I'm taking this! And this! And this! And let that be a lesson to you!" You scoop up your spoils of war and head back to Uncle Crimbo's place. "This is it, kid! This is exactly what I need!" he shouts. "The War Machine is almost finished, and it'll drive those warbears back to where they came from." He pauses for a second and looks thoughtful (perhaps for the first time in his life). "Though I suppose, kid, that the head of the Warbears won't be thrilled when I fire this thing up. So do you suppose you can take him out for me? Thanks. I'd do it, but I'm busy here."

Occurs on the WarBear Fortress (First Level).



  • The 15th century battles between the houses of Lancaster and York for the throne of England are known as the War of the Roses.