War Hippy Spy
|War Hippy Spy|
|Locations||Orcish Frat House (Verge of War) (in Frat Boy Ensemble or Frat Warrior Fatigues)|
|Monster Parts||head, arm, leg, torso|
At first, you mistake this hippy for a Sorority Orc. She has the barely-there shirt and low-rider jeans, and she giggles convincingly. But the sweet tribal tat on her lower back is clearly a henna tattoo, and most Sorority Orcs don't have dreadlocks.
And none of them have dreadlocks under their arms.
She scratches you with her crusty fingernails. You'd better hope she's had all her shots. Ooh! Ow! Ooh! Eek!
She lifts up her arms to hit you on the head. The hit doesn't connect, but the underarm odor certainly does. Oof! Ugh! Ow! Ugh! (stench damage)
She kicks out and hits you in the <giblets> with one filthy sandal-clad foot. Eek! Ugh! Ugh! Ouch!
She whips you with her ratty blonde dreadlocks. Wait, blonde dreadlocks? Ow! Oof! Ow! Ow!
She whips out a patchouli-oil bomb and sets up you it. Your eyes, nose, and mouth get filled with foul-smelling, super-heated oil. You gag for air, stumble around blindly, and have a sudden urge to listen to Phish. Ow! Argh! Ooh! Ow! (stench damage)
She tries to scratch you wtihher crusty fingernails, but can't seem to nail you down.
She tries to gag you with her hideous stench, but you hold your breath.
She tries to kick you, but her sandal flies off and she has to go look for it.
She tries to whip you with her dreadlocks, but you've got a lock on dodging and a dread for getting hit with them.
She whips out a handful of ferret bait and flings it at you. Apparently, she forgot that ferrets are decidedly sparser in the frat house than they are in the hippy camp. (FUMBLE!)
|You acquire an item: reinforced beaded headband (30% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: bullet-proof corduroys (30% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: round purple sunglasses (30% chance)*|
|You gain 41-42 <substat>.|
- The critical hit message is a reference to the Zero Wing opening movie, which contains the line "Someone set up us the bomb!"