War Hippy Infantryman
|War Hippy Infantryman|
|Locations||The Battlefield (Frat Warrior Fatigues)|
|Monster Parts||arm, head, leg, torso|
Stop, children -- what's that smell? It's a member of the Hippy Army's 12th Infantry Division, "Gaia's Armpit." They distinguish themselves from the other infantry divisions by cultivating a stench of even more legendary proportions, and using that stench in their proud defense of the Hippy Nation.
He advances on you. Of course, you knew that, because you smelled him coming from 100 yards away.
He puts you in a headlock. A face-up headlock. The stench of Gaia's Armpit's armpit is... indescribably horrible. Ooh! Oof! Argh! Eek! Argh! (stench damage)
He pulls out a vial of patchouli oil and pours it over your head. The combination of smells is unbearable. Ow! Oof! Ooh! Ooh! Eek! (stench damage)
He smacks you with his wicker shield. Have you red marks? Yes. Oof! Ouch! Ow! Eek! Ooh!
He runs around for a while, does a couple of jumping jacks and push-ups, and generally works up as much of a sweat as he can. Then he takes off his crusty sandals. Then he raises his hands to the sky. You gag, turn green, and pass out. Ugh! Ooh! Ugh! Eek! Ouch! (stench damage)
He tries to put you in a headlock, but you deftly execute your patented "headkey" manuever and break right out of it.
He pulls out a vial of patchouli oil and pours it over your head, but it almost smells good compared to him.
He smacks you with his wicker shield, which doesn't hurt at all.
He raises his arms again, ready to repel you with another stench attack, but it suddenly starts raining. He cries, "Gaia, why do you punish me?" as the rain washes him clean. (FUMBLE!)
|You acquire an item: bullet-proof corduroys (10.9% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: hippy protest button (10.0% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: oversized pipe (11.0% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: reinforced beaded headband (10.8% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: round purple sunglasses (10.4% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: wicker shield (5.8% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: water pipe bomb (5.1% chance)*|
|You gain 42-43 <substat>.|
Occurs at The Battlefield (Frat Warrior Fatigues).
- The line "Stop, children -- what's that smell" refers to the song "For What It's Worth" by Buffalo Springfield. The original lyrics are "Stop children, what's that sound." It may also be a reference to signs in zoos in areas where pheromone-secreting animals are kept which explain what the odd smell is.
- The phrase "Gaia's Armpit" may be a reference to the locations Gaia's Navel in Secret of Mana and Gaea's Navel in Chrono Cross.
- "Have you red marks? Yes," is a play on the phrase "Have you read Marx?" as in Karl Marx, author of The Communist Manifesto.