War Hippy Elite Rigger

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War Hippy Elite Rigger
Monster ID 487
Locations The Battlefield (Frat Warrior Fatigues)
Hit Points 215
Attack 190
Defense 171
No-Hit 200
Initiative 50
Meat None
Phylum hippy
Elements stench
Resistance None
Monster Parts arm, head, leg, torso
Drops
bullet-proof corduroys, communications windchimes, oversized pipe, reinforced beaded headband, round purple sunglasses, water pipe bomb, wicker shield, pink clay bead
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
War Hippy Elite Rigger You're fighting a War Hippy Elite Rigger

This is the captain of the elite 1965th infantry division, or "Jerry's Riggers" as they're called. He was promoted after he made a bomb out of a rubber band, a paperclip, and three wads of chewing gum. As he's often been quoted as saying, "anything you can think of lacks only an explosive component to become a bomb."

Hit Message(s):

He rigs together a Genalen(TM) bottle, a foot of hemp rope, and four tofu dogs. It somehow explodes and showers you with shrapnel. Ouch! Ouch! Ooh! Eek! Eek!

He rigs together three handkerchiefs, a colander, and four sticks of dynamite into a pretty passable rocket-propelled grenade.Ow! Ugh! Oof! Ugh!

He combines three sticks of incense and a lighter to make an effective, if not very creative, stench attack.Ooh! Eek! Ooh! Ooh! (stench damage)

He rigs together a bat skeleton, some windfall apples, and three yards of rubber tubing to make an anti-personnel mine. You probably shouldn't step -- whoops, too late.Oof! Ow! Ugh! Ugh! Ouch!

Critical Hit Message:

He makes a bomb out of several D batteries, a circuit board, and flashing lights in the shape of a cartoon character. It doesn't explode, but you're trampled by frenzied reporters. Eek! Eek! Ow! Ouch! Ouch!

Miss Message(s):

He rigs together a Genalen(TM) bottle and a foot of hemp rope. It doesn't explode, but it is a handy way secure the bottle to your belt loop.

He rigs together some windfall apples, three yards of rubber tubing, and a bat skeleton. It doesn't explode, but it's a fetching piece of modern sculpture.

He rigs together a soup tureen, a kayak oar, and a scented candle into something which doesn't explode, but which any hippy would proudly display in his or her home.

He combines a water pipe bomb with a lighter to make himself dazed and giggly.

Fumble Message:

He rigs together some D batteries, a circuit board, and flashing lights in the shape of a cartoon character, but of course it doesn't explode. I mean, duh. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Bpcords.gifYou acquire an item: bullet-proof corduroys (4.7% chance)*
Chimes.gifYou acquire an item: communications windchimes (3.0% chance)*
Leadpipe.gifYou acquire an item: oversized pipe (17.2% chance)*
Rankbead1.gifYou acquire an item: pink clay bead (28.9% chance)*
Warheadband.gifYou acquire an item: reinforced beaded headband (5.1% chance)*
Roundglasses.gifYou acquire an item: round purple sunglasses (5.1% chance)*
Wickershield.gifYou acquire an item: wicker shield (4.4% chance)*
Bong.gifYou acquire an item: water pipe bomb (10.3% chance)*
You gain 47-48 <substat>.

Occurs at The Battlefield (Frat Warrior Fatigues).

References

  • The critical hit and fumble messages are references to a bomb scare related to Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie ads.
  • The name "Jerry's Riggers" is a reference to the phrase "jerry rig" or "jury rig," which means to temporarily repair something with the materials at hand, as well as Jerry Garcia, lead guitarist for the Grateful Dead.
  • The phrase "elite 1965th infantry division" is another reference to the Grateful Dead, which formed in 1965.
  • This may also be a reference to the MacGyver TV show. MacGyver was known for making explosives out of any handy objects lying around.
  • Like the Genalen™ Bottle, the "Genalen(TM) bottle" in the miss messages is a reference to the Nalgene water bottle.