War Hippy Elite Rigger

War Hippy Elite Rigger
Monster ID	487
Locations	The Battlefield (Frat Warrior Fatigues)
Hit Points	215
Attack	190
Defense	171
No-Hit	200
Initiative	50
Meat	None
Phylum	hippy
Elements	stench
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	arm, head, leg, torso
Drops bullet-proof corduroys, communications windchimes, oversized pipe, reinforced beaded headband, round purple sunglasses, water pipe bomb, wicker shield, pink clay bead
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a War Hippy Elite Rigger

This is the captain of the elite 1965th infantry division, or "Jerry's Riggers" as they're called. He was promoted after he made a bomb out of a rubber band, a paperclip, and three wads of chewing gum. As he's often been quoted as saying, "anything you can think of lacks only an explosive component to become a bomb."

Hit Message(s):

He rigs together a Genalen(TM) bottle, a foot of hemp rope, and four tofu dogs. It somehow explodes and showers you with shrapnel. Ouch! Eek! Ugh! Ugh! Oof!

He rigs together three handkerchiefs, a colander, and four sticks of dynamite into a pretty passable rocket-propelled grenade.Ooh! Ugh! Ooh! Ouch!

He combines three sticks of incense and a lighter to make an effective, if not very creative, stench attack.Oof! Ow! Ooh! Ooh! (stench damage)

He rigs together a bat skeleton, some windfall apples, and three yards of rubber tubing to make an anti-personnel mine. You probably shouldn't step -- whoops, too late.Ouch! Argh! Oof! Ow! Ow!

Critical Hit Message:

He makes a bomb out of several D batteries, a circuit board, and flashing lights in the shape of a cartoon character. It doesn't explode, but you're trampled by frenzied reporters. Eek! Ooh! Eek! Eek! Argh!

Miss Message(s):

He rigs together a Genalen(TM) bottle and a foot of hemp rope. It doesn't explode, but it is a handy way secure the bottle to your belt loop.

He rigs together some windfall apples, three yards of rubber tubing, and a bat skeleton. It doesn't explode, but it's a fetching piece of modern sculpture.

He rigs together a soup tureen, a kayak oar, and a scented candle into something which doesn't explode, but which any hippy would proudly display in his or her home.

He combines a water pipe bomb with a lighter to make himself dazed and giggly.

Fumble Message:

He rigs together some D batteries, a circuit board, and flashing lights in the shape of a cartoon character, but of course it doesn't explode. I mean, duh. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You acquire an item: bullet-proof corduroys (4.7% chance)*

You acquire an item: communications windchimes (3.0% chance)*

You acquire an item: oversized pipe (17.2% chance)*

You acquire an item: pink clay bead (28.9% chance)*

You acquire an item: reinforced beaded headband (5.1% chance)*

You acquire an item: round purple sunglasses (5.1% chance)*

You acquire an item: wicker shield (4.4% chance)*

You acquire an item: water pipe bomb (10.3% chance)*

You gain 47-48 <substat>.

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Occurs at The Battlefield (Frat Warrior Fatigues).

References

• The critical hit and fumble messages are references to a bomb scare related to Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie ads.
• The name "Jerry's Riggers" is a reference to the phrase "jerry rig" or "jury rig," which means to temporarily repair something with the materials at hand, as well as Jerry Garcia, lead guitarist for the Grateful Dead.
• The phrase "elite 1965th infantry division" is another reference to the Grateful Dead, which formed in 1965.
• This may also be a reference to the MacGyver TV show. MacGyver was known for making explosives out of any handy objects lying around.
• Like the Genalen™ Bottle, the "Genalen(TM) bottle" in the miss messages is a reference to the Nalgene water bottle.