War Hippy Dread Squad
|War Hippy Dread Squad|
|Locations||The Battlefield (Frat Warrior Fatigues)|
|Monster Parts||arm, head, leg, torso|
This is one of the armored units from the hippy army -- in this case, that means a hippy with his girlfriend on his shoulders, both of whom have reinforced their long, nappy dreadlocks with several layers of filthy wax. The guy on the bottom is also carrying a digeridooka, a weapon for creating incredibly boring music and incredibly explosive rockets.
Usually these units are deployed to allow short women to see better at interminable jam-band concerts, but this one seems to be intent on beating you down.
She whips you with her ratty blonde dreadlocks. Wait, blonde dreadlocks? Ow! Argh! Ugh! Oof! Eek! Oof! (stench damage)
He launches a missile from his digeridooka. It explodes with so many amazing colors, man. Oh, and a lot of pain. Ouch! Ooh! Argh! Oof! Eek!
She scratches you with her crusty fingernails. Ew. Argh! Eek! Ooh! Ow! Oof!
She kicks out and hits you in the <skull> with one filthy sandal-clad foot. Argh! Ooh! Ugh! Oof! Eek! Argh!
She raises her arms above her head. The dense thatch of hair under her arms gives off a stench that knocks you backward. Argh! Argh! Oof! Ouch! Ooh! (stench damage)
The bottom hippy kicks you repeatedly in the shins, while his shoulder-mounted girlfriend slaps you and scratches you with her crusty fingernails. You're going to need a battery of shots after this. Or maybe one shot of battery acid. Ugh! Argh! Ooh! Argh! Ouch!
He tries to fire his digeridooka at you, but he can't seem to properly circular-breathe.
She raises her arms above her head, but the thick mat of hair there keeps her stench from escaping.
She tries to kick you, but her sandal flies off and she has to go look for it.
She tries to scratch you, but suddenly gets an itch in her nest of dreadlocks and has to scratch it, instead.
She charges forward, dreads flying and unsupported breasts flopping. Fortunately, her ride trips and she falls off of his shoulders. They have to re-mount before they can attack. (FUMBLE!)
|You acquire an item: bullet-proof corduroys (2.0% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: communications windchimes (2.8% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: didgeridooka (20.1% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: Lockenstock™ sandals (1.9% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: reinforced beaded headband (1.7% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: round purple sunglasses (1.5% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: tube of dread wax (15.3% chance)*|
|You gain 42-43 <substat>.|
Occurs at The Battlefield (Frat Warrior Fatigues).