War Frat Streaker

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War Frat Streaker
Monster ID 520
Locations The Battlefield (War Hippy Fatigues)
Hit Points 350
Attack 220
Defense 198
No-Hit 230
Initiative 100
Meat 320-480
Phylum orc
Elements sleaze
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso
Drops
distressed denim pants, beer helmet, kick-ass kicks, tube sock, white class ring
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
War Frat Streaker You're fighting a War Frat Streaker

Someone break out the Windex! Looks like the Frat Boy Army isn't above stooping to psychological warfare in their quest for dominance over the hippies. This guy directly contradicts the hippies' deeply held belief that the human body is a beautiful thing; just the sight of it is sure to cause some mental breakdowns. What with the paleness, the doughiness, and the overall hairiness, the only positive thing you can say about this guy is that his beer belly partially obscures his genitals.

Partially.

Hit Message(s):

He does a weird little dance. Various bits of him keep jiggling long after he stops. Your retinas fuse. Oof! Ugh! Argh! Ouch! (sleaze damage)

He stands right in front of you and does ten jumping jacks. It burns! Argh! Ouch! Eek! Oof! Ow! (sleaze damage)

He runs past you and his... parts briefly touch your arm. Gah. Ow! Eek! Ooh! Ouch! Ugh! (sleaze damage)

He moons you. You turn into a werewolf, briefly. It's a painful process. Eek! Ow! Eek! Ooh! Argh! Oof!

Critical Hit Message:

He shouts "Streakin'! We're goin' streakin'!" and runs past you. You catch a glimpse of what's under his beer belly and laugh so hard you crack a rib. Ouch! Ooh! Argh! Oof! Ugh! Oof!

Miss Message(s):

He does a weird little dance, but you avert your eyes.

He stands in front of you and does jumping jacks, but you avert your eyes.

He tries to touch you with various parts, but you're determined to be untouchable.

He moons you, but since you're not a werewolf you're unscathed.

Fumble Message:

He trips and falls into a puddle of glass cleaner, which keeps him from streaking for a while. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 320-480 Meat (average: 400, stdev: 33.07)*
Rankring3.gifYou acquire an item: white class ring (? chance)*
Tubesock.gifYou acquire an item: tube sock (100% chance)*
Deminpants.gifYou acquire an item: distressed denim pants (? chance)*
Beerhelmet.gifYou acquire an item: beer helmet (? chance)*
Kicks.gifYou acquire an item: kick-ass kicks (? chance)*
You gain 50? <substat>.

Occurs at The Battlefield (War Hippy Fatigues).

Notes

  • Until the July 29th update, this battle was accidentally counting as a casualty for the Hippy Army instead of the Frat Boy Army. However, the Streaker was still stench aligned for several weeks. Sometime on or before 9/14/07, the Streaker was observed to no longer resist stench damage.
  • This monster cannot be copied.
  • Occurs between 901 and 999 frat casualties, if at all.

References

  • The description comment about Windex is a reference to the cleaning product's claim to "give you a streak-free shine every time."
  • The crit message is a reference to the film Old School, in which Will Ferrell's character Frank shouts "We're goin' streakin'!" and streaks solo across town.