War Frat Senior Grill Sergeant

War Frat Senior Grill Sergeant
Monster ID	503
Locations	The Battlefield (War Hippy Fatigues)
Hit Points	120
Attack	210
Defense	153
No-Hit	220
Initiative	50
Meat	None
Phylum	orc
Elements	sleaze
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	arm, head, leg, torso
Drops asbestos apron, Frat Army FGF, kick-ass kicks, Monstar energy beverage, PADL Phone, war tongs
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a War Frat Senior Grill Sergeant

This is a frat boy who stood at the crossroads (so you won't be lonely) on midnight of All Hallow's Eve and traded his soul for the ability to do things with a grill that go beyond our mortal ken. Seeing as how he's a frat boy and all, nobody noticed he didn't have a soul, and everyone agrees his chicken wings are worth a couple of extra eons in purgatory.

Hit Message(s):

He cooks up the tastiest batburger you've ever smelled, then won't let you have a bite. You bite your tongue in frustration. Ugh! Oof! Ow! Ooh!

He somehow heats a coal until it goes out the other side of hot and down to absolute zero. Then he throws it at you. (cold damage)

He points at you, then at a batburger, then grills the batburger. Grill-marks appear on your <forehead> and <kidney>.Eek! Ugh! Ugh! Ouch!(hot damage)

He tosses a triple-fried lump of lard into your mouth. It tastes delicious, but it's greasier than a bucket of grease. Oof! Eek! Oof! Ow! (sleaze damage)

Critical Hit Message:

He pulls three knob ka-bobs off his grill and skewers you in the <lower back>, <lower back>, and <arse>. Somehow the skewers are ice-cold, while the kabobs themselves are white-hot. Spooky, man. Argh! Ouch! Argh! Ugh! (spooky damage)

Miss Message(s):

He throws a grilled batburger at you, but you dodge.

He offers you some devils-food cake, but you're not a devil, so you're not tempted.

He tries to skewer you with a skewer, but his attack goes somewhat askew.

He tempts you with deep-fried goodies, but you resist.

Fumble Message:

Just as he starts to attack again, Satan pops up in a sulfurous cloud and demands a tribute. The grillmaster has to quickly cook up a couple of beelzeburgers before he can rejoin the fray. (FUMBLE!)

Special Move(s):

The grill sergeant pulls out a bottle of lighter fluid, hoses you down with it, and lights a match. You can guess what ensues.

You're on fire! (hot damage)

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After Combat

You acquire an item: asbestos apron (5% chance)*

You acquire an item: Frat Army FGF (19.9% chance)*

You acquire an item: kick-ass kicks (14.8% chance)*

You acquire an item: Monstar energy beverage (30.7% chance)*

You acquire an item: PADL Phone (3.7% chance)*

You acquire an item: war tongs (18.8% chance)*

You gain 52-53 <substat>.

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Occurs at The Battlefield (War Hippy Fatigues).

Notes

• If he lights you on fire you continue to get the "You're on fire!" message and fire damage for the next three rounds, though it decreases. You will take damage on any action, even "twiddling your thumbs."
• The asbestos apron will not drop unless you have the Torso Awaregness skill.

References

• The message "at the crossroads (so you won't be lonely)" is a reference to the 1995 song "Tha Crossroads" by Bone Thugs-n-Harmony.
• Selling your soul at the crossroads is a reference to the song "Cross Road Blues" by Robert Johnson.
• The name is a clear pun of the military position Senior Drill Sergeant.
• The cold damage attack is a reference to several Terry Pratchett novels in which he refers to things going to one extreme and "out the other side."