War Frat Mobile Grill Unit

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War Frat Mobile Grill Unit
Monster ID 577
Locations The Battlefield (War Hippy Fatigues)
Hit Points 190
Attack 180
Defense 162
No-Hit 205
Initiative 70
Meat None
Phylum orc
Elements sleaze
Resistance 25%
Monster Parts door, grill, hood, wheel
Drops
beer helmet, bejeweled pledge pin, distressed denim pants, Frat Army FGF, PADL Phone, sausage bomb, shiny hood ornament, white class ring
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
War Frat Mobile Grill Unit You're fighting a War Frat Mobile Grill Unit

Looks like the frat boys have got themselves a pickup truck, so named because they believe it will enable them to more easily pick up women. They've taken a defenseless automobile and raised the suspension, added ridiculously large rims, put some truly homoerotic blue lights on the interior and exterior, and bolted a grill to the floor of the bed so they can have mobile tailgate parties.

Oh, and look -- there's a sticker on the back window with some cartoon character peeing on something. Now that's unexpected.

Hit Message(s):

You try to get all up in the truck's grill, but end up pretty seriously burning your face. Eek! Eek! Ooh! Eek!(hot damage)

The driver backs over you. You feel a little tired. Ouch! Ooh! Ugh! Ow! Argh! Ooh!

The driver does doughnuts around you while the gunner bombards you with flame-broiled burgers. Oof! Ooh! Ouch! Argh! Eek! Eek!(hot damage)

The gunner stops trying to throw food at you and just dumps the grill out all over your <knee>. Ow! Ow! Ouch! Ooh!(hot damage)

The truck speeds over you, missing you with the tires, but blinding you with the ground effects. Blue FACE! Why so blue, blue face? Eek! Ow! Eek! Ow! Oof!

Critical Hit Message:

The driver runs over your bung, backs over your ear, and then the gunner skewers you with a few kebabs. It's a pretty thorough ass-kicking. Eek! Ow! Ouch! Eek!

Miss Message(s):

The driver tries to run you down, but he's also steering with his knees while opening a beer, so he misses you.

The gunner lobs kebabs at you, but his askew throws fail to skewer you.

The driver does burgers around you while the gunner bombards you with doughnuts. Oh, wait...

The truck tries to ram you, but you read the instructions on its grill and dodge.

You grab one of the truck's blue ground lights and shine it in the driver's eyes. Blue FACE! Why so blue, blue face?

Fumble Message:

The truck tries to run you over, but you dodge. The driver tries to make a sharp U-turn to run over you, but the jacked-up suspension introduces him to rollover country. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Beerhelmet.gifYou acquire an item: beer helmet (2.2% chance)*
Fratwarpin.gifYou acquire an item: bejeweled pledge pin (1.4% chance)*
Deminpants.gifYou acquire an item: distressed denim pants (1.8% chance)*
Fgf.gifYou acquire an item: Frat Army FGF (4.8% chance)*
Padl.gifYou acquire an item: PADL Phone (10.7% chance)*
Sausagebomb.gifYou acquire an item: sausage bomb (40.7% chance)*
Hoodornament.gifYou acquire an item: shiny hood ornament (25.0% chance)*
Rankring3.gifYou acquire an item: white class ring (31.1% chance)*
You gain 48-49 <substat>.

Occurs at The Battlefield (War Hippy Fatigues).

Notes

References

  • The description of some cartoon character peeing is a reference to the popular sticker which features an altered image taken from a Calvin and Hobbes strip, created and sold without permission from the copyright holder.
  • The message about reading the instructions on the truck's grill and dodging is a reference to Dodge trucks, specifically their pickups (such as the Dodge Ram).
  • The messages about burgers being thrown from a moving vehicle could be a reference to Neg's Urban Sports, specifically Burger Bowling.
  • Homoerotic blue lights are a reference to blue LED lights Amplitude (a KoL Radio DJ) has installed in the dashboard of his car.
  • Blue FACE is a reference to a game played between Amplitude and Xlyinia during which Amplitude shines a blue light in Xlyinia's face while yelling "Blue FACE!"