War Frat Kegrider
|War Frat Kegrider|
|Locations||The Battlefield (War Hippy Fatigues)|
|Monster Parts||arm, head, leg, torso|
This calvary unit is a frat boy riding on top of a beer keg, which is on top of a furniture dolly. He waves a beer bong around his head and shouts a piercing battle cry, full of white-boy gangsta angst. He's looking for something to break, and he just found you.
He rolls by you on his keg and punches you in the <ankle>. You get a little punch-drunk. Ouch! Ow! Ouch! Ooh!
He clangs into your <neck> with the keg. That's gonna leave a bruise, bra. Ooh! Ooh! Argh! Ooh!
He grabs the keg tap and sprays you with the cheapest beer money can buy. Some of it gets in your mouth - yech! Ooh! Eek! Eek! Ooh! (sleaze damage)
He kicks you square in the <nipple>. So this is how frat boys get their kicks, eh? Eek! Ugh! Ooh! Ugh!
He kicks off from a wall and runs over you -- dolly, keg, and all. Your <throat> and <neck> are severely crushed. Man, if only the keg was full of light beer. Get it? Light? Never mind. Eek! Ouch! Ugh! Ugh!
He tries to punch you in the <forehead>, but you step aside and he rolls past you.
He tries to clang into you with the keg, but the wheels on the dolly get turned around and he just wheels in circles.
He sprays you with cheap beer, but you keep your mouth closed and plug your nose.
He tries to kick you but, like champagne, you get no kick from him.
He kicks off from a wall and rolls toward you, but loses his balance and falls off the keg. He should have practiced his kegstands a little harder. (FUMBLE!)
|You acquire an item: beer bong (5.3% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: beer helmet (1.3% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: bejeweled pledge pin (1.4% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: distressed denim pants (1.2% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: furniture dolly (15.5% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: PADL Phone (5.0% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: flask flops (??? chance)*|
|You gain 42-43 <substat>.|
Occurs at The Battlefield (War Hippy Fatigues).
- This monster has 25% Physical Resistance.
- The miss message about champagne is a reference to the Cole Porter song, "I Get a Kick Out Of You," which contains the lyric "I get no kick from champagne / Mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all."
- The description line about "full of white-boy gangsta angst" and "looking for something to break" are both references to and slams on the Fred Durst/Limp Bizkit song "Break Stuff" which contains the lyrics "Give me something to break" towards the end of it.