War Frat Grill Sergeant
|War Frat Grill Sergeant|
|Locations||The Battlefield (War Hippy Fatigues)|
|Monster Parts||arm, head, leg, torso|
This is one of the most skilled barbecue chefs the frat has ever seen -- it's only natural that they'd recruit him as a combat cook. He can make wing sauce so hot that God himself couldn't eat it, he can cook a burger so the inside's well done and the outside is medium rare, and he can deep fry just about anything, including the fry oil itself. Never has flaming, burning death been so irresistibly tasty.
He bastes you with his new icy-hot wing sauce. Turns out it's more icy than hot. Brrrrrrrrrrr. (cold damage)
He pelts you with deep-fried lard. You haven't been this greasy since -- well, let's not talk about that. Ooh! Ooh! Ow! Eek! (sleaze damage)
He -- well, you know that recipe for beer-can chicken? His war tongs are the beer can, and you're the chicken. Ow! Ooh! Ouch! Oof! (sleaze damage)
He heats up his war tongs on his grill, then grabs your eye with them. Ow! Eek! Ouch! Argh! (hot damage)
He cooks up six batburgers, then uses a pair of tongs in each hand to juggle them briefly before pelting you with them. You end up with six hockey-puck-shaped burn marks. Ooh! Ooh! Ugh! Ouch! Oof! (hot damage)
He tries to baste you with wing sauce. You don't have an escape plan, but you wing it, and you successfully evade the attack.
He tries to coat you in grease and fry you, but you're nobody's fryer.
He tries to grab you with his war tongs, but you point out that his batburgers are burning.
He starts to attack, but notices his knob ka-bobs are burning. Someone must be talking about his knob ka-bobs, somewhere.
He juggles three knob ka-bobs, but trips and drops them all before he can skewer you with them. He looks embarrassed, and almost drops his war tongs. (FUMBLE!)
The grill sergeant pulls out a bottle of lighter fluid, hoses you down with it, and lights a match. You can guess what ensues.
You're on fire! (hot damage)
|You lose some hit points.|
|You acquire an item: Frat Army FGF (4.5% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: kick-ass kicks (10.5% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: Monstar energy beverage (19.7% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: PADL Phone (2.9% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: war tongs (16.7% chance)*|
|You gain 47-48 <substat>.|
Occurs at The Battlefield (War Hippy Fatigues).