Wacky pirate

Wacky pirate
Monster ID	630
Locations	The Poop Deck
Hit Points	110
Attack	120
Defense	108
No-Hit	130
Initiative	50
Meat	60-90
Phylum	pirate
Elements	None
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	head, arm, leg, torso
	Drops cannonball charrrm, yohohoyo
Manuel	pirate cream pie
Manuel Entry
	refreshedit data

You're fighting a wacky pirate

This pirate looks to have spent some time with the dreaded clowns at the "Fun" house. You'd think a clown with an eyepatch and a hook hand would be even more terrifying than a normal clown, but somehow, the combination is pretty charming; it's kind of awesome to meet a pirate who has a rubber chicken on his shoulder.

Hit Message(s):

He whips out a banana cream pie and hits you in the face with it, but the pie tin spins around on his hook hand and he whacks you with the metal side. Argh! Ow! Argh!

He douses you in seltzer water. Oh, wait - that's bilge water. Ick! Eek! Ow! Ouch! (sleaze damage)

He juggles three cannonballs, dropping each one on your foot as he finishes. Ugh! Ow! Ooh!

He smacks you with his rubber chicken, while cackling "Pieces of eight! Pieces of eight!" Eek! Ugh! Eek!

Critical Hit Message:

He pulls a bicycle horn out of his back pocket and honks it repeatedly as he kicks you in the <eye>. Man, that's annoying. Ugh! Eek! Argh!

Miss Message(s):

He tries to throw a pie at you, but his hook hand isn't very good for throwin'.

He tries to douse you in seltzer water, but his eyepatch prevents him from aiming very well.

He tries to juggle some cannonballs, but it's hard to juggle with a hook hand.

He tries to smack you with his rubber chicken, but you dodge.

Fumble Message:

He pulls a unicycle out of his back pocket and pedals around the ship, honking his bicycle horn at all the pirates he passes. It's wacky, but it's not a great attack. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat