User:The ErosionSeeker/Lair Tests
Is it time for a comprehensive lair stat test page? [Answer: YES!]
I know I'm not the only one tired of having to sift through unhelpful pages time and time again!
Probably the biggest issue with pages for the init and stat tests is that anyone who is in a position to try maximizing them will likely know the ways in the first place. Also, most of the good effects are IOTM, Dread, or other niche uses. One more thing, A Telescope with at least 2 upgrades is recommended, as this allows you to see the stat and element tests, letting you plan for what you need. Although this list was created with the Hardcore Standard ascension in mind, many softcore runs can take some advice from these lists.
If tests make you anxious, here's a cheatsheet for the Tower. sp NOTE: Not all of these sources are necessary to get to #2, and if you can't ensure hitting the maximum, it's better to just take the extra contestant turn than to hunt down the components to try and save the turn.
SECOND NOTE: Items marked with (IOTM) may not necessarily be an IOTM themselves, but may be tradeable components of an IOTM, such as permable skills that anyone can buy from the Mall of Loathing. Owning the IOTM is typically the only way to access them in Hardcore.
SECOND SECOND NOTE: If you cannot make the threshold set by the test, you instead get a weighted roll to determine the number of contestants you must fight. An example, for the elemental damage test, if you are only able to manage 95/100, you have a 50% chance of being marked as #2 or #3. Attempt to maximize whenever possible, gamble at your own risk.
THIRD NOTE: Due to the extreme spread of available buffs that can be acquired from the Genie, only the best one or two are listed. There will typically never be a reason for you to spend multiple wishes for one Lair test, but you could.
Capacity:
- some amount of Fullness
- diabolic pizza from the IOTM: diabolic pizza cube can be used to 'wish' for effects in a way similar to the Genie. It is unlikely that this will ever be worth doing in high-level Hardcore Standard play, although it is possibly viable in especially restricted challenge paths.
- some amount of Drunkenness
- some amount of Spleen
Contents
The Contest of Adventurers
There are 3 tests. The first test is for speed, the second for might, and the third for elemental prowess. Although there are 11 positions, there are only 10 available spaces. With maximized stats, you will only fight one opponent: the one who is ranked #1. IOTM or IOTM-derived content is marked with (IOTM), while Class-Specific actions (Soul Saucery, Turtle Taming) are also marked as such.
Combat Initiative
You want to reach 400% Combat Initiative in order to always get the shortest lineup.
- Hare-o-dynamic +300% (IOTM: Diabolic pizza cube) - HARE
- Blessing of the Bird +0% to +150% (IOTM: Bird-a-Day calendar)
- Blessing of your favorite Bird +0% to +150% (IOTM: Bird-a-Day calendar)
- Industrially Lubricated +150% (IOTM: Red-Nosed Snapper)
- Always In Motion +100%
- Avatar of the Storm Tortoise +100% (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Turtle Tamer)
- backup camera +100% (IOTM: packaged backup camera)
- Hiding in Plain Sight +100%
- Silent Hunting +100% (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Seal Clubber)
- Digitalis, Dig It +75%
- Cargo Cultist Shorts +66% (IOTM: Bagged Cargo Cultist Shorts)
- Sizzling with Fury +60% (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Seal Clubber)
- 9-Volt-Charged +50% (IOTM: Potted power plant)
- Angel Hair Wisp +5-50% (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Pastamancer)
- AA-Charged +50% (IOTM: Potted power plant)
- Car-Charged +50% (IOTM: Potted power plant)
- D-Charged +50% (IOTM: Potted power plant)
- Pseudorandom fresh coat of paint result +50% (IOTM: fresh can of paint)
- Lantern-Charged +50% (IOTM: Potted power plant)
- miniature crystal ball +50% (IOTM: packaged miniature crystal ball)
- Resting Beach Face +50% (IOTM: Beach Comb Box)
- Song of Slowness: +50%
- whittled fox figurine +50% (IOTM: Distant Woods Getaway Brochure)
- Springy Fusilli (effect) +40%
- All Fired Up +30%
- Adorable Lookout +30% (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Turtle Tamer)
- Blessing of Pikachutlotal +30% (costs 1 1-ball)
- Bonerdagon necklace +30%
- Cartographically Aware +30% (IOTM: Comprehensive Cartographic Compendium)
- costume sword +30%
- flimsy ski pole +30% (IOTM: Left-Hand Man)
- Non-Euclidean non-accordion +15% or 30% (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Accordion Thief)
- Soulerskates +30% (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Sauceror)
- Ticking Clock +30% (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Seal Clubber or Turtle Tamer)
- Well-Swabbed Ear +30%
- Coffee Achiever +25% (IOTM: Distant Woods Getaway Brochure)
- hewn moon-rune spoon +25% (IOTM: rune-strewn spoon cocoon)
- Lord Spookyraven's ear trumpet +25%
- lynyrdskin breeches +25%
- lynyrdskin cap +25%
- lynyrdskin tunic +25%
- Nearly Silent Hunting +25% (CLASS-UNSPECIFIC: not Seal Clubber)
- vampyric cloake +25% (IOTM: vampyric cloake)
- astral shorts +20%
- Suspicious Gaze (effect) +20%
- Cletus's Canticle of Celerity (effect) +20%
- Chopsticks +20%
- Overdeveloped Sense of Self Preservation +20%
- Slimy Shoulders +2-20%
- Sugar Rush +20%
- The Glistening +20%
- The Vole Moon Sign +20%
- unrequired jacket +20%
- Cold ninja mask +15%
- Hors d'oeuvre tray +15%
- Leotarrrd +15%
- Mark II Steam-Hat or higher +15%
- Infernal insoles +10%
- Iunion Crown +10% or more (IOTM: bag of Iunion stones)
- Walberg's Dim Bulb (effect) +10%
- Whispering Strands +10% (CLASS-UNSPECIFIC: not Pastamancer)
- 1-ball +10%
Familiar:
- The Woim increases initiative at 2x Weight. This is equivalent to +42% or more with 4 easily accessible +weight effects.
The following are items and effects that increase the familiar weight of this familiar.
- Fidoxene up to +19 (IOTM: Eight Days a Week Pill Keeper)
- astral pet sweater +10
- Empathy Chip +10 (IOTM: Fourth of May Cosplay Saber kit)
- Spookyravin' +10, for sufficiently micromanaging Stephen Spookyraven-killers
- Amphibian Sympathy +5
- Beach Comb +5 (IOTM: Beach Comb Box)
- Blood Bond (effect) +5
- Do I Know You From Somewhere? +5 (IOTM: Beach Comb Box)
- Empathy of the Newt +5
- Pseudorandom fresh coat of paint result +5 (IOTM: fresh can of paint)
- hewn moon-rune spoon +5 (IOTM: rune-strewn spoon cocoon)
- Heavy Petting +5 (important: reduces stats by 10%, consider using after signing up for the stat test)
- Leash of Linguini (effect) +5
- Stephen's lab coat +5, for sufficiently micromanaging Stephen Spookyraven-killers
- The Platypus Moon Sign +5
- whittled bear figurine +5 (IOTM: Distant Woods Getaway Brochure)
Stat Tests
The stat test will always be different from the class's main stat. 600 in that particular stat guarantees the shortest lineup. Although it is safe to assume that percentage boosters will give about the same amount as a static boost, your mileage may vary. Some minor sources are omitted due to lapse of memory.
Boosts that Affect All Attributes
- Triple-Sized +200% (IOTM: Powerful Glove)
- Gr8ness +100%
- Hulkien +100% (IOTM: Eight Days a Week Pill Keeper)
- Larger +100% (need A Relaxing Hot Tub to be safe)
- Spit Upon +100% (IOTM: baby camelCalf)
- Holiday Yoked +50% (IOTM: box o' ghosts)
- Pseudorandom fresh coat of paint result +50% (IOTM: fresh can of paint)
- Tomato Power +50%
- Starry-Eyed +5% to 35%, depending on telescope upgrades.
- The Pleasures of the Flesh +1% to 30% (costs Demon Summoning materials)
- Fourth of May Cosplay Saber +20% (IOTM: Fourth of May Cosplay Saber kit)
- Song of Bravado (effect) +15%
- Aspect of the Twinklefairy +10%
- astral belt +10%
- astral shirt +10%
- Favored by Lyle +10%
- Spoon Boon +10% (IOTM: rune-strewn spoon cocoon)
- Stevedave's Shanty of Superiority (effect) +10%
- Feeling Excited +25 (IOTM: Emotion chip)
- Industrial Strength Starch +20
- War medals +5 to +11
- Eight Days a Week Pill Keeper +10 (IOTM: Eight Days a Week Pill Keeper)
- Iunion Crown +10 or more (IOTM: bag of Iunion stones)
- whittled shorts +10 (IOTM: Distant Woods Getaway Brochure)
- whittled tiara +10 (IOTM: Distant Woods Getaway Brochure)
- pirate fledges +7
- Codpiece of the Goblin King +7
- blackberry galoshes +7
- Cargo Cultist Shorts +6 (IOTM: Bagged Cargo Cultist Shorts)
- hewn moon-rune spoon +5 (IOTM: rune-strewn spoon cocoon)
- Antihangover +1800 (yOJimbOS_LAW only)
Muscle
- Expert Oiliness matches base Muscle to Mysticality
- Slippery Oiliness matches base Muscle to Moxie
- Elbow Macaroni matches base Muscle to Mysticality (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Pastamancer)
- Blessing of the Bird +0% to +200% (IOTM: Bird-a-Day calendar)
- Blessing of your favorite Bird +0% to +200% (IOTM: Bird-a-Day calendar)
- Incredibly Hulking +200% (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Accordion Thief)
- Towering Strength +100-200% (IOTM: Diabolic pizza cube) - TOW
- Phorcefullness +100%
- Temporary Lycanthropy +10% to 67%, dependent on the Moon phases (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Accordion Thief)
- Yeg's Motel bathrobe +66% (IOTM: Bagged Cargo Cultist Shorts)
- Lack of Body-Building +50% (IOTM: Beach Comb Box)
- rusty kettle bell +50% (IOTM: Left-Hand Man)
- Wolfish Form +50% (IOTM: vampyric cloake)
- Cold Blooded +30%
- Hot Blooded +30%
- Vampire Slicer trench cape +30% (IOTM: unwrapped knock-off retro superhero cape)
- astral bludgeon +25%
- astral mace +25%
- astral shield +25%
- astral trousers +25%
- Extreme Muscle Relaxation +25% (important: use this only after signing up for the Initiative test unless you want to spend an extra soft green echo eyedrop antidote)
- Quiet Determination (effect) +25%
- whittled bear figurine +25% (IOTM: Distant Woods Getaway Brochure)
- Hopped Up on Goofballs +20%
- Stenchtastic +20%
- Go Get 'Em, Tiger! +15%
- Supafly +15%
- Football Eyes +10%
- Rage of the Reindeer (effect) +10%
- Sugar Rush +5%
- 'Roids of the Rhinoceros +100
- ebony epee +25 (IOTM: Your SpinMaster™ lathe)
- Woad Warrior +25
- Truly Gritty +20
- whittled flail +20 (IOTM: Distant Woods Getaway Brochure)
- headhunter necktie +15
- mesh cap +15
- ye olde golde frontes +15 (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Disco Bandit)
- Macaroni Coating +10 (CLASS-UNSPECIFIC: not Pastamancer)
- Power Ballad of the Arrowsmith +10
- Rainy Soul Miasma +10
Mysticality
- Slippery Oiliness matches base Mysticality to Moxie
- Stabilizing Oiliness matches base Mysticality to Muscle
- Blessing of the Bird +0% to +200% (IOTM: Bird-a-Day calendar)
- Blessing of your favorite Bird +0% to +200% (IOTM: Bird-a-Day calendar)
- Mitre Cut +100-200% (IOTM: Diabolic pizza cube) - MIT
- On the Shoulders of Giants +200% (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Accordion Thief)
- Mystically Oiled +100%
- Yeg's Motel slippers +66% (IOTM: Bagged Cargo Cultist Shorts)
- glued-together crystal ball +50% (IOTM: Left-Hand Man)
- Seeing Colors +50%
- We're All Made of Starfish +50% (IOTM: Beach Comb Box)
- Heck General cloak +30% (IOTM: unwrapped knock-off retro superhero cape)
- Spooky Demeanor +30%
- Stenchtastic +30%
- astral chapeau +25%
- astral bracer +25%
- astral ring +25%
- astral statuette +25%
- Quiet Judgement (effect) +25%
- whittled owl figurine +25% (IOTM: Distant Woods Getaway Brochure)
- Glittering Eyelashes +15%
- Supafly +15%
- Cold Blooded +10%
- Erudite +10%
- Hot Blooded +10%
- Happy Trails +100
- weeping willow wand +25 (IOTM: Your SpinMaster™ lathe)
- whittled wand +20 (IOTM: Distant Woods Getaway Brochure)
- hippy medical kit +10
- Rainy Soul Miasma +10
- The Magical Mojomuscular Melody (effect) +10
- flowing hippy skirt +9
Moxie
- Expert Oiliness matches base Moxie to Mysticality
- Stabilizing Oiliness matches base Moxie to Muscle
- Penne Dreadful matches base Moxie to Mysticality (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Pastamancer)
- Blessing of the Bird +0% to +200% (IOTM: Bird-a-Day calendar)
- Blessing of your favorite Bird +0% to +200% (IOTM: Bird-a-Day calendar)
- Cock of the Walk +200% (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Accordion Thief)
- Knightlife +100-200% (IOTM: Diabolic pizza cube) - KNI
- Buttery, Boy +100% (IOTM: Guzzlr tablet)
- Superhuman Sarcasm +100%
- Yeg's Motel shower cap +66% (IOTM: Bagged Cargo Cultist Shorts)
- martini dregs +50% (IOTM: Left-Hand Man)
- Pomp & Circumsands +50% (IOTM: Beach Comb Box)
- Robot Police cape +30% (IOTM: unwrapped knock-off retro superhero cape)
- Supafly +30%
- astral longbow +25%
- astral mask +25%
- astral pistol +25%
- astral shorts +25%
- Quiet Desperation (effect) +25%
- whittled fox figurine +25% (IOTM: Distant Woods Getaway Brochure)
- Beach Comb +20% (IOTM: Beach Comb Box)
- Hopped Up on Goofballs +20%
- Spooky Demeanor +20%
- Butt-Rock Hair +15%
- Disco Fever (effect) +10%
- Radiating Black Body™ +10%
- Sugar Rush +5%
- Piratastic +100
- beechwood blowgun +25 (IOTM: Your SpinMaster™ lathe)
- whittled flute +20 (IOTM: Distant Woods Getaway Brochure)
- buoybottoms +11
- grungy flannel shirt +11
- Penne Fedora +10 (CLASS-UNSPECIFIC: not Pastamancer)
- The Moxious Madrigal (effect) +10
- tap shoes +9
- leather chaps +8
- Blubbered Up +5
Elemental Tests
There will always be one elemental test, selected randomly out of 5. These tests are based off of elemental bonuses to Weapon Damage and Spell Damage. A bonus of 100 in the appropriate element ensures the shortest lineup. As every +10 damage to an element is 1 adventure saved, these elemental tests can be great ways to use an elemental semi-rare to cut 5 turns.
All-Elemental Boosts
- Pseudorandom fresh coat of paint result +40 to one element (IOTM: fresh can of paint)
- Boschface +25, for sufficiently micromanaging ghost of Elizabeth Spookyraven-killers
- Spoon Boon +15 (IOTM: rune-strewn spoon cocoon)
- whittled tiara +5 (IOTM: Distant Woods Getaway Brochure)
- Fourth of May Cosplay Saber +4 (IOTM: Fourth of May Cosplay Saber kit)
- autocalliope +2 or 4 (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Accordion Thief)
- astral shirt +3
- All Glory To the Toad +2
- bejeweled cufflinks +2 (IOTM: Clan VIP Lounge key)
- painted shield +2 (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Turtle Tamer)
- yohohoyo +2
- elemental billiards balls count as +10 each, some can count as +20 when placed in An Overgrown Shrine.
Hot
- Yeah, It's Just Gasoline +100 (IOTM: Diabolic pizza cube) - YEA
- Song of Sauce (effect) +100 (free pass!)
- Flamingly Floral +50
- Hot Hands +30
- Hot-Headed +30 (IOTM: Beach Comb Box)
- Steamed +30 (IOTM: Guzzlr tablet)
- Sizzling with Fury +25 (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Seal Clubber
- abyssal ember +20 (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Seal Clubber)
- Blessing of Charcoatl +20 (costs 1 5-ball)
- Big Flaming Whip +20 (costs Demon Summoning materials)
- war tongs +20
- 5-ball +16
- fire poi +15
- red hot poker +15
- Iunion Crown +0 to +12 (IOTM: bag of Iunion stones)
- accord ion +5 or 10 (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Accordion Thief)
- breadchucks +10
- Hot Blooded +10
- Flaming Weapon +3
Cold
- Staying Frosty +100 (IOTM: Diabolic pizza cube) - STAY
- Permafrosty +50
- Song of the North (effect) +50
- Cold as Nice +30 (IOTM: Beach Comb Box)
- cold water bottle +30
- Cold Hands +30
- On the Rocks +30 (IOTM: Guzzlr tablet)
- Cold Hard Skin +25 (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Seal Clubber)
- frozen seal spine +20 (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Seal Clubber)
- Icy Glare (effect) +20
- pentatonic accordion +9 or 18 (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Accordion Thief)
- 2-ball +16
- Cold Blooded +10
- Iunion Crown +0 to +9 (IOTM: bag of Iunion stones)
- Frigid Weapon +3
Spooky
- Bored Stiff +100 (IOTM: Diabolic pizza cube) - BOR
- Yeg's Motel slippers +100 (IOTM: Bagged Cargo Cultist Shorts)
- Bloody Bloody Bloody! +50
- Yeg's Motel bathrobe +50 (IOTM: Bagged Cargo Cultist Shorts)
- Does It Have a Skull In There?? +30 (IOTM: Beach Comb Box)
- Spooky Hands +30
- Touched +30 (IOTM: Guzzlr tablet)
- Elizabeth's Dollie +25, for sufficiently micromanaging ghost of Elizabeth Spookyraven-killers
- Scrappy, Shadowy +25 (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Seal Clubber)
- Dirge of Dreadfulness (effect) +24
- shadowy seal eye +20 (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Seal Clubber)
- 3-ball +16
- Iiti Kitty phone charm +15
- red masque +15
- bone bandoneon +7 or 14 (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Accordion Thief)
- Iunion Crown +0 to +12 (IOTM: bag of Iunion stones)
- bone flute +11
- black blade +10
- ghost accordion +5 or 10 (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Accordion Thief)
- Snarl of the Timberwolf (effect) +10
- Spooky Demeanor +10
- Spooky Weapon +3
Stench
- Sewer-Drenched +100 (IOTM: Diabolic pizza cube) - SEW
- Chauve-Souris Merde Fou +50
- A Brush with Grossness +30 (IOTM: Beach Comb Box)
- Demonic Taint +30 (costs Demon Summoning materials)
- Stinky Hands +30
- Sulfurous Sinuses +30 (IOTM: Guzzlr tablet)
- The More You Eat +30 (IOTM: Distant Woods Getaway Brochure)
- Grulched +25 (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Seal Clubber)
- peace accordion +12 or 24 (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Accordion Thief)
- Gaia beads +20
- infernal toilet brush +20 (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Seal Clubber)
- tarrrnished charrrm bracelet +20
- 6-ball +16
- beer bong +15
- flowing hippy skirt +15
- goatskin umbrella +15
- Lynyrd musk +15
- War Hippy Fatigues +15
- beer-a-pult +10
- grungy bandana +10
- short-handled mop +10
- Stenchtastic +10
- Whoompa Fur Pants +10
- Lockenstock™ sandals +7
- Iunion Crown +0 to +6 (IOTM: bag of Iunion stones)
- pygmy briefs +5
- Stinky Weapon +3
Sleaze
- Fifty Ways to Bereave Your Lover +100 (IOTM: Diabolic pizza cube) - FIF
- Painted-On Bikini +100 (IOTM: Diabolic pizza cube) - PAI
- Buttery, Boy +30 (IOTM: Guzzlr tablet)
- Cuts Like a Buttered Knife +50
- disturbing fanfic +30
- midriff scrubs +30
- Oiled, Slick +30 (IOTM: Beach Comb Box)
- Sleazy Hands +30
- The Two-Prong Crown +30
- Lubed +25 (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Seal Clubber)
- mannequin leg +25 (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Seal Clubber)
- Jefferson wings +20
- Iunion Crown +0 to +18 (IOTM: bag of Iunion stones)
- ghost of a necklace +16
- 4-ball +16
- a butt tuba +15
- Frat Warrior Fatigues +15
- Greasy Peasy +15
- beer-a-pult +10
- grungy bandana +10
- kick-ass kicks +10
- short-handled mop +10
- Supafly +10
- orcish stud-finder +5
- pygmy briefs +5
- Sleazy Weapon +3
The Hedge Maze
The optimal way to do the hedge maze consists of 3 elemental damage tests that deal damage proportional to your maximum HP.
You need 8 points of resistance for the first test, 7 points of resistance for the second test, and 6 points of resistance for the third test. For a simpler way of remembering, 7 points of resistance in each element is sufficient. For people with Muscle-boosting effects that are going to wear off in between the second or third test, you may find yourself requiring even less than 7 or 6 resistance. Attempt at your own peril.
- Iunion Crown +??? (numbers are based on averages in Hardcore) (IOTM: bag of Iunion stones)
- Hot: +6
- Cold: +0
- Stench: +3
- Spooky: +5
- Sleaze: +7
- Avatar of She-Who-Was +5 (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Turtle Tamer)
- Cargo Cultist Shorts pockets +5 (IOTM: Bagged Cargo Cultist Shorts)
- Red-Nosed Snapper potions +5 (IOTM: red-spotted snapper roe)
- Good Chance of Surviving Hell +5 Hot
- Furrier than Thou +5 Cold
- Potpourri Committed +5 Stench
- Pleasant Forecast +5 Spooky
- Gooed Enough For Government Work +5 Sleaze
- Blessing of the Bird +0 to +5 to one element (IOTM: Bird-a-Day calendar)
- Blessing of your favorite Bird +0 to +5 to one element (IOTM: Bird-a-Day calendar)
- Fourth of May Cosplay Saber +1 or Force Resistance Multiplier +4 (IOTM: Fourth of May Cosplay Saber kit)
- Rainbowolin +4 (IOTM: Eight Days a Week Pill Keeper)
- Comb the Beach +3 (IOTM: Beach Comb Box)
- Hot-Headed +3 Hot (IOTM: Beach Comb Box)
- Cold as Nice +3 Cold (IOTM: Beach Comb Box)
- Does It Have a Skull In There?? +3 Spooky (IOTM: Beach Comb Box)
- A Brush with Grossness +3 Stench (IOTM: Beach Comb Box)
- Oiled, Slick +3 Sleaze (IOTM: Beach Comb Box)
- burning cape +3 Hot
- burning paper slippers +3 Cold
- burning paper hat +3 Stench
- burning paper crane +3 Spooky
- burning paper jorts +3 Sleaze
- Guzzlr tablet platinum drinks +3 (IOTY: Guzzlr tablet)
- Steamed +3 Hot
- On the Rocks +3 Cold
- Sulfurous Sinuses +3 Stench
- Touched +3 Spooky
- Buttery, Boy +3 Sleaze
- Vampire Slicer trench cape - Hold Me +3 (IOTM: unwrapped knock-off retro superhero cape)
- Class Level 13 passives +2 to one type
- Tolerance of the Kitchen +2 Hot
- Northern Exposure +2 Cold
- Diminished Gag Reflex +2 Stench
- Cold-Blooded Fearlessness +2 Spooky
- Heart of Polyester +2 Sleaze
- discarded finger painting +2 (IOTM: Left-Hand Man)
- Elemental Saucesphere (effect) +2
- Exotic Parrot +1-2 (reasonable weight, you may or may not still have +weight buffs from using the Woim in the speed test)
- Feeling Peaceful +2 (IOTM: Emotion chip)
- Let It Snow/Boil/Stink/Frighten/Grease +2 (IOTM: box o' ghosts)
- Pseudorandom fresh coat of paint result +2 to one element (IOTM: fresh can of paint)
- Misty Form +2 (IOTM: vampyric cloake)
- Oiled-Up +2
- Red Door Syndrome +2
- Spiro Gyro +2 (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Turtle Tamer)
- Spoon Boon +2 (IOTM: rune-strewn spoon cocoon)
- whittled shorts +2 (IOTM: Distant Woods Getaway Brochure)
- Astral Shell (effect) +1
- Comb the Beach +1 (IOTM: Beach Comb Box)
- Too Cool for (Fish) School +1 Hot (IOTM: Beach Comb Box)
- Shells of the Damned +1 Cold (IOTM: Beach Comb Box)
- Worst Willy +1 Spooky (IOTM: Beach Comb Box)
- On Smellier Tides +1 Stench (IOTM: Beach Comb Box)
- Boisterous Oysterous +1 Sleaze (IOTM: Beach Comb Box)
- ghost of a necklace +1
- head mirror +1
- Just Like Me, They Want to Be +1 (IOTM: Distant Woods Getaway Brochure)
- titanium assault umbrella +1
- Scarysauce (effect) +2 to Cold and Sleaze
- Wads +2 to one type
- elemental powders +1 to one type
- elemental Semi-rares
- Fireproof Lips +9 Hot
- Fever From the Flavor +9 Cold
- Can't Smell Nothin' +9 Stench
- Hyphemariffic +9 Spooky
- Hyperoffended +9 Sleaze
In certain paths, an alternative way to go through the damage tests without such an amount of elemental resistance is as follows:
- Reduce your maximum HP
- Maximize HP regeneration
You must get at least 3 adventures' worth of stat debuffs in order to go through the maze. If your negative effects run out, your HP will increase and make you lose!
You can reduce your HP by equipping the PirateRealm eyepatch to cap base Muscle to 20, and you can get Hardly Poisoned at All from the Giant's poison drink in the Strange Leaflet.
Notable HP regeneration sources:
- giant penguin keychain +12-16
- Fit To Be Tide +5-16
- Blood-Rich +8-12
- turtlemail hauberk +6-12 (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Turtle Tamer)
- gauze shorts +6-10
- hippy medical kit +6-10
- Extra-Thick Blood +5-10
- frozen seal spine +5-10 (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Seal Clubber)
- red book +5-10
- Hairy Palms +6-8
- Misty Cloak +4-8
- padded tortoise +4-8 (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Turtle Tamer)
- astral shorts +4-6
- Antibiotic Saucesphere (effect) +4-5
- Corruption of Wretched Wally +3-5 (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Seal Clubber)
- Misty Cape +2-4
- Buoyancy of the Beluga +1-5 (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Seal Clubber)
- Fortitude of the Muskox +1-2
Peeling the wall of skin
The wall of skin has 50 HP and takes 1 damage from every attack. You need to deal 50 sources of damage over 4 (or 6) rounds. The wall of skin doesn't put up an easy fight either, it increases in damage every turn! The alternative to using brute force is to spend 3 adventures grabbing the beehive from The Black Forest. That's like, 2 turns you save by being able to 50-hit combo! Attacks:
- Prismatic weapon attacks provides 6
Consider the following sources of +elemental damage:
- All Glory To the Toad
- astral shirt
- bejeweled cufflinks (IOTM: Clan VIP Lounge key)
- Boschface, for sufficiently micromanaging ghost of Elizabeth Spookyraven-killers
- yohohoyo
- Pulverize on elemental equipment for nuggets
- A weapon in the off-hand gives +1, if you lack a better offhand.
- Belch The Rainbow for 5. Requires no specific items in the main or off-hands.
- Headbutt and Kneebutt both give an extra +1. Shieldbutt needs a shield, and if you aren't using a hot plate that's already costing you 1 point of damage per round, while if you do have a hot plate, you're still losing 1 damage in the final round. Seriously. Don't.
Familiar:
- Imitation Crab de facto best choice because it attacks 4 times every round, and will never become Standard-restricted!
Familiar equips
- tiny bowler
- Ant tools (will not fire every round, only use as last resort)
Sources of passive damage:
- Burning, Man (costs Demon Summoning materials, probably not worth it)
- electric boning knife (combat item) requires you to have found it in the castle noncom very early, although this + a good combat item can more than equal the amount of damage you can deal in single rounds normally
- Mayeaugh (sometimes available from Daily Dungeon)
- Pygmy Drinking Buddy (works even if used with no booze, usually requires a combat macro pickpocket on a drunk pygmy or random drop from Where Does The Lone Ranger Take His Garbagester?)
- smirking shrunken head
- Soul Funk (effect) (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Sauceror)
- The pale horse (PROMO: A Horsery)
- throwing knife (combat item)
- Vampieroghi (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Pastamancer)
- Vermincelli level 5+ (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Pastamancer)
Sources of stinging damage, which do not work on the final turn thanks to how combat is structured:
- bottle opener belt buckle
- hippy protest button
- hot plate
- Jalapeño Saucesphere (effect)
- Psalm of Pointiness (effect)
- Scarysauce (effect)
- Spiky Shell (effect)
In the absolute worst case scenario, it is still possible to deal "full" damage to the wall with items and effects acquired throughout the run:
- hot plate
- Icy Glare
- filthy knitted dread sack or Gaia beads or flowing hippy skirt
- skeleton bone
- ghost of a necklace
Although not recommended because they cost you your turn's worth of weapon damage, strong enough healing, such as scented massage oil or something similar might allow you to survive an extra round of battle. Additionally, even though stuns and staggers are useless against the wall of skin, you can "dodge" its unblockable attacks using skills like Shell Up and Sauceshell, buying you valuable entire extra rounds worth of damage. Using either Shell on the round before the wall would do lethal damage will maximize your expected returns. Note that Blood Bubble will not meaningfully increase the number of rounds you have to fight.
Having one of Shell Up or Sauceshell gives you 5 turns to do 49 damage (since the Shell itself will do 1 damage), while having both gives you a nice 6 turns to do 48 damage. 13 damage a turn for 4 turns seems imposing, but 8 damage a turn for 6 turns is easy, especially with Imitation Crab!
The ideal combat rotation is Headbutt -> Headbutt -> Headbutt -> Shell Up -> Sauceshell -> Headbutt
Assuming full 7 damage Headbutts, you only need 15 additional bits of damage (3 sources of passive or 4 sources of stinging, Imitation Crab alone solves it in paths where it's allowed)
Without Shells, 50 damage in 4 rounds is significantly trickier. Still, after subtracting 28 from 4x Headbutt, you still need 22 damage:
2 passive + shrunken head + bottle buckle + protest button + Jalapeño + Scary + Spiky + Psalm = 23 (just enough), or 7 points after Imitation Crab.
If you want to get even crazier, consider enabling the setting for "enable auto-attack against boss and special monsters", and then set your autoattack to Headbutt, which gives you a "free" combat round because of how the wall of skin's damage ramping functions. 50 damage across 5 turns is great, and 48 over 7 rounds is completely trivial. This may or may not be fixed in the future.
Summary
Get the following:
- Perm Headbutt or Kneebutt
- Get an Imitation crab
- Get prismatic elemental damage
- Offhand a weapon, or use smirking shrunken head / hot plate
This deals 48 damage across 4 turns. If you have another source of passive damage, or you have Shell Up or Sauceshell, you're golden!
Beating your meat
The wall of meat has a bunch of meat! It has a base meat drop range of 160-240, and you need 1,001 to gather meat in order to defeat it for good. You will need +525.625% to guarantee that it only takes 1 turn. That being said, the wall of Meat can also be picked apart over multiple turns, so basically do whatever it was you did for the Nuns.
- Sinuses For Miles +200%
- Blessing of the Bird +0% to +100% (IOTM: Bird-a-Day calendar)
- Blessing of your favorite Bird +0% to +100% (IOTM: Bird-a-Day calendar)
- Car-Charged +100% (IOTM: Potted power plant)
- Eau d' Clochard +100% (IOTM: Red-Nosed Snapper)
- All Blued Up +60%
- backup camera +50% (IOTM: packaged backup camera)
- Big Smile of the Packrat +50% (IOTM: Distant Woods Getaway Brochure)
- Polka of Plenty +50%
- Wolfish Form +50% (IOTM: vampyric cloake)
- Lasagmbie +22-40% (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Pastamancer)
- Sulfurous Sinuses +40% (IOTM: Guzzlr tablet)
- All Chipped Up +30%
- crumbling rabbit's foot +30% (IOTM: Left-Hand Man)
- The +25 base meat means all of your other effects also become slightly stronger!
- Wasabi Sinuses +30%
- Smile of the Packrat +25% (IOTM: Distant Woods Getaway Brochure)
- Traditional Eating +25% (IOTM: Distant Woods Getaway Brochure)
- whittled flute +25% (IOTM: Distant Woods Getaway Brochure)
- Accordion of Jordion +10% or 20% (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Accordion Thief)
- Nimble Fingers +20%
- The Wombat Moon Sign +20%
- Expert Panhandling +10% or +15% with a saucepan equipped
- booty chest charrrm bracelet +10%
- Disco Leer (effect) +10%
- Gnefarious Pickpocketing +10%
- Pasta Eyeball +10% (CLASS-UNSPECIFIC: not Pastamancer)
- Thrift and Grift +10%
Familiar:
- Leprechauns and Hobo Monkeys also benefit from weight increases. Unlike the Woim, they increase in effectiveness at a non-linear rate, so calculate to make sure.
Refer to the items and effects that increase the familiar weight of these familiars. (List of all standard-legal Familiar Weight boosters)
Crushing the wall of bones
The wall of bones is a 20,000 HP group size 100 mini-ZHA that can only be damaged by group damage. Buff either Muscle, Mysticality and Spell Damage, or grab the electric boning knife from Castle if you must. Now that it is 2018 and Garbage Nova has rotated out, you must deal 20,000 group damage over 4 rounds, or 5,000 a round. Reduce your ML as low as you can! You're already at this stage of the Tower, why are you using ML anyways?
In a post-Garbage Nova world (coming to a metagame near you in 2018), negative Monster Level works double duty here, it both shrinks the wall by some amount (reducing its HP and more importantly, its 1000 defense), as well as improving all damage by 0.4% per point.
- red badge -25 ML
- Drowsy Sword -10 ML (not advised for Splattersmash, maybe usable for Saucegeyser)
- security flashlight -10 ML (only on Halloween)
- nasty rat mask -5 ML
It may not be smart to go out of your way to acquire most of the -ML sources.
Splattersmash
Remember that the Wall of Bones has the high defense value of 1,000, you need to either buff Muscle above 1,000, or delevel it significantly in order to deal meaningful damage to the wall. If you spend a round deleveling the wall, you will have to deal 6,667 damage per round instead of 5,000.
Consider the following:
20,000 ÷ 4 = 5,000 (amount of damage required for a single round)
5,000 ÷ 25 = 200 (amount of damage when accounting for Splattersmash group/4 bonus)
200 - 30 = 170 (amount of damage after subtracting Splattersmash base damage 30-40)
170 + 1,000 (amount of Muscle required after adding the wall's defense)
You need 1,170 Muscle to Splattersmash 4 times for lethal damage.
(List of all standard-legal Muscle boosters)
Saucegeyser
At sufficiently buffed Mysticality and Spell Damage, Saucegeyser is viable. Keep in mind that this requires tremendous quantities of Spell Damage, Because Saucegeyser deals triple damage to group monsters, each cast of Saucegeyser needs to deal at least 1667 damage.
Consider the following:
20,000 ÷ 4 = 5,000 (amount of damage required for a single round)
5,000 ÷ 3 ≈ 1667 (amount of damage when accounting for Saucegeyser tripling bonus)
1667 - 60 = 1607 (amount of damage after subtracting Saucegeyser base damage 60-70)
You need to deal 1607 unformatted damage 4 times for lethal damage.
This magic number 1607 can be partially made up of Mysticality and Spell Damage. See Calculating Spell Damage for a more detailed breakdown.
With the assumption that your base Mysticality is 100 (as it probably will be for off-class), the following list can be of use. Note that effects from 2015 are excluded, because you would be using Garbage Nova. Seriously.
(List of all standard-legal Mysticality boosters)
Because Saucegeyser automatically tunes to the element that will deal the most damage, items and effects that boost hot spell damage should be considered:
- Song of Sauce (effect) +50 Hot
- Hot Hands +20 Hot
- Erudite +15
- Arched Eyebrow of the Archmage +10
- astral chapeau +20
- astral ring +20
- blackberry slippers +10
- Blessing of Charcoatl +10 Hot (costs 1 5-ball)
- Flavour of Magic +10 (doesn't matter which one)
- Intrinsic Spiciness +10
- Imp unity ring +5 Hot
- Heck General cloak - Heck Clown 2x (IOTM: unwrapped knock-off retro superhero cape)
- base spell damage rate 100%
- Sigils of Yeg +200% (IOTM: Bagged Cargo Cultist Shorts)
- Avatar of She-Who-Was +100% (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Turtle Tamer)
- Do You Crush What I Crush? +100% (IOTM: box o' ghosts)
- Simmering +100% (costs 1 adventure, probably not worth it)
- Song of Sauce (effect) +100%
- Spit Upon +100% (IOTM: baby camelCalf)
- weeping willow wand +100% (IOTM: Your SpinMaster™ lathe)
- 9-Volt-Charged +50% (IOTM: Potted power plant)
- AA-Charged +50% (IOTM: Potted power plant)
- AAA-Charged +50% (IOTM: Potted power plant)
- astral statuette +50%
- Car-Charged +50% (IOTM: Potted power plant)
- D-Charged +50% (IOTM: Potted power plant)
- Lantern-Charged +50% (IOTM: Potted power plant)
- Powerful Glove +50% (IOTM: Powerful Glove)
- Visions of the Deep Dark Deeps +50%
- whittled wand +50% (IOTM: Distant Woods Getaway Brochure)
- obsidian nutcracker +30% (all worse weapons are not worth using)
- We're All Made of Starfish +25% (IOTM: Beach Comb Box)
- Concentrated Concentration +20%
- The Wallaby Moon Sign +20%
- Concentration +10%
- Master Saucier +10%
- Subtle and Quick to Anger +10%
- blackberry slippers +5%
- Magic Dragonfish increases percent Spell Damage by 2*weight up to 50 pounds (100%).
(List of all standard-legal Familiar Weight boosters)
While Spell Criticals are appreciated, they are unreliable and should not be considered except for hilarity, and are provided only for posterity.
- Big Smile of the Wallaby +10% (IOTM: Distant Woods Getaway Brochure)
- Sauce Monocle (effect) +15% (CLASS-SPECIFIC: Sauceror)
- Smile of the Wallaby +10% (IOTM: Distant Woods Getaway Brochure)
- whittled wand +10% (IOTM: Distant Woods Getaway Brochure)
- Wizard Squint (effect) +10%
- Sauce Monocle (effect) +5% (CLASS-UNSPECIFIC: not Sauceror)
1667 = spell% * (60 + 0.4*Mys + flat spell) 1454 = spell% * (60 + 0.4*Mys + flat spell)
In order to achieve 1667 base damage per round, take 60 + 0.4*Mysticality, and then add any flat spell damage. Then multiply by your percent spell damage. +400% spell damage is viable, so 1667 base damage gets compressed to 333.4 raw damage. Subtract about 100 flat bonus spell damage, and you're left with 233.4. Subtract the original 60 damage from Saucegeyser, and you're left with 173.4 damage derived from 434 Mysticality. With +500% spell damage and 100 flat bonus you need a mere 295 Mysticality. It's not pretty, but it's easy!
Cone of Zydeco
(CLASS-SPECIFIC: Accordion Thief) Deals base accordion damage + 0.4x moxie, multiplied by 5. Effectively requires 2,500 Moxie to deal 20,000 damage across 4 rounds. Do not attempt until something goes horribly, horribly wrong with the KoL meta.
Mirror, Mirror, on the Floor
Breaking the mirror increases the Sorceress's stats, and makes her immune to staggers. While not challenging for veteran players, lacking a fully decked-out World's Best Adventurer sash can make this more difficult than planned.
Shadowboxing
The Shadow opponent can only be defeated using healing items. It normally has 395 HP (different amounts possible in Bees Hate You, One Crazy Random Summer, Nuclear Autumn, Disguises Delimit (790 HP) which has to be whittled down as it tries to beat you down in return.
- scented massage oil all HP (you need to have a 395 difference between your current and max HP to instantly kill the shadow)
- plaid bandage 120-150
- red pixel potion 100-120
- filthy poultice 80-120
- gauze garter 80-120
- Doc Galaktik's Ailment Ointment 35-45
- cast 25-35
- Doc Galaktik's Homeopathic Elixir 18-20
- Saucy Salve 10-15 (can be cast multiple times for free, first time is always free)
Saucy Salve is a great skill that should always be used at the start of the fight. It's not unusual to get your first 5 salves all free, whittling the shadow down by ~60 HP and guaranteeing that 4 war healers is sufficient. Consider the following to buy extra turns vs the shadow:
- attorney's badge - 20% chance of blocking
- razor fang - ?% chance of blocking first attack
- Blood Bubble (effect) (first attack automatically blocked, does not stack)
- Eight Days a Week Pill Keeper (first attack automatically blocked, does not stack)
Opening with Saucy Salves, followed by 4 garters and poultices is typically enough, although it is prudent to have backup resources for in case you roll four 80s with the war healers. The single PADL Phone you receive from I Am The Brotherhood is worth a poultice in the hippy tent. Blood Bubble gives you a free turn.
The Naughty Sorceress herself
While the information on this page may be a little outdated, it goes into detail that people reading this page might not need. High DA gear and high +moxie gear is usually a good idea, the World's Best Adventurer sash can be really good after like 40 ascensions. Reminder that breaking the mirror makes the Sorceress 1 and 2 immune to staggers, as well as giving them doubled HP and probably higher stats. Wearing high DA equipment, as well as big stat boosters like a maxed out World's Best Adventurer sash can be extremely helpful. A constantly attacking familiar, or a Nosy Nose can also provide extra chances to land bit hits on the Sorceress.
- reinforced beaded headband
- surgical apron
- strong weapon for your highest stat (Fourth of May Cosplay Saber, lead pipe, soap knife?)
- useful offhand
- bullet-proof corduroys
- World's Best Adventurer sash
- damage increaser
- another good accessory
- Curse of Weaksauce
- Nosy Nose/Imitation Crab/??? + astral pet sweater/tiny bowler/ant tools