User:The ErosionSeeker/Fighting the Good Fight

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Are you fighting against something that's too hard to faceroll? Can't use Saucegeyser for enough damage?

Sounds like what you need is a list of things that can squish those squashes!

First, let's review what kinds of abilities that monsters can have:

  • soft damage caps
  • hard damage caps
  • stun/stagger-proof
  • blocks attacks
  • elemental resistance
  • ignores physical damage
  • ignores weapon damage
  • ignores spell damage
    • reflects spells
  • blocks combat items
  • delevel resistance
  • automatically hits
  • inflicts status effects on player in battle
  • and more!

Some of these are far harder to deal with than others, which means some strategies may work when others don't, and in some cases, strategies that work on everything else will fail in certain cases!

Basic methods

Sometimes, what you need is just a little extra oomph:

By increasing your stats, many challenges can be beaten. Mer-kin Colosseum monsters start off easy and get harder as you go deeper in, however, using bigger spells can typically let you force your way through. Chefstaffs and certain effects that boost spell damage are a very potent way to inflict a ton of damage, provided you have a decent baseline Mysticality. Giant Growth (skill), veiny spore pod, glowing spore pod, and cool spore pod are notable, because they are buffs that you can apply in battle, which is after scaling monsters' stats are calculated. Suddenly gaining +500% to a stat is tremendously useful. Note that you may need a few in-combat full heal items in order to actually take advantage of those extra stats.

Notable things to have


  • Shrap is a tremendously useful skill that deals three massive hits of damage at the cost of a warbear whosit. Much more expensive than most spells, but well worth it to burst down foes.
  • Volcanometeor Showeruption is a hot-elemental version of Shrap (some claim that Shrap is a physical version of Volcanometeor), requires an even more expensive resource as well as a priceless object (you'll have to borrow) to learn the skill from.

The following are from Hobopolis skillbooks. Cost huge amounts of MP and require two turns to build up to triple damage, but still viable budget options.

Spit Fireballs does something similar but is affected by mainstat, not spelldamage.

Dodging damage


  • Levitating Potato or a familiar with potato-like function - always useful.
  • ancient stone head - randomly causes monsters to be staggered. Inconsistent, but can be strong when paired with other effects.
  • asteroid belt - randomly causes monsters to be staggered. Inconsistent, but can be strong when paired with other effects.
  • attorney's badge - randomly causes monsters to be staggered. Inconsistent, but can be strong when paired with other effects.
  • Florist friar plants - randomly causes monsters to be staggered. Inconsistent, but can be strong when paired with other effects.
  • Mesmereyes™ contact lenses - staggers monsters on the first turn, ensuring that you will always get to make the first action

The following will cause the monster's first attack to always miss. Lets you get around staggerproof monsters, but they can still inflict on-hit status effects. Having more than one will not give additional benefit.

While certain monsters are stunproof and staggerproof, regular damage is negated on the turn that you use these skills:

  • Silent Slam, Silent Squirt, Silent Slice - only one of the three are usable per fight, deals a minor amount of spooky damage and absorbs one attack.
  • Sauceshell - blocks the entire turn and then retaliates with a big burst of hot spell damage.
  • Shell Up - blocks the entire turn and then retaliates with Muscle-based damage and more with certain Turtle Tamer intrinsics. Turtle Tamer Standard reward wicker slicker lets you use this skill multiple times per fight, potentially ignoring all regular damage.


Maybe you're not hitting enough times. Maybe what you need is extra sources of damage every turn. Passive Damage include types that hit every turn, and ones that only hit when the opponent hits you. Named "lanterns" after the original, the Rain-Doh green lantern, these items do an extra set of elemental damage following your spell attacks.

These items let you deal an extra burst of elemental damage equal to the amount of spell damage inflicted. If you use Saucegeyser to deal 1000 damage, these items let you deal 1000 + 1000. For Weapon of the Pastalord, it will instead be 500 + 500 + 500, and for Shrap it will be 1000 + 1000, 1000 + 1000, 1000 + 1000. Extremely useful because they effectively double the spell damage you deal. Left-Hand Man can be used to wield another lantern. If you deal damage in an element that's the same as one lantern, the damage is added together. If this damage is then reflected by a second lantern, the boosted damage will be doubled (1000 hot + meteorb = 2000, retrocape will reflect 2000 spooky).

Notable Passive Damage

For other sources of passive damage, consult Passive Damage (and) Stinging Damage.

HP percent damage

  • beechwood blowgun/Poison Dart - deals 50% of the monster's current HP in damage, then half that amount every subsequent turn.
  • Blow a Robo-Kiss - deals 20% of the monster's maximum HP in sleaze damage. Reusable and very abusable against monsters with no damage caps!
  • Curse of Marinara - Sauceror skill that deals 3% of the monster's base attack stat as damage, while healing you for the same amount. While not particularly useful except against monsters with way more attack than HP, this skill keeps you in the fight while whittling monsters down for free.
  • Dinsey's pizza cutter - Utensil Twist for 50% of the monster's current HP in damage. Reusable.
  • gas can - deals 25% of the monster's current HP in damage, then deals the same amount that turn in burn, then deals half that amount every subsequent turn. Two gas cans used in one combat will only deal one instance of burn.
  • Juju Mojo Mask - has the Wrath of the Trickster God skill, which delevels and deals 15% of the monster's current HP in damage. While it can never finish a monster off on its own, this skill in conjunction with Marinara allows you to focus on healing and survival while keeping strong bursts of damage every turn.
  • Spooky Putty snake - jiggles for 25% of the monster's current HP in spooky damage. Can be doubled if the monster is weak to spooky.
  • Staff of the Headmaster's Victuals - jiggles for 30% of the monster's current HP in damage.
  • weeping willow wand/Barrage of Tears - deals 25% of the monster's current HP in physical and spooky damage.

Notable combat items

Powerful combat items:

Elemental alignment changers

These combat items treat your opponent as an element, which allows you to potentially deal double damage for the rest of the fight. Multiples can be used in order to change the monster's element multiple times, although that has never been necessary, ever.

Damage tuning

These change your weapon damage element, allowing you to land massive elemental attacks even as a muscle class.

These change your spell damage element, allowing you to guarantee the element of your Pastamancer spells.

New Age healing crystals

New Age healing crystals are combat items that stagger and heal 500 HP. They also turn into New Age hurting crystals, which deal 500 damage. If you have a large stack of them, you can funksling 2 to recover 1000 HP a turn, or use 1 healing 1 hurting to loop healing 500 and hurting 500 every single turn. Not the best, but can be useful against monsters that deal an amount of your maximum HP in damage, by limiting yourself to low enough HP that a single crystal can recover it all.

Tin Snips

Tin snips give stacking bleeding damage. Deals 8-10 damage, plus 8-10 bleeding damage every turn per use of tin snips. Although not recommended because of other effects that can be more effective, Ambidextrous Funkslinging two over 30 turns can result in as much as 480-600 from the impact damage alone, plus 6960-8700 bleeding damage from tin snips. Very powerful reusable combat item for whittling down monsters that don't let you attack or cast spells.

Spectral form

The purpose of these items is to massively reduce the damage that you take (and deal) for 3 turns. The catch is that using skills and items that deal damage over time allow you to reap the benefits without the drawbacks.

Cool Equipment

  • dark baconstone ring - increases spell critical multiplier from 2x to 3x, an overall increase of +50% damage with 100% spell crit.
  • dark hamethyst ring - increases critical hit multiplier from 2x to 3x, an overall increase of +50% damage with 100% crit.
  • Hand that Rocks the Ladle - a Smithsness weapon with a cool Utensil Twist skill that deals some of your Mysticality in damage, but also gives a burst of 10-12 of each element. Effectively deals 6 hits all at once for extremely low investment on a non-spell skill, making it a viable choice for spell-resistant monsters.
  • Dinsey's pizza cutter - much harder to get than a Ladle, but it also has a devastating Utensil Twist that deals half the opponent's current HP in damage. This is a lot less powerful in practice than it sounds because of damage mitigation, but can still represent a massive burst of damage.
  • Mercenary pistol - incredibly useful weapon that lets you deal Shrap-reflect levels of damage several times per turn. Boneburners, graveburpers, and splatterers each do 6 hits with the pistol, funksling lets you do 12. This lets you shred monsters like Wart Dinsey or high-level Dreadsylvania bugbears, who can be difficult to beat without ridiculous resistances.
  • Wrought-iron whisk - lets you deal 8 Salsaballs at once. Combine with a green lantern or snow mobile to do 16, which is probably more hits than any other action can in a single round.


Some monsters just hit really hard. Making them hit less hard can be really useful.

  • Curse of Weaksauce - powerful skill that delevels monsters by 3% of their original stats, every turn.
  • ebony epee - delevels monsters by 33% of their current attack. Useful when reducing monster defense doesn't matter.
  • jam band bootleg - delevels monsters by 50% of their current stats. Very cheap, you don't need much reason to use other deleveling combat items.
  • mumming trunk/The Captain on an undead familiar - delevels monsters by 25% of their stats at the start of combat. Always triggers before the monster can attack.
  • mumming trunk/The Doctor on an evil familiar - delevels monsters by 10% of their stats every time you attack.
  • slime stack - Fairly cheap item generated by a Slimeling, they deal 10% of the monster's HP in damage and delevels monsters by 10% of their current stats. Can cut stubborn monsters down to size.

Things that give big -ML effects (before a battle starts) can translate to reduced monster HP, reduced monster stats, and even total increased damage taken, by -0.4% per point of -ML (no cap).

At -100 ML, total damage taken by monsters is increased by 40%.