User:SpamMusubi

I'm a relatively new KoL player - working my way through my second ascension now. The wiki has been HUGELY helpful over the course of my playthroughs, especially as I consider future ascensions and think about optimizing. That said, I can also see that a lot of the checklist / strategy content is out of date, so I've been going down some rabbit holes here and there. As a newer player, I think that I bring a fresh eye to pages that a newbie more relies on, as opposed to a 100-ascension player who's not looking at checklists and strat pages anymore.

Basic Ascension Roadmap

For context in using the table below, the following is a barest-bones roadmap of what absolutely needs to be accomplished to ascend during a no-path run; "i.e.", all of The Council of Loathing's quests, and the sub-quests that need to be completed to make them possible (leaving aside basics like touching base with NPCs). This outline does not include optional but efficient diversions, such as Azazel, Ma Belle, though those diversions are noted in the table underneath. It also does not contemplate an optimal order of accomplishing these tasks, or optimal choices where choices are available.

Level 1: Toot Oriole Quest

• Obtain the letter from King Ralph XI from The Toot Oriole.
  • OR, if you have not yet ascended once, either complete or skip The Toot Oriole's tutorials.

Level 2: Spooky Forest Quest

• Obtain a mosquito larva from The Spooky Forest.

Level 3: Typical Tavern Quest

• PREREQUISITE: Must have completed the Spooky Forest Quest.
• Turn off the rat faucet in the Tavern Cellar of The Typical Tavern.

Level 4: Boss Bat Quest

• Gain access to Guano Junction in The Bat Hole, which requires you to have at least 1 Stench Resistance to enter.
• Gain access to the Batrat and Ratbat Burrow, the Beanbat Chamber, and The Boss Bat's Lair, either by using sonars-in-a-biscuit or defeating screambats.
• Kill the Boss Bat.

Level 5: The King of Cobb's Knob Quest

• Gain access to the interior of Cobb's Knob by obtaining the Knob Goblin encryption key in the Outskirts of Cobb's Knob.
• Gain access to the Throne Room:
  • Acquire and wear a Knob Goblin Harem Girl Disguise, then obtain the Knob Goblin Perfume effect, OR
  • Acquire and wear a Knob Goblin Elite Guard Uniform, then obtain the ingredients of the Knob cake and bake one.
• Kill the Knob Goblin King.

Level 6: Deep Fat Friars' Gate Quest

• Acquire the three items necessary to clean the taint in the Copse of the Deep Fat Friars:
  • A dodecagram, in The Dark Neck of the Woods, AND
  • A box of birthday candles, in The Dark Heart of the Woods, AND
  • An eldritch butterknife, in The Dark Elbow of the Woods.
• Cleanse the taint at The Deep Fat Friars' Gate.

Level 7: Undefile the Cyrpt Quest

• Gain access to The Haert of Darkness by undefiling all four zones within The Cyrpt.
• Kill The Bonerdagon.

Level 8: Mt. McLargeHuge Quest

• Gain access to The eXtreme Slope and the Lair of the Ninja Snowmen by returning 3 wedges of goat cheese from The Goatlet and 3 asbestos, chrome or linoleum ore (per his specific request) from Itznotyerzitz Mine to John the Trapper.
• Gain access to The Mist-Shrouded Peak:
  • Have at least 5 Cold Resistance when trying to enter, AND EITHER
    • Acquire and wear the eXtreme Cold-Weather Gear outfit, then complete the 3 eXXXtreme 4ever 6pack adventure in The eXtreme Slope, OR
    • Acquire the ninja rope, ninja carabiner and ninja crampons from the Lair of the Ninja Snowmen.
• Kill Groar on The Mist-Shrouded Peak.

Level 9: Orc Chasm Quest

• PREREQUISITE: Must have completed The King of Cobb's Knob Quest.
• Gain access to The Highlands by assembling a bridge over The Orc Chasm using 30 pieces of lumber (morningwood plank, raging hardwood plank, weirdwood plank) and 30 fasteners (long hard screw, messy butt joint, thick caulk).
• In The Highlands, light the signal fires on A-boo Peak, Twin Peak, and Oil Peak.

Level 10: Giant Trash Quest

• Gain access to The Penultimate Fantasy Airship by using an enchanted bean once on this quest.
• Gain access to The Castle in the Clouds in the Sky by obtaining the four Immateria (Tissue Paper Immateria, Gauze Immateria, Tin Foil Immateria and Plastic Wrap Immateria) and the S.O.C.K. from The Penultimate Fantasy Airship.
• Work your way up through The Castle in the Clouds in the Sky until you can adjust the Wheel in the Clouds in the Sky.

Level 11: Quest for the Holy MacGuffin

• Gain access to The Black Market by adventuring in The Black Forest with a black map until you have found it.
• Obtain the forged identification documents at The Black Market.
• Gain access to Desert Beach:
  • Complete the Bitchin' Meatcar Quest, OR
  • Purchase a Desert Bus pass from The General Store, OR
  • Acquire a tin lizzie or pumpkin carriage.
• With the forged identification documents, take a vacation at The Shore, Inc. to obtain your father's MacGuffin diary, and read it.
• Obtain the three parts of the Staff of Ed:
  • Obtain the ancient amulet:
    • Gain access to The Hidden Temple:
      • Complete the Spooky Temple Map Quest, OR
      • Complete the "Dakota" Fanning quest.
    • Work your way through The Hidden Temple until you gain access to The Hidden City.
    • Gain access to A Massive Ziggurat by working your way through the four overgrown shrines and the four sub-zones of The Hidden City they unlock.
    • Kill the Protector Spectre in A Massive Ziggurat.
  • Obtain the Eye of Ed:
    • Work your way through the Spookyraven Manor Quest until you have danced with Lady Spookyraven.
    • Gain access to the Spookyraven Manor Cellar by adventuring in The Haunted Ballroom until you play We'll All Be Flat.
    • Gain access to the Summoning Chamber:
      • Acquire the recipe: mortar-dissolving solution by examining the Suspicious Masonry in Spookyraven Manor Cellar, AND
        • Read the recipe, acquire the components, and re-check the Suspicious Masonry, OR
        • Read the recipe while wearing Lord Spookyraven's spectacles, create a wine bomb, and re-check the Suspicious Masonry.
    • Kill Lord Spookyraven in the Summoning Chamber.
  • Obtain the Staff of Fats:
    • Gain access to The Palindome by acquiring and equipping the Talisman o' Namsilat:
      • EITHER Acquire and combine the Copperhead Charm and Copperhead Charm (rampant):
        • Acquire the Copperhead Charm by fetching three items requested by Shen Copperhead, 'which may require you to gain access to The Hole in the Sky if you have not yet already'.
        • Gain access to The Red Zeppelin by adventuring at The Red Zeppelin's Mooring until you have dispersed A Mob of Zeppelin Protesters.
        • Acquire the Copperhead Charm (rampant) by adventuring in The Red Zeppelin until you find Ron "The Weasel" Copperhead, and kill him.
      • OR Acquire and combine two snakehead charrrms:
        • Gain access to The Poop Deck in the Obligatory Pirate's Cove by completing the Cap'm Caronch Quest.
        • Gain access to Belowdecks by adventuring in The Poop Deck until you complete It's Always Swordfish.
        • Adventure Belowdecks until you get 2 gaudy keys; use the keys (while still equipping the Swashbuckling Getup or pirate fledges to obtain two snakehead charrrms.
      • Work your way through The Palindome until you have acquired the Mega Gem.
      • Equip the Mega Gem alongside the Talisman o' Namsilat and kill Dr. Awkward.
• Acquire the Staff of Ed by combining the Eye of Ed, the Staff of Fats and the ancient amulet.
• Gain access to A Small Pyramid by exploring 100% of The Arid, Extra-Dry Desert and unlocking the Pyramid with the Staff.
• Acquire the Holy MacGuffin by working your way through A Small Pyramid until you have (sufficiently) killed Ed the Undying.

Level 12: Mysterious Island Quest

• Gain access to The Mysterious Island of Mystery:
  • Acquire a junk junk by completing the Hippy Boatman Quest, OR
  • Acquire a dingy dinghy by purchasing the dingy planks from The General Store and the dinghy plans from the The Shore, Inc. Gift Shop and combining them, OR
  • Purchase a yellow submarine from the Crackpot Mystic, OR
  • Create a skeletal skiff.
• Acquire either a Frat Boy Ensemble from the Orcish Frat House or the Filthy Hippy Disguise from The Hippy Camp.
• While wearing the outfit, adventure in either location until you have acquired either the Frat Warrior Fatigues or the War Hippy Fatigues.
• While wearing THAT outfit, adventure in the opposite camp from your new outfit until you have started the War; return to the Council.
• Adventure in The Battlefield while wearing your advanced outfit, doing sidequests on The Mysterious Island of Mystery as desired, until the War has been won and one side has been Bombed Back to the Stone Age.

Level 13: Naughty Sorceress Quest

• PREREQUISITE: Must have completed all previous Council quests.
• Gain access to the Coronation Courtyard by registering for all three contests at The Contest Registration Desk and defeating all three crowds of adventurers.
• After the Closing Ceremony, gain access to The Naughty Sorceress' Tower Door by completing The Hedge Maze.
• Gain access to the Tower itself by using six keys: Boris's key, Jarlsberg's key, Sneaky Pete's key, Richard's star key, a skeleton key, and a digital key.
• Work your way through the Tower until you reach the Sorceress' Chamber.
• Acquire a Wand of Nagamar, unless you're a crazy person.
• Defeat the Naughty Sorceress.
• Free King Ralph XI, gaining access to the Astral Gash.

Table Proof of Concept

Council Quests

Level	Pullable	Item	Location	Safe Moxie	Notes
1	Yes	1	1	1	1

Meat to Spend

Location	Item	Pullable?	Meat Cost	Notes
The General Store	1 sweet rims OR	Yes	300	Either one.
	1 Desert Bus pass	No	5,000
	1 dingy planks	Yes	400	So dingy.
	1 hermit permit	Yes	100	Either one.
	chewing gum on a string	Yes	50

Campground Items

text for intro

Level	Pullable	Item	Location	Safe Moxie	Notes
1	Yes	1	1	1	1

Efficiencies

Level	Pullable	Item	Location	Safe Moxie	Notes
1	Yes	1	1	1	1