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Poochy is basically a certifiable nutjob who named himself after a video game dog, claims to be 3 years old, and says his full name is Poochy.EXE. Poochy also thinks it's weird to refer to himself in third-person, so he will stop after this sentence.

In chat, I usually hang out in /games, both playing and hosting games. I own 5 accounts:

  • Poochy (#530410) - My main, spade/diamond account.
  • PoochyEXE (#538804) - Mostly dormant. Spade/heart account. Hosts games in /games, collector of yeti furs, and general goofing around, philanthropy, and experimentation. Currently dormant except when there's new content to be explored, or when I feel like doing a giveaway.
  • PoochyEXE V2 (#541801) - Dormant. Used to be for Oxycore ascending; has since completed all 6 Oxycores and I'm not sure what to do with this multi next. I then used it to try Bad Moon, but lost interest partway through and the account's been dormant since.
  • Poochy DS (#738966) - Dormant. Originally meant to be a "toastbot," until I realized there are already other toastbots in the game that do their job much better. I have no idea what to do with it now. Suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
  • Shadobobevo (#595866) - Dormant. The account originally belonged to a friend of mine; I took care of it when he temporarily left KoL, so that his Adventures wouldn't go to waste. He then decided to quit the game for good, giving me his account with all his Meat. I'm currently using the Meat as a prize fund for my giveaways and stuff.

I'd love it if anyone could donate yeti furs to my collection on PoochyEXE.

Poochy's Public Service Announcements

Recommended downloads to keep your computer safe:

Fight online evils:

Poochy's Law of Mall Prices

If P(t) gives the price P of a given item at time t days, then the derivative P'(t) can be approximated by:

P'(t) = -M*C1+C2


C1 is a currently-unknown constant, most likely universal for all items.
C2 is a variable that goes up or down temporarily whenever a new update occurs that affects the usefulness of the item in question, and is otherwise fairly constant.
Corollary: A new update that makes an item more common or nerfs it, thus decreasing C2, will occur only when M is high (examples: Lucky Tam, high-resistance ultrapolymer plating). A new update that makes an item less common or anti-nerfs it, thus increasing C2, will occur only when M is low (example: ten-leaf clover).
M is the amount of Meat worth of the item that Poochy currently has.


  • When Poochy buys an item that is increasing in value, its value can be expected to come to a screeching halt and start dropping faster than the IQ of someone watching "Pimp My Ride".
  • When Poochy buys an item that is decreasing in value, its value can be expected to drop faster.
  • When Poochy sells an item that is decreasing in value, its value can be expected to start climbing.
  • When Poochy sells an item that is increasing in value, its value can be expected to skyrocket faster.

This phenomenon is colloquially as "screwing the Pooch." It has held true for the TPS, Lucky Tam, tome of snowcone summoning, doll house, astral badger, petrified time, wax lips, the Crimborg Collective toys, the dusty bottles of wine, Crimbo P.R.E.S.S.I.E.s, dollhives... *grumble grumble grumble*


Your results are as follows:

Heart: 33%
Diamond: 33%
Spade: 33%
Club: 0%

Hidden Contests

Note: All the current hidden contest puzzles have been solved! More are in the works, but there are no more for now.

For anybody who actually bothers to read this page, there are a few contests that I have hidden in my page and/or subpages. The first person to solve each of these puzzles and kmail the correct answer to PoochyEXE (#538804) will win the prize. (Note: I often forget to check my kmails when I log on, so I may take a day or two before I respond.) To get you started, here's a hint on how to find one of them:

This is not haiku.
Syllable count is diff'rent.
That's your hint.
Edit: The contest the above hint refers to is now over, and the prize has been claimed. But don't be discouraged, as there are several more. Also, the page with the last step of the already-finished contest still contains a hint to one of the bigger contests.
Another Hint: For the contest with the biggest prize, I really don't expect people to possess the knowledge necessary to get the answer without any research. (Not people who speak English well enough to play KoL, at least.) I do know, however, that the answer should be much easier to get through the use of Google, Wikipedia, and/or YouTube for research.


Unmaintained Subpages