From TheKolWiki
Jump to: navigation, search

Eating und Drinking

Moxie Mysticality Muscle
rockin' wagon (vodka+olive+cubes)
perpendicular hula (rum+strawberry+cubes)
Mae West (whiskey+strawberry+cubes)
prussian cathouse (wine+strawberry+cubes)
roll in the hay (whiskey+soda+umbrella)
horizontal tango (wine+soda+umbrella)
gimlet (gin+soda+umbrella)
yellow brick road (vodka+soda+umbrella)
slip 'n' slide (vodka+orange+coconut)
fuzzbump (whiskey+lemon+coconut)
Mon Tiki (rum+lemon+coconut)
teqiwila slammer (tequila+lemon+coconut)
corpsetini corpse on the beach corpsedriver

Hardcore / Bad Moon / Oxy

General Help

IotM Stuff

The Mad Tea Party#Buffs

Hat Buff Effect
pail Assaulted with Pepper Monster Level +20
f3d0r4 Three Days Slow Familiar Experience +3
chef's hat Coated Arms Weapon Damage +15
snorkel Cat-Alyzed Moxie +10
eyepatch / lich face Anytwo Five Elevenis? Muscle +10
ravioli hat Smoky Third Eye Mysticality +10
filthy knitted dread sack Dances with Tweedles +40% Meat from Monsters
mariachi hat Full Bottle in front of Me Spell Damage +30%
Crown of the Goblin King Weapon of Mass Destruction Weapon Damage +30%
giant discarded bottlecap Patched In Mysticality +20%
reinforced beaded headband You Can Really Taste the Dormouse +5 to Familiar Weight
Baron von Ratsworth's tophat Turtle Titters +3 Stat Gains from Fights
Hat Weight
Attacks Gain stats Delevels
meat cowboy hat Max 10     1.0 Barrrnacle     3.0 Leprechaun    
sugar chapeau Max 25 1-100
(25% rate)
2.0 Volleyball       2.0 Leprechaun    
Brimstone Beret No cap   1.0 Volleyball       1.0 Leprechaun    
plexiglass pith helmet Max 45   1.0 Volleyball       1.0 Leprechaun    
stainless steel skullcap Max 22           1.0 Leprechaun 1.0 Fairy  
Tropical Crimbo Hat Max 25           1.0 Leprechaun 1.5 Fairy  
ice pick Max 25           1.5 Leprechaun 1.5 Fairy  
balloon helmet Max 12             3.0 Fairy  
pail Max 07             2.0 Fairy Second effect?
Knob Goblin elite helm Max 15             2.0 Fairy Second effect?
Dolphin King's crown Max 08 wt*(2-3)
(66% rate)
(50% rate)
Baron von Ratsworth's tophat Max 18       1.0 Potato (wt+5)*(1.5-3)
(50% rate)
Summoned Love Songs
Love Song Combat Use Effect
vague ambiguity Muscle-based Physical Damage
Gain HP
Broken Heart X HP Regen
+X Muscle
smoldering passion Myst-based Hot Damage
Gain MP
Fiery Heart X/2 MP Regen
+X Myst
icy revenge Moxie-based Cold Damage
Gain Familiar experience
Cold Hearted +X/2 Familiar Weight
+X Moxie
sugary cuteness Muscle-based Stench Damage
Gain Beefiness
Sweet Heart +2X% Meat
+X Muscle
disturbing obsession Myst-based Spooky Damage
Gain Wizardliness
Withered Heart +X% Items
+X Myst
naughty innuendo Moxie-based Sleaze Damage
Gain Cheek
Lustful Heart +2X% Combat Initiative
+X Moxie
X is the number of turns of the effect remaining, capped at 20.
Summoned Party Favors
divine noisemaker Muscle-based damage and stats
divine can of silly string Myst-based damage and stats
divine blowout Moxie-based damage and stats
divine champagne flute Add MP gain to booze
divine champagne popper Banish monster for 5 turns
Run Away (no adventure loss)
divine cracker Pickpocket and delevel enemy
Step 1 Step 2 Step 3 Final Reward Effect
(20 Adventures)
Head towards the noise
Catch up on your reading
Read a horror novel Extra Sensory Perception
+50% item drops
Find a hiding place
Scuttle away from the woman
Write your story Unpopular
+30 Monster Level
Head away from the noise
Explore the house
Go into the study Unpopular
+30 Monster Level

Stat Boosts

  • Moxie
  • Muscle / HP
    • Percentage
    • Blood of the Wereseal (+X%) - Smacketeria
    • Mick's IcyVapoHotness Rub (+25%) - Castle in the Clouds
    • Ben-Gal Balm (+15%) - Market Demon
    • Strength of Ten Ettins (+25%) - DoD potion
    • Pirate brochure (+10%) - Barrrgain Bookstore
    • Hella Tough (+25%) - BM buff
    • Fixed
    • Black Greaves (+10 mus)
    • Lead pipe (+6 mus)
    • Reinforced beaded headband (+40 hp)
    • Bejeweled pledge pin (+40 hp)
    • wonderwall shield (+50 hp)
  • Myst
    • Bleh
  • Early Resistance:
    • Sleaze: White Satin Pants
    • Cold: Oil of Parrrlay
    • Hot: Infernal Insoles
    • Stench: Bum Cheek, Pine Fresh Air Freshener, Harem Veil
    • Spooky: Lihc Eye Pie, Lihc Face
  • Combat Initiative
    • Items
    • Panty raider camouflage (+100%) - Battlefield, war hippy fatigues
    • Ant Agonist (+30%) - The Arid, Extra-Dry Desert
    • Cheap wind up clock (+30%) - Smacketeria
    • Sugar Rush (+20%) - Assorted candies
    • Swabbie Swab (+30%) - The F'c'le
    • Equipment
    • Furniture Dolly (+30%) - Battlefield, war hippy fatigues
    • Lord Spookyraven's Ear Trumpet (+25%) - Holy MacGuffin Quest
    • Worn Tophat (+20%) - Ballroom
    • Hors d'oeuvre tray (+20%) - Ballroom
    • Little round pebble (+50%) - Haiku Dungeon
    • Skills
    • Canticle of Celerity (+20%) - AT buff
    • Springy Fusilli (+40%) - PM skill
    • Lust (+50%) - Bad Moon skill

Item Level Result Notes
drywall axe 9 50% twinkly wad Received as a quest reward
Giant discarded fork/glove/bottlecap 10 50% twinkly wad Received as a quest reward
giant needle 10 50% twinkly wad
glowing red eye 10 50% hot wad, stench wad or twinkly wad
Mohawk wig 10 50% twinkly wad
ridiculously huge sword 10 50% twinkly wad
wolf mask 10 50% twinkly wad

Level 12 Quests


  • Fat Leon's Phat Loot Lyric (+20% items) - AT buff
  • Mad Looting Skillz (+20% items) - DB passive
  • Powers of Observatiogn (+10% items) - Gnomish passive
  • Natural Born Scrabbler (+5% items) - Hodgman passive

Less likely to have:


  • Polka of Plenty (+50%) - AT buff
  • Nimble Fingers (+20% meat) - DB passive
  • Expert Panhandling (+10% meat) - Sauceror passive
  • Gnefarious Pickpocketing (+10% meat) - Gnomish passive


  • Sauceror is the cheapest class to dive as
  • Cheaper to use Cannelloni for 20MP than pay for elemental phials

Trying to max out your DA is the way to go, with +HP items 2nd, +Muscle% third (unless you're diving at a relatively high level). DR is kind of useless since the level of damage you're taking is so high.

With that in mind, here's the "value" Gauntlet setup. Obviously, some people will have better access to resources/personal skills. I don't know what you have and what you don't, so here's something I threw together assuming few if any ascensions.

Hat: Wreath of Laurels 200 (+Muscle) Wep: Duct Tape Sword 40 Shd: Catskin Buckler 50 Leg: Danglin' Chat'd Loincloth 200 Ac1: Shiny Hood Ornament +HP Ac2: Blackberry Boots +HP Ac3: Bejeweled pledge pin +HP

Total: 490

Effects: Astral Shell 80 Ghostly Shell 80 Twinkly powder 30

Total: 190 Grand Total: 680

DA Bonuses, if they're available. Battered old top-hat, 0 additional, but bonuses. Need Hobopolis. Bronze Breastplate 125 additional, need Torso Awareness SSSuspenders 30 additional, need a HC run. Hide of the Otter/Walrus 20/40 additional, SC skill. Tao Double hat and pants power x2, TT skill

Other stuff: Shanty (HP bonus) Power Ballad (Kind of useless, but every little bit helps I guess...). All the cheap percentage +Muscle/+HP item effects, like Mick's, pine cones.

Addendum: It only makes sense to go up to 1000 DA, so if you have Tao, you can use lower powered hats/pants in an efforts to increase +HP or +Mus even more.

Part 2: When I ranked bonuses you want on the first line, I meant in terms of choosing equipment. Obviously, a lemon potion is going to bump your MaxHP quite a bit, so you'll want to be using one regardless of whatever else you have.