User:Duck and Cover

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Very nice to meet you. My name is Duck, and this is Cover. Duck AND Cover.

Before anything, I would like to make it clear that my name is NOT Duck and Cover. That's a mistake people unfortunately make A LOT and I should clear that I WILL NOT TOLERATE BEING CALLED THAT WAY (see, all caps). My name is only Duck, and anyone who adresses me in any other way will not be answered (or will have the crap beaten out of him). The Naughty Sorceress called me Duck and Cover, and look what happened to her.

Cover is the name of my best friend, my loyal Helmet Turtle. Cover was once a Chrome Helmet Turtle, but was reborn with me, turning into a regular Helmet Turtle again. I'm kinda happy about that. In fact, that's a little weird, because Chrome Cover is at Hagnk's Mostly-Burned-Down Ancestral Mini-Storage, and Reborn Cover is with me. I don't take Chrome Cover from the Storage because I can't use him now, but I immagine what would happen to them if I did. Maybe one of them would vanish in a puff of metaphysics or something. Creepy.


  • Sign: Mongoose
  • Path: Oxygenarian
  • Account Number: 696584
  • Currently: Hardcore

My Familiars

My Tattoos

  • Class2.gif Because I never go out without my Turtle.
  • Asc1.gif Because the Naughty Sorceress called me Duck and Cover. Bitch.
  • Asc2.gif Because the Sorceress is not that smart. BTW, I kicked her ass at Crimboween's eve! How cool is that?
  • Swordtat.gif Because the 8-Bit items seemed the most powerful at the time.
  • Cola2tat.gif Because we all were lvl. 4 someday.
  • Coldgear.gif Because I feel cold too.
  • Hippy.gif Because I like to say "Piece and Love".
  • Losertat.gif Because I was really pissed with the Naughty Sorceress because she called me Duck and Cover, so I thought this would scare her out. (in fact, I recently found out I operate better without wearing a costume with a zipper in my crotch, so I'm dropping that)
  • Eliteguard.gif Because I got a lot of meat beating the crap out of them.
  • Haremgirl.gif Because the Goblin King is a perv.
  • Minertat.gif Because Dwarves don't let anyone mine in their mines (or Because the more is mine, the less is yours).
  • Pirate.gif I don't quite remember why right now. I like the skull, though.
  • Elbereth.gif Because it took me a long time to find a Baby Killer Bee
  • Palette2.gif Because I completed the Pretentious Artist Quest, duuuuuh...

People who called me Duck and Cover (it's Duck AND Cover, damn it!)

  • The Toot Oriole: O.K., I forgive him, because he is my master and stuff, but being so wise he should have guessed that no sane mother would call her son Duck and Cover.
  • Gunther, Lord of the Smackdown: I know he is a guy who trains guys to beat monsters for living, but I expected him to have a little more brain.
  • The Naughty Sorceress: This one I won't forgive. She is the most stupiditly powerful sorceress of the Kingdom, and she doesn't know that "AND" is commonly used to separate two words? I wouldn't get mad about the King Kidnapping, or the monster attacks, or even the flirting in Fernswarthy's Hut, but DUCK AND COVER? Give me a break.
  • King Ralph XI: All right, he didn't know me so well, and, in fact, I don't remember of ever telling him my name. Creepy. Anyway, he gave me jewelry. You don't beat a guy who gave you jewelry.
  • Izchak: I can't believe this guy. He seemed fun at the beginning, until he called me Duck and Cover AND threw a Mimic at me. But later on I went back and trashed his store, so I think we're even.
  • Terri, the Turtle Tamer

Custom Item

WARNING: These items don't exist, they're just a joke. However, it would be cool to have them, so anyone who can convince Jick to create them and give the ore to me will be my second best friend forever.

Bertonium Ore
Bertonium Ore

This ore is glowing with a pretty green light. Maybe you shouldn't hold this for long. It would be better if you meatsmithed it in some kind of living helmet! It would probably protect you from monkeys holding dynamites.

(Meatsmithing component)
Cannot be traded.
Cannot be discarded

Cover, the Bertonium Helmet Turtle
Cover, the Bertonium Helmet Turtle

This is Cover, the loyal life-long partner of Duck. Cover is the only Helmet Turtle that can protect you from a nuclear explosion. But only if you duck and cover. Duck AND Cover.

Type: hat
Power: 150
Moxie Required: 60
Cannot be traded.
Cannot be discarded

Serious Nuclear Explosion Resistance
Muscle +10
Damage Absorption +10

Hatpants.gif helmet turtle dense meat stack
Hatpants.gif meaty helmet turtle Burtonium Ore
Equals.gif Cover, the Burtonium Helmet Turtle