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dalistar100.jpg Dalinian_KoL_Avatar.jpg
dalinian -- (#747561)

What's With This Dalinian Frood?

  • KoL noob doing his first run through the Kingdom as a female turtle tamer, and enjoying himself tremendously
  • Brimming over with gratitude to all the contributors to Visual KoL wiKi, without which I'd be stumbling around
    tripping over by own boot laces
  • Wiki-curious enjoying contributing to Visual KoL, and using this page as a playing aid
  • Member of the Helper of Newbies clan -- A clan is Us!
  • ...erm...
  • That's enough for now; more in-game at my charsheet profile

Caution: This Page Is NOT A Player Guide

As a noob, I'm finding KoL to be delightfully silly, complex and multi-dimensional. So I'm aware of my need to
keep track of what's what, who's who and what my Turtle Tamer's got her eye on acquiring, assimilating or
assassinating. Since wiki-editing is so easy, and internally hot-linking places, people and possibilities is so
useful, I'm choosing to use my User page as a notepad on which to keep my KoL-playing notes.
For a discussion of the consequences, see this page's discussion page.

So what's below may be most likely irrelevant to you -- and you're of course welcome to browse away.

To Do

Top Of The Pile

For 50,000 Meat, you can open up your own store in the Mall of Loathing in Seaside Town.

Fernswarthy's Basement

  • Need Moxie L27 > 98
  • Needed Moxie L26 > ?? -- 98 did the trick
  • Needed Mysticality L24 > 81 -- 91 did the trick
  • Needed Moxie > 78 -- 93 did the trick
  • Needed Mysticality > 71 -- 77 did the trick

{{ZAP Daily Dungeon}}

  • Devonin on /newbie says buffed stat should do the trick

Star sword must have at least 67 base Muscle to equip


See also: Dressing For Success #Accessories

  • Potions
    • effervescent potion -- Strange Mental Acuity: +25% Mysticality (10 Adventures)
    • fizzy potion -- Strength of Ten Ettins: +25% Muscle (10 Adventures)
    • milky potion -- Pretty much nothing happens
    • murky potion -- Sleepy: -30% Muscle (20 Adventures)
    • smoky potion -- +16 hit points, +16 Muscularity Points
    • swirly potion -- Teleportitis (10 Adventures)


To operate Testudinata, simply send a kmail with the amount of meat indicated. You will be buffed as soon as possible; in times of high demand, this may take a few minutes.

  • D -- Daily allowance of 'free' buffs, for 150 adventures
  • [ 90 | 300 | 1200 | 6000 ] -- Normal Price List, for N adventures; [ * | ^ ] flag exceptional durations in Effect column
  • Limits: 3 concurrent AT buffs
D 90 300 1200 6000 Buff Effect
1 15 51 204 1021 Moxious Madrigal +10 Moxie
2 46 153 612 3062 Jalapeno Saucesphere Monsters attacking you take 1-3 damage; the damage is converted into an HP gain
3 61 207 817 4083 Polka of Plenty Increases meat drop rate by 50 %
4 162 537 2144 10718 Elemental Saucesphere Provides resistance to fire, cold, stench, and spookiness
5 163 538 2045 10719 Jabanero Saucesphere Monsters attacking you take 4-6 damage; the damage is converted into an MP gain
6 138 459 1837 9186 Fat Leon's Phat Loot Lyric Increases item drop rate 20%
7 276 920 3674 13320* Empathy of the Newt +5 to familiar weight *=4350
8 120* --- ---- 13312^ Ode to Booze Given more adventures when drinking booze (+1 Adventure per drink) *=15 ^=1665
- 16 52 205 1022 Magical Mojomuscular Melody +30 MP -- your maximum MP is higher than usual.
- 17 53 206 1023 Cletus's Canticle of Celerity Increases Combat Initiative by 30%
- 31 102 408 2041 Power Ballad of the Arrowsmith +10 Muscle
- 69 230 919 4593 Ghostly Shell +40 Damage Absorption -- +80 with the TT skill Tao of the Terrapin
- 115 383 1531 7655 Tenacity of the Snapper +8 Melee Damage
- 92 306 1225 6124 Brawnee's Anthem of Absorption +40 Damage Absorption
- 161 536 1243 10717 Astral Shell +80 Damage Absorption -- +160 with the TT skill Tao of the Terrapin
- 164 539 2146 10720 Reptilian Fortitude +30 HP -- temporarily boosts your maximum HP
- 199 663 2654 13269 Psalm of Pointiness Damages attacking enemies
- 260 868 3470 13317* Jackasses' Symphony of Destruction +12 Melee Damage *=4605
- 413 1378 5512 13297* Stevedave's Shanty of Superiority +10% to All Stats *=2895
- 566 1888 7553 13218* Aloysius' Antiphon of Aptitude Increased Stat gain from battles (+1 Muscle, +1 Mysticality, +1 Moxie) *=2100

Meat Sources

Take a ten-leaf clover to the Cobb's Knob Treasury: dense meat stack > Inventory > sell stuff = 1,000

115 The Icy Peak 213.0

40 Cobb's Knob Treasury 55.8

For average meat per adventure per area:

Tip: polka of plenty, empathy, elemental saucesphere, egg-stortionary tatics, leash of linguini (buffs); (items) toy train, tiny plastic hermit, porquiose necklace, lucky tam o shanter; and a cheshire bitten famaliar, where a lepreuchaun would work just as well for meat @ 35 lb

The Council of Loathing

Something is amiss, Adventurer. The Nearby Plains are filling up with giant piles of garbage, and despite our best efforts, it keeps falling from the sky faster than we can clean it up. We need you to figure out where it's coming from, and put a stop to it.

Big Battle Checklist

Inventory: Equipment > Current Equipment -- best available?


Syncopated Orifice Familiar46.gif Snowy Owl Attacks enemies

Skills & Buffs, Pre-Combat:

Item Buffs:

Completed Quests

Boss Bat Quest

  * Enter The Boss Bat's Lair
  * Defeat the two-headed Boss Bat (43 mox), who can do up to 19 damage in combat!

We've gotten word, Adventurer, that the Knob Goblins, who normally keep to themselves over at Cobb's Knob, are planning a major military action against Seaside Town. We need for you to go deep into the Knob, and nip this problem in the bud, so to speak, by neutralizing the Goblin King. We've marked your map with the location of the secret entrance that will allow you to go inside the Knob. Many Bothans died to... oh, wait, never mind. That was something else.

  * Knob Goblin perfume  
  * Knob Goblin Harem Girl Disguise = 
    * Hat: Knob Goblin harem veil +  
    * Pants: Knob Goblin harem pants
  from the Harem, where the girls (35 mox) and guards (40 mox) do up to 15 damage in combat!
  * Stock up on: 
    * Doc Galaktik's Homeopathic Elixir - 240 Meat from Doc Galaktik's Medicine Show, Market Square, Seaside Town. 
    * Red pixel potion - from 1,000 Meat at the Mall, or Inexplicable Door adventuring/Crackpot Mystic manufacture.
  * Enter the King's Chamber and
  * Defeat The Knob Goblin King (62 mox), who can do up to 42 damage in combat!
  * If you get beaten up, you'll have to get another Knob Goblin perfume to try again.

The Deep Fat Friars in the Distant Woods are having a problem -- one of the experiments has gone awry, and fey creatures have invaded their grove. Please, Adventurer, lend them your assistance. Collect the three items necessary to perform the ritual which will banish these fiends back to their own realm.

  • The first item can probably be found in the Dark Neck of the Woods.
  • The second item was last seen in the Dark Heart of the Woods.
  • The third item was stolen near the Dark Elbow of the Woods.

The Brotherhood of the Smackdown

The Brotherhood of the Smackdown, Right Side of the Tracks, Seaside Town - learn some skills.

Spectral Snapper -- §10,000 -- This skill summons a spirit Snapping Turtle to bite your opponent. It does 30-80 hit points of damage, and never misses. (20 MP)

Next visit: L11


Mollycoddled Miasma Familiar1.gif Mosquito Sucks HP out of enemies and injects it into player (heals you, and does damage to the monster)
Geosynchronous Whelk Familiar14.gif Ghuol Whelp Restores both HP and MP
Libidinous Lollipop Familiar2.gif Leprechaun Increases meat drops by 5% per pound
Bat-Farting Vampire Familiar12.gif Blood-Faced Volleyball Increases stat gains by one for every four pounds of familiar
Badly Groomed Fireplace Familiar15.gif Baby Gravy Fairy Increases item drops by 2.5% per pound
Bulbous Bridesmade Familiar8.gif Barrrnacle Slows enemies down, reducing their combat effectiveness -- this can only happen on the first round of combat.
Syncopated Orifice Familiar46.gif Snowy Owl Attacks enemies
Godless Genuflection Familiar11.gif Grue Attacks opponent, depending on the phase of the moons

Would Like To Meet

Sabre-Toothed Lime - First of all you need to visit the goatlet and get some sabre teeth. Then you need to go to menagerie level 1 (in the cobbs knob laboratory) or to the palindome and acquire a lime. You then combine the two to get a sabre toothed lime cub. Then just "use" that. The lime will attack in battle. Its item is the tiny shaker of salt.

Angry Goat - Combine goats cheese from the goatlet and anti-cheese from the shore. You now have a goat. It will attack enemies. Its item is the prosthetic forehead.

Spooky Pirate Skeleton - The spooky pirate skeleton is slightly tricky to make. First, go to the misspelled cemetary and get 8 skeleton bones. Then go to the obligatory pirates cove and get a pirates pelvis and a sunken chest. Then you must make a pirate skull, this is done by smart skull + disembodied brain = brainy skull, then brainy skull + eyepatch = pirate skull then "use" the pirate skull. This will combine all the items you have collected together to get the pirate skeleton. Then "use" the pirate skeleton in your inventory. The Pirate Skeleton helps in battle. Its item is the blundarrrbus.

upto:The Howling Balloon Monkey

Already Familiar With

  • Spooky-Gro fertilizer (from The Spooky Forest) + ghuol egg = fertilized ghuol egg + Familiar-Gro™ Terrarium > Ghuol Whelp Familiar

Daily Checks

  • Dress appropriately
  • msg chatbot -- /13, /14, /15
  • Evil Golden Arches
  • Choose Familiar
  • Complex cooking: send ingredients to AverageJoe, "I can do any foods (I think), unless theres some you need a special day for or skill i dont know about, other than pastamastery and saucecrafting."

Clover Day?

Chat /12 to ask chatbot, "Does the hermit have clover today?" Yes:

Outskirts of Cobb's Knob (with ten-leaf clover) > Knob Goblin Uberpants (Power: 45)

Lycanthropy/Stat/Special Day?

Check the KoL Almanac for

  • Temporary Lycanthropy: Muscle boost
    • The Smacketeria, The Brotherhood of the Smackdown > blood of the Wereseal (10 Adventures) for 500 Meat > Temporary Lycanthropy
  • Stat Day Info: Muscle Day
  • Event Forecast for Special Days
    • Look 'em up, document and do 'em as they occur

End of the Day


Save and quit Firefox

The Campground

Collecting for Clockwork chef-in-the-box

  3 cog - Degrassi Knoll
  3 flange - Thugnderdome, The Gnomish Gnomads Camp BUT you need to have ascended with a Moxie Zodiac sign to see it in NE Desert Beach; 4,000 Meat in the Mall
  3 sprocket - Degrassi Knoll
  3 spring - Degrassi Knoll
  1 clockwork key - Thugnderdome, The Gnomish Gnomads Camp - 14,000 Meat in the Mall
  1 Chef's hat - Outskirts of Cobb's Knob

Pagoda Quest


The Ground Newbiesport™ Tent Barskin Tent Cottage House
Rest0.gif Rest1.gif Rest2.gif Rest3.gif Rest4.gif
3 - 5 HP 8 - 10 HP 18 - 20 HP 28 - 30 HP 38 - 40 HP
5 MP 10 MP 20 MP 30 MP 40 MP

House Strange Leaflet Quest > Frobozz Real-Estate Company Instant House (TM) > House

Old Haunts

  1 disembodied brain - Fernswarthy's Tower
  1 smart skull - The Misspelled Cemetary
  1 Chef's hat - Outskirts of Cobb's Knob
  1 box - The "Fun" House
  1 spring - Degrassi Knoll 
  2 beer lens - The Typical Tavern Booze, for which you must have a minimum of 100 meat 
  1 box - The "Fun" House
  1 disembodied brain - Fernswarthy's Tower
  1 smart skull - The Misspelled Cemetary
  1 spring - Degrassi Knoll 


Ongoing Quests

The Gourd Tower, Right Side of the Tracks, Seaside Town - Turtle Tamers must collect (initially 5) Knob Goblin firecrackers from the Outskirts of Cobb's Knob, The Nearby Plains > Gourd potion: gain 30-35 subpoints in your main stat, best taken on a Stat Day

The Bounty Hunter Hunter's Shack, Wrong Side of the Tracks, Seaside Town - each day, he pays bounties of double the autosell price on three of a set of items.

The Crackpot Mystic's Shed, Wrong Side of the Tracks, Seaside Town > continuum transfunctioner >> The Inexplicable Door, The Distant Woods > 20 red pixels + 10 black pixels = Pixel pants (Power: 50)

Uncle P's Antiques, Wrong Side of the Tracks, Seaside Town >

  • 'Villa' document - 500,000,000 Meat
  • Mr. Exploiter - 1,000,000,000 Meat

Completed Quests Too

The Sleazy Back Alley, Wrong Side of the Tracks, Seaside Town > Spirit of the Slug Lord (one time) > the Slug Lord's map > With Stench Resistance: pants of the Slug Lord

Mall Store

eggs > 3,000

black striped oyster egg 5,800 blue paisley oyster egg
blue plastic oyster egg
Elf Farm Raffle ticket
frigid ninja stars
guitar pick
lavender plastic oyster egg 3,700
lavender striped oyster egg 3,800
mauve plastic oyster egg 3,500
mauve polka-dot oyster egg (1) Cthulu's Paradise 5,200 Meat
off-white paisley oyster egg (13) CocoBug Express 10,000 Meat
off-white polka-dot oyster egg (4) Milk and Thistle Cafe 7,000 Meat
off-white striped oyster egg (8) Moxie-Mart 7,700 Meat
puce plastic oyster egg (1) The Return of David's House of Chicken and Waffles 4,500 Meat
puce striped oyster egg (7) Whueb's Boutique 4,499 Meat
rusty L-shaped piece of metal (1) Shop of Loopyness 550 Meat yellow paisley oyster egg (1) George Bush Don't Like Black People. 7,900 Meat
yellow polka-dot oyster egg (6) Bruces Bar and Grill 5,450 Meat
yellow striped oyster egg (1) Ollivanders 4,250 Meat


Bonebelt.gif Badass belt +5 All Attributes
Monocle.gif Baron Von Ratsworth's monocle +10% Item Drops from Monsters
Ringa.gif Boris's ring +10 Muscle
Transfunc.gif Continuum transfunctioner Allows access to The Inexplicable Door area in The Distant Woods
Watch.gif Dead guy's watch When equipped, gives a single extra adventure at Rollover
Glove.gif Dirty hobo gloves +2 Stench Damage
Knuckles.gif Enchanted brass knuckles 2x chance of Critical Hit (1)
Buckler1.gif Hippo skin buckler +5 Muscle PLUS +20 Damage Absorption

Jarlsberg's earring

Earrings.gif Jarlsberg's earring +10 Mysticality
Ring.gif Shiny ring +3 All Attributes

(1) NOTE: If you wear multiple items that increase Critical Hit chances, only the highest multiplier applies.

Visual KoL Wiki

Get item 2 of Quick and easy searching with Firefox to be just a javascript:addEngine function call: Talk:Jinya

Template: quantum scale references

References: La Farmacia de Suenos Hombre Muerto Caminando Tasty Fun Good rice Pencil golem-pointy pointy Lead necklace

Gifts To Go



Hagnk's Mostly-Burned-Down Ancestral Mini-Storage, Right Side of the Tracks, Seaside Town - where a player's items are placed when they ascend.

The Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts, Wrong Side of the Tracks, Seaside Town - the guild for Disco Bandits and Accordion Thieves. Here guild members can learn new skills and buy useful items.

The Untinker's Cottage, Right Side of the Tracks, Seaside Town - once you find his screwdriver, he'll be able to use his trusty rusty screwdriver to untinker anything put together with meat paste.


Clan Run Programs

Clan Member Run Programs

User:NewZorkBat and kmail messages; Knowledge management Could 'material flow management' be better translated to 'logistics management'?

Banjob (#105105) Level 38 Turtle Tamer ** 1,111 meat for 300 turns of Ghostly Shell. 1,850 meat for 300 turns of Astral Shell. 2,780 meat for 300 turns of Empathy. Banjob

Scratching Post

Meat is occasionally referred to in terms of "Pounds Sirloin" as a currency name in parody of the Pound Sterling currency of the UK. This usage utilizes the Section sign "§" (Alt+789 in Windows, Option+6 in OS X) to prefix sums of meat, such that §1,000 (one thousand pounds sirloin) equates 1,000 meat.

I'm saving for my skill-training fund so what I'd like is an average meat/adventure (mpa) table, eg: ... Fernswarthy's Tower: 32 mpa, Beanbat Chamber: 35 mpa, The Misspelled Cemetary: 39 mpa, etc... Does anyone know of a site where that data's available?

forums wiki coldfront google

Doodad + Doohickey Dispensary blong dalinian

The Map of the Locations of the Kingdom of Loathing

Map1.gif Seaside Town

Wrong Side of the Tracks

Right Side of the Tracks

The Hall of Records
The Mall of Loathing
The Council of Loathing
The Clan District
The Dungeon Full of Dungeons

Market Square

Map2.gif The Campground

Your Colossal Closet
Kingdom of Loathing Certificate of Participation
Evil Golden Arches Bartender-in-the-box
Familiar-Gro™ Terrarium
Meat Maid
Magical Mystical Hippy Stone

Map3.gif The Big Mountains

Mt. Noob
The Barrel full of Barrels
Mt. McLargeHuge

The Dark and Dank and Sinister Cave
The Hall of the Legends of the Times of Old
The Hermitage

Map5.gif The Nearby Plains

Cobb's Knob

26 Fernswarthy's Tower
The Cake-Shaped Arena
22 Degrassi Knoll
29 The "Fun" House
32 The Misspelled Cemetary
80-100 The Cyrpt
86 The Palindome (if you have a Talisman o' Nam equipped)
The Bat Hole
The Beanstalk

Who knows?
Map7beach.gif Desert Beach

The Shore, Inc
30 South of the Border

Map8.gif The Distant Woods

10 The Spooky Forest
45 Whitey's Grove 14
20 The Typical Tavern
The Copse of the Deep Fat Friars

The Hidden Temple
35 The Inexplicable Door 7

Island.gif The Mysterious Island of Mystery

The Hippy Store
50 Orcish Frat House
51 The Hippy Camp 22
76 The Obligatory Pirate's Cove 12

KEY: NNN LocationTitle NNN 
   Moxie Damage to expect

Moxie values can be found at Safe Adventuring