Up In Their Grill

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Up In Their Grill
Up In Their Grill

You see a group of Knob Goblin guards standing around. They appear to be guarding something, which is how you know they're guards and not just ordinary Knob Goblins. They brandish their spears and try to look menacing as you approach.

"Back off, human!" one says. "We've got a really big sausage here, and we're not gonna let you get your hands on it!"

"I bet it isn't that big," you say. "You probably just measured it in centimeters or something, so it seems bigger."

"Hah! Shows what you know! Take a look!"

The goblins move aside a little so you can see the grill they're guarding. The sausage atop it is, in fact, pretty huge -- your jaw hurts just looking at it. This would be the perfect sausage to prove your <'manliness'|manliness> to Gunther.

Grab the sausage, so to speak. I mean... literally.

"How long have you guys been guarding this sausage?" you ask.

"Oh... must be about four hours now."

"That long? Maybe you ought to see a doctor."

"Huh? There's nothing wrong with any of us."

You crack your knuckles in a menacing fashion. "Not yet there isn't."

The guards shrink visibly under your icy glare, and don't move to stop you as you grab the sausage and stride away. As you leave, you hear some commotion behind you:

"Hey! What the heck is wrong with you fools! You were supposed to be guarding that sausage!"

"Sorry boss," says the guard. "I guess we blew it."

Bigsausage.gifYou acquire an item: 11-inch knob sausage

Occurs at Outskirts of Cobb's Knob.


  • This adventure is, of course, a lot of jokes about a sausage being a nickname for a man's penis. Including:
    • "Getting your hands" on it.
    • Measuring one's penis in metric, so that the actual number is bigger (this would be a 28 cm sausage, incidentally).
    • "Your jaw hurts", a reference to oral sex.
    • It's often recommended you see a doctor if you have a priapasm, or an erection lasting four hours or longer.
    • Shrinkage (cold causing a man's penis to become smaller)
    • "We blew it", also a reference to oral sex.