Unholy diver

Unholy diver
Monster ID	745
Locations	The Wreck of the Edgar Fitzsimmons
Hit Points	1000
Attack	700
Defense	540
No-Hit	710
Initiative	100
Meat	200-300
Phylum	horror
Elements	None
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	arm, head, leg, torso
Drops glowing syringe, rusty broken diving helmet, rusty porthole, rusty rivet, rusty rivet, rusty rivet, rusty rivet
Manuel	unholy water
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting an unholy diver

This diver hasn't quite been down long enough in the midnight sea, so he doesn't get to ride the tiger yet. It looks like he's channeled his tiger-ride-denied grief into rage, and now he's coming for you. If you're going to be the sole survivor of this fight, you gotta get away, gotta get away.

Hit Message(s):

He produces a giant drill and bores a hole in your arse. Argh! Ooh! Oof! Ooh! Eek! Ouch! Argh! Argh! Ugh! Ooh!

It headbutts you with its heavy helmet. Your head would be swimming after that, if it hadn't already been swimming. Ugh! Ooh! Ow! Ouch! Ugh! Argh! Ow! Oof! Ooh! Ugh!

He swims past you and you cut yourself on a rusty rivet. What a riveting experience! Ow! Eek! Ow! Oof! Ouch! Oof! Ouch! Argh! Oof! Ouch!

Critical Hit Message:

The diver tackles you and holds you down while a creepy-looking little girl pokes you with a syringe. Ugh! Oof! Ooh! Ouch! Argh! Oof! Ugh! Argh! Eek! Argh!

Miss Message(s):

He produces a giant drill and tries to bore a hole in your shoulder, but you're too bored to be bored right now.

It tries to headbutt you, its helmet is too heavy. You know what they say: heavy is the head that wears the really heavy helmet.

He swims past you, flailing ineffectively. Maybe his porthole's gotten fogged up.

Fumble Message:

The diver collapses under the weight of his own helmet, and takes a few moments to struggle back to his feet. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You gain 200-300 Meat (average: 250, stdev: 20.82)*

You acquire an item: glowing syringe (4.4% chance)*

You acquire an item: rusty broken diving helmet (3.0% chance)*

You acquire an item: rusty porthole (2.3% chance)*

You acquire an item: rusty rivet (11% chance)*

You acquire an item: rusty rivet (10% chance)*

You acquire an item: rusty rivet (2% chance)*

You acquire an item: rusty rivet (1% chance)*

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Occurs at The Wreck of the Edgar Fitzsimmons.

Notes

• The glowing syringe will only drop if you have asked Grandpa about "diver".

References

• The name and description of this monster reference the rock song "Holy Diver" by Dio.
• The hit and miss messages with the drill and the creepy little girl refer to the Big Daddies and Little Sisters in the video game BioShock.
• What they actually say is, "Heavy is the head that wears the crown," but they're misquoting Shakespeare's Henry IV: "Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown."