Undead elbow macaroni (monster)

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Undead elbow macaroni
Monster ID 147
Locations The Haunted Pantry
Hit Points 1
Attack 1
Defense 1
No-Hit 11
Initiative 50
Meat 4-6
Phylum undead
Elements spooky
Resistance None
Monster Parts arm, elbow, head, leg, torso
Drops
magicalness-in-a-can
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
undead elbow macaroni You're fighting an undead elbow macaroni

Inside the Haunted Pantry, you encounter an undead elbow macaroni of unusual size. It rubs its hands together and prepares to assault you like a peanut.

Hit Message(s):

It munches on your <ear> with its sharp, dry-pasta teeth. At least it isn't getting lodged in your gums. Don't you hate that? I do. Ugh! (spooky damage)

It pastaslaps you in the <ear>. You feel like you've been whipped with a wet noodle. Eek! (spooky damage)

It burrows into your chest, making a neat hole all the way through you. Man, usually it's only the edgar rice that burrows like that, not the pasta. Argh! (spooky damage)

Critical Hit Message:

It jumps under your clothes and makes you wiggle around, doing a stupid, repetitive dance. Baila tu cuerpo alegria, macaroni! Ow! Ouch! (spooky damage)

Miss Message(s):

It tries to munch on your <lower back>, but you scare it away with a bowl full of cheese.

It pastaslaps you in the <head>. It's like being whipped with a wet noodle. Which is to say, you don't really notice.

It tries to burrow into your chest, then remembers it's pasta, not edgar rice, and therefore can't burrow.

Fumble Message:

It starts to pastaslap you again, but suddenly goes rigid and can't move. Looks like it's been left out too long, and is drying out. It stiffly hops away to soak in some boiling water before continuing the fight. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 4-6 Meat (average: 5, stdev: 0.71)*
Spraycan.gifYou acquire an item: magicalness-in-a-can (27.1% chance)*

Occurs at The Haunted Pantry.

Notes

  • There exists a stuffed version of this monster.

History

References

  • The "undead elbow macaroni of unusual size" is a reference to the "rodents of unusual size" in William Goldman's book The Princess Bride.
  • The critical hit message involving a repetitive dance refers to the "Macarena". The chorus of the song that goes with the dance starts "Baila tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena".
  • The "prepares to assault you like a peanut" part of the description text is probably a reference to the following pun: "There were two peanuts walking down the street, and one of them was assaulted...peanut" from episode 1 of Monty Python's Flying Circus.
  • One of the miss messages is a pun on American author Edgar Rice Burroughs.