Uncle Crimbo's Mobile Home
Contents
Crimbo 2016
Uncle Crimbo's Mobile Home was located in Crimbo Town (2016) at The Big Mountains:
Starting December 12, 2016:
- Uncle Crimbo's trailer looks much the same as it always has, although this time Uncle Crimbo is sitting up on top of it, in the lotus position. Or, to be more precise, he's floating about six inches above the top of it. It's a little weird to think about old Uncle Crimbo having become the Crimbuddha (aka the Crimbodhisattva) last year, but that's what happened. Just so you know. In case you missed it.
- It isn't very clear what a Crimbuddha actually is or does, but he seems very powerful. Maybe it's because of all that meditating he does. He sure does do a lot of it. It looks like that's what he's doing right now in fact, sitting slightly above his trailer with his legs crossed and his eyes closed, although his face seems somewhat less serene than you remember from the last time you saw him. In fact, he's wearing a rather troubled expression.
- A familiar rattling sound causes you to turn around, and you see Tammy the Tambourine Elf cheerfully waving her tambourine at you.
Subsequent visits:
- Uncle Crimbo is still hovering slightly above his trailer in the lotus position. Hopefully he can be brought out of his meditative funk before Crimbo Day.
After Tammy assigns you to cleanse Uncle Crimbo's Sack Chakra, leads to Uncle Crimbo's Chakras
Crimbo 2015
Uncle Crimbo's Mobile Home was located in Crimbo Town (2015) at The Big Mountains:
- Uncle Crimbo's trailer looks much the same as usual, though there's a note on the door that says "Meditating -- Do Not Disturb".
- Probably best to do as it says -- you wouldn't want to get put on U.C.'s 'ungroovy' list.
After The Crimbulmination (4):
- Uncle Crimbo's trailer looks much the same as usual, though there's a note on the door that says "Out spreading peace and harmony. Merry Crimbo."
Crimbo 2014
Uncle Crimbo's Mobile Home was located in Crimbo Town (2014) at The Big Mountains:
You step into Uncle Crimbo's abandoned trailer. It smells like peppermint, franks 'n' beans, and stale cigar smoke. I mean, that's usually how it smells, except the cigar smoke is a little fresher. Anyway. There's a can of beans on the stove, half-eaten, a spoon still sticking out of it. There's a pair of dirty old stockings hung by the chimney to dry after they were washed in the kitchen sink.
The only non-depressing, interesting detail is a set of schematics that seem to be for some big factory automation system. You study them for a few minutes, but can't make heads or tails of them--and the cocoa-stain rings all over them don't help with the legibility. I guess Uncle C isn't around at the moment, and nothing in here looks like it'll help you find him.
Crimbo 2013
Uncle Crimbo's Mobile Home was located in Crimbo Town (2013) at The Big Mountains:
Starting December 15th
Subsequent visits:
- You're doing great work, kid. Just keep fighting those warbears while I finish the War Machine, okay? Hold 'em off a little while longer and we'll give them one heckuva Crimbo surprise. Hey, have you built some machines in the K.R.A.M.P.U.S. facility yet? You'll get some useful stuff out of 'em if you use 'em right.
After defeating the Warbear General:
- Great work, kid! The War Machine is done and I'm switching it on! It's a honey of a design, kid; it's basically a huge combustion engine that belches out exhaust to trap greenhouse gases and warm up CrimboTown! It won't be cold enough for the warbears to hang out here when it's done!
- And hey, I could use a change from all this ice and snow, y'know? Next Crimbo's going to be great. Just me and the robots, hanging out in a tropical paradise, me sippin' on Mai Tais while the robots do all the work. What could go wrong? See ya next year, kid!
Crimbo 2011
Uncle Crimbo's Mobile Home was located in Crimbo Town (2011) at The Big Mountains:
On December 17th
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Hey, kid, nice to see ya again. How's it going? Are you having fun playing around in the diorama I put in your advent calendar? Good, good. Listen, here's the thing. That diorama's actually a magic portal to the place where I get all of the candy we use in Crimbo Town; you know, the stuff the elves eat, the stuff we put in stockings, everything comes from this place. It's a land where everything is made out of candy. So obviously, It's called Sugarville. So I had maybe a little misunderstanding about some friendly wagers with Big Candy, the guy who runs things over there. Would you believe, he completely cut off my supply! I figured, you being so good at what you do, you could beat some sense into those guys, and maybe steal some candy for me to hold the elves over. Whaddayasay? Oh, it goes without saying, but we're pretty hard-up for candy right now, kid. And you don't wanna see an elf without candy. Trust me. It's like me without my breakfast whiskey. So any candy you bring me, I'll trade you for Candy Credits. That's what we use for meat around here. The better the candy, the more Candy Credits you'll get. You can use those to buy presents to send to your buddies! Here's what I can give you for the candy you've got now: You have X (type of candy) for credits.
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Subsequent visits:
- You're doing a great job in Sugarville, kid. I think we've got Big Candy on the ropes, and he'll re-open our supply line any day now. Keep up the good work.
- Looks like you've got a decent candy haul there, too. That oughta keep an elf or two out of the nuthouse. Want to trade it in?
Subsequent visits with Advent Calendar unopened (or no combat adventures spent there since Crimbo town opens - mining doesn't count):
- Listen, kid, maybe I didn't paint a clear enough picture for you. Big Candy's cut us off and we're getting nothing out of Sugarville. The elves are eating brussels sprouts, kid, and they're not happy about it! Nothing's getting done because they keep getting the damn withdrawal shakes! Could you do an old man a solid, kid, and actually use the magical portal I gave you in your advent calendar? I mean, magical portals don't come cheap, kid! Get in there and kick some tail!
- At least you've got some candy you can trade in. Here's what I can give you for what you've got on ya:
Subsequent visits after defeating Big Candy:
- Hey, kid! Did you negotiate a new trade agreement with Big Candy like I wanted ya to? Didja agree to his extraterritoriality demands in exchange for a conditional lifting of the embargo, or what have ya?
- Oh, you just kicked the crap out of him? Well, that works, too. Good job, kid. We oughta see candy flowing again in no time. So you might wanna trade in for Candy Credits if you've still got any candy left, before we don't need it anymore.
Candy Credits
- Successful trade of candy:
You hand over your X Candy . Uncle Crimbo tosses it all into a bucket, then rings a bell for an Elf to take it away.
"That gives you X Candy Credits. You can trade in your Candy Credits at the Toy Factory, kid," he says as the shaky elf runs off to distribute your precious candy.
- If you don't have any candy in inventory:
It looks like you don't have any candy on ya, kid. Maybe you should collect some for the elves, before they start shanking each other over a dusty stick of gum!
Candy Conversion Table
Crimbo 2007
Uncle Crimbo's Mobile Home was located in Crimbo Town at The Big Mountains:
On December 12th
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Ah, it's about time you showed up, kid. Listen, I've got a real problem here, and unless you help me out, I'm going to have to cancel Crimbo this year. The ship that crashed over here is full of freakin' alien cyborgs, or something! They took over my workshop, kidnapped Rudolph the Red, and turned all of my elves into killer elfbots. Not only that, but they're up to no good in that ship over there -- I can hear 'em welding and doing god-knows-what at all hours of the day and night. If you want to put the hurt on 'em, I can probably make some toys out of whatever you can pull off of 'em. I studied their technology, and I -- well, it didn't make a damn bit of sense to me, kid, but the reindeer did some reverse-engineering on it. If you're lookin' to get in, they hide the key underneath the doormat. Can't miss it, kid. |
Upon defeating Father Crimbo
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Holy cow, kid, I didn't know you had it in you! So my brother was behind the whole thing, huh? That figures -- every time I tried to get ahead in life, he was always there to one-up me. I'm pretty impressed you chose me over him, kid, all things considered. I kind of figured I'd screwed up Crimbo like I've screwed up everything else, and you'd jump at the chance to have me out of here. You say you didn't have a choice? Well, that's sweet, kid, that you believed so strongly in me that you felt like it wasn't even a choice. Have a Happy Crimbo, kid, you earned it. |
After having defeated Father Crimbo
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Hey, kid. Thanks again for saving Crimbo from my brother and his Crimborg. Tell ya what I'll do -- you bring some toy parts to me, and I'll assemble them for you, free of charge. You earned it, kid. Oh, hey, there are still a few creepy elfborgs in the workshop, though. Would you mind taking 'em out for me, kid? |
Crimborg Toymaking
Bring back toy parts from the Toy Factory, and Uncle Crimbo will make toys for you.
monomolecular yo-yo (1 theoretical string + 1 toy hoverpad)
gyroscope (1 LED block + 1 toy hoverpad)
buckyball (1 synthetic stuffing + 1 nanofiber cloth)
mylar scout drone (1 theoretical string + 1 nanofiber cloth)
Bulky Buddy Box (1 iGoogly + 1 LED block)
stuffed gray blob (1 synthetic stuffing + 1 iGoogly)
teddy borg (2 iGooglies + 4 synthetic stuffings + 2 squares of nanofiber cloth)
roboduck-on-a-string (1 theoretical string + 2 iGooglies + 2 LED blocks + 2 toy hoverpads)
toy deathbot (2 iGooglies + 3 LED blocks)
dollhive (3 squares of nanofiber cloth + 4 LED blocks)
toy maglev monorail (2 pieces of theoretical string + 3 LED blocks + 6 toy hoverpads)
marionette collective (2 pieces of theoretical string + 2 iGooglies + 2 LED blocks)
borg sock monkey (2 iGooglies + 3 synthetic stuffings + 1 nanofiber cloth)
cyborg doll (2 iGooglies + 3 synthetic stuffings + 2 squares of nanofiber cloth)
Toymaking Text
- If you don't have the items required:
- C'mon kid, you do your job so I can do mine. I can't make you any toys unless you bring me some parts, and if you don't take out those cyborg freaks, there's no Crimbo for anybody. You want that restin' on your conscience?
- Successful toymaking:
- Man, this stuff is freaky. I don't trust technology, kid. Give me a good old-fashioned cigar, a good old-fashioned Old Fashioned, and a roaring fire any day of the week. I don't need it to play music, make phone calls, and do my laundry, you know? Here ya go, kid.
Toymaking with Old Parts
Hey, I see you're still lugging around some of our old toy parts. I suppose I can put them together for you, if you want.
You have the following toy parts:
X rock
X stringy sinew
X stick
X tooth
X spooky length of string
X evil googly eye
X spooky stuffing
X spooky felt
X spooky wooden block
X spooky toy wheel
X capacitor relay
X carbon nanotube frame
X ion grid
X Feynman gate
X logic synthesizer
X high-resistance ultrapolymer plating
X servomechanical torsion facilitator
X quantum polarity inducer
X bi-lateral logic compressor
X computronic processing unit
X reverse-oscillating klystron
X sub-molecular interocitor
X recursive spline reticulator
X atomic vector plotter
X ion-pulse modulation stabilizer
X hyperbolic plasma focuser
X length of string
X google eye
X stuffing
X felt
X wooden block
X toy wheel
With that, I can make the following:
Anything that could be made on previous Crimbos (see above -- not including the Crimboween recipe for the Pet Rock).
| Assemble! |
Toymaking Text
- Successful toymaking with standard parts:
- Aw, man, this takes me way back. Back to when those no-good elves thought they were too good to be workin' in the factory, that is. Here's your toy, kid -- I do everything else around here, why shouldn't I make all the toys?
- Successful toymaking with prehistoric parts:
- Wow, kid, you sure know how to give me a challenge. I mean, look at this thing! It's so easy, a caveman could make it!
Oh, great. Listen, don't tell anyone I said that, okay? The last thing I need is another damn lawsuit.
- Wow, kid, you sure know how to give me a challenge. I mean, look at this thing! It's so easy, a caveman could make it!
- Successful toymaking with spooky parts:
- Ah, the memories, kid. Did I tell you about that hot little hula dancer I met while I was on that tropical island? Never mind, never mind, I'll tell you when you're older. Anyway, here's your scary toy. Don't let it give you nightmares, kid.
- Successful toymaking with Crimborg Collective parts:
- This is some wild, freaky, futuristic stuff, isn't it? Be careful with this crap, kid, and don't hurt yourself.
Crimboween 2006
On December 25, 2006, Linnea's Monster Truck was replaced by Uncle Crimbo's Mobile Home:
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Uncle Crimbo
Hey, how's it going! I'm feeling much, much better since my vacation. Once I get my bearings back, I'll put Crimbo Town back the way it was, but for now, I figure I'll just let Linnea's minions continue to work. |
You've found:
X spooky length of string
X evil googly eye
X spooky stuffing
X spooky felt
X spooky wooden block
X spooky toy wheel
Spooky Toymaking
I think I can make the stuff Linnea was making:
possessed top (1 spooky wooden block + 1 spooky toy wheel)
killer rag doll (2 evil googly eyes + 3 spooky wads of stuffing + 2 spooky squares of felt)
tree-eating kite (1 spooky length of string + 1 spooky felt)
incredibly creepy marionette: (2 spooky lengths of string + 2 evil googly eyes + 2 spooky wooden blocks)
fancy dress ball (1 spooky stuffing + 1 spooky felt)
mad scientist's sock monkey (2 evil googly eyes + 3 spooky wads of stuffing + 1 spooky felt)- stuffed alien blob (1 evil googly eye + 1 spooky stuffing)
vampire duck-on-a-string (1 spooky length of string + 2 evil googly eyes + 2 spooky wooden blocks + 2 spooky toy wheels)
toy crazy train (2 spooky lengths of string + 3 spooky wooden blocks + 6 spooky toy wheels)- razor-tipped yo-yo (1 spooky length of string + 1 spooky toy wheel)
toy mercenary (2 evil googly eyes + 3 spooky wooden blocks)
evil teddy bear (2 evil googly eyes + 4 spooky wads of stuffing + 2 spooky squares of felt)
pet rock (1 evil googly eye + 1 spooky wooden block)
| Assemble The Toys! |
Spooky Toymaking Text
- If you don't have the items required:
- "Doesn't look like I can make anything with what you've got. Keep scroungin', kid."
- Successful toymaking:
- You hand the parts to Uncle Crimbo. He tinkers around with them for a while, then says "Here ya go, kid. Have... er... fun with this, I guess."
You acquire an item: Spooky Toy
- You hand the parts to Uncle Crimbo. He tinkers around with them for a while, then says "Here ya go, kid. Have... er... fun with this, I guess."
- Unsuccessful toymaking:
- You don't have enough parts to make that many of that.... that. That that that.
- Trying to make an item which isn't listed:
- That's not something Uncle Crimbo can make.
Crimbo 2005
Uncle Crimbo's Mobile Home was located in Crimbo Town at The Big Mountains:
On December 20th
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Ho, ho, ho, Adventurer! Merry Crimbo! Well, actually, it's not particularly merry. As you may have noticed, my elves are on strike, and are staging a violent protest at the toy factory. I guess that means I'm gonna have to make all of the toys myself this year. My skills are pretty rusty, (and I'm sort of drunk, actually,) but I still remember how to make a thing or two. Bring me some parts from the factory, and we'll see what I can do. |
Through December 25th:
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Ho, ho, ho, Adventurer! Merry Crimbo! Well, actually, it's not particularly merry. As you may have noticed, my elves are on strike, and are staging a violent protest at the toy factory. I guess that means I'm gonna have to make all of the toys myself this year. My skills are pretty rusty, (and I'm sort of drunk, actually,) but I'm remembering how to make more and more stuff as time goes by. Bring me some parts from the factory, and we'll see what I can do. |
After December 25th:
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Ho, ho, ho, Adventurer! Merry Crimbo! Well, actually, it's not particularly merry. As you may have noticed, my elves are on strike, and are staging a violent protest at the toy factory. I guess that means I'm gonna have to make all of the toys myself this year. Today it occurred to me that I could send my reindeer in to beat some sense into those elves. We'll see how that works out. Also, I've finally remembered how to make all of the toys I used to be able to make! Bring me some parts from the factory, and we'll see what I can do. |
Toymaking
Bring back toy parts from the Toy Factory, and Uncle Crimbo will make toys for you.
yo-yo (1 string + 1 wheel)- top (1 block + 1 wheel)
ball (1 stuffing + 1 felt)
kite (1 string + 1 felt)- pet rock (1 eye + 1 block)
- stuffed doppelshifter (1 eye + 1 stuffing)
- teddy bear (2 eyes + 4 stuffing + 2 felts)
- duck-on-a-string (1 string + 2 eyes + 2 blocks + 2 wheels)
- toy soldier (2 eyes + 3 blocks)
doll house (4 blocks + 3 felts)- toy train (2 strings + 3 blocks + 6 wheels)
- marionette (2 strings + 2 eyes + 2 blocks)
- sock monkey (2 eyes + 3 stuffing + 1 felt)
- rag doll (2 eyes + 3 stuffing + 2 felt)
Toymaking Text
- If you don't have the items required:
- I can't remember how to make anything with the items you have collected.
- Successful toy making:
- You give the pieces to Uncle Crimbo, who skillfully assembles them into a new toy.
- Unsuccessful toy making:
- You don't have enough items to make that many of that kind of toy.
- Trying to make an item which isn't listed:
- I don't know how to make that.
References
- The quote "It's so easy, a caveman could make it!" is a reference to a Geico car insurance advertising campaign, with the slogan, "It's so easy, a caveman could do it", which was followed by an advertising campaign where cavemen got offended by that statement.
- Father Crimbo is a play on "Father Christmas", a traditional British name for a figure associated with Christmas. Uncle Crimbo is Father Crimbo's neer-do-well brother.
- With a Lollipop Forest and a Fudge Mountain, Sugarville bears a striking similarity to Candyland.
